FIL drama :(

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_fil-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:11095457-3c21-424e-8db8-60079daf50d8Post:0a33b527-b59e-4626-8b98-08220a77a031">Re: FIL drama :(</a>:
[QUOTE]Did you ever consider that maybe the reason your FFIL is acting the way he is, is because you are trying to dictate, to an adult, what he should wear to a wedding? Yes, he is throwing a bit of a tantrum about it and making it a much larger issue then it needs to be.  But he may be trying to make a point as well.  He is an adult and most likely knows how to dress appropriately for a wedding.  And when someone comes along and treats him as a child (which is what you did but stating what the family memebers should wear, even down to the color) he gets defensive.  I know you said that you respect their rules and them but really telling him what to wear is not very respectful. Like all other PP have mentioned.  Just let this die.  It really isn't worth the fight and fallout that could come from it.  It is just clothing.  No matter what he wears you and your FI will be married and really that is all that matters.  The more you push this topic the more chance you have of him either not coming at all or showing up in something completely ridiculous just to spite you (which is pretty immature itself).
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>This, exactly!  </div><div>
</div><div>My grandpa is just like this.  He can't stand when someone tells him what to wear.  When my aunt got married, everyone got in his business and kept badgering him that he had to wear a tux.  He ended up wearing the tux... with Nikes.  If everyone had left him alone, he probably would have worn the black suit that he wore to my wedding, and the black dress shoes that he wore to my wedding.  </div><div>
</div><div>This is a grown man.  He's never going to respect you when you treat him like a child.  </div>

lauraanne9

Let it go.

My husband and I got married 9-15-12.  Our cake vendor had what can only be called a meltdown about a week before our wedding.  We got married in OH and live in CA.  I had to try to find a cake vendor, sight unseen, a week before the wedding.  i FREAKED out.  We found a vendor, they squeezed us in for a tasting, but it was not of our flavor of cake (I was mostly ok with this, I just wanted to make sure it was edible...it was amazing by the way).  I was worried the night before the wedding that our last minute cake vendor was not going to show up at 12noon like they were supposed to.

The day of the wedding, noon came and went.  The wedding happened.  I didn't even THINK about the cake until I saw it in the reception hall.

My point is that no matter how much you think you care now, when the day comes, SO MANY THINGS that seem like tragedies, dramas, and reasons to panic, are barely even noticed.

Planning a wedding is stressful.  There is a lot of pressure to make sure it is all perfect.  But in the end, well, you will be married.

What I learned is that, unless something happens that threatens you ACTUALLY getting married (this happened to us, my husband had been married before, his divorce papers were at his sister's in OH...they burned in a fire the week before the wedding and we were not positive we were going to be able to get a marriage license) you will not care about the rest.

i promise.

shannyb41

Honestly, I don't think your request is crazy.  I totally understand that you cannot tell your guests what to wear.  So normally I would tell you that you're crazy.  But since you are having your family involved in lieu of a bridal party I can understand that suit request. 

He doesn't want to wear one so it's going to be a struggle if you push the issue.  And if he wasn't planning on wearing a suit to being with...what does he plan to wear at your wedding?  I HAVE a wedding party but my father and FFIL will also be renting tuxes (no, I didn't tell them to...they already said they plan to). 

You know what....just let him be under dressed.