Wedding Etiquette Forum

Program Wording...NEED HELP!!

I recently got engaged and was thinking about the wedding programs. I am going to obviously be listing my bridesmaid and groomsmen. At all of my cousin’s weddings they put the relationship to the bride and groom (ex. Jane Doe – Sister of the Bride). I really like this idea and will be doing the same thing. I was adopted at a very young age (9 wks) and I consider them my true family. I met my birth mom and half sisters about 2 years ago and am very close with them also.

My question is how to word things in the program.
My sister in my adopted family is my MOH and she will be “Sister of the Bride”. So should I list my birth mom as “Birth Mother of the Bride” or “Honored Guest”? And should I list my half sisters as “Half Sister of the Bride” or “Birth Sister of the Bride”? Or something completely different? Also my personal attendant will be listed in the program and she is technically my fiancé’s brother’s fiancé (so future sister in law) so how should I list her as we will be getting married first? “Friend of the Bride”?

Thanks for all of your help!

To help clarify...my 2 half sisters are bridesmaids.
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Re: Program Wording...NEED HELP!!

  • Hopefully someone will give you the correct answer but if I were in your shoes I would not list the "titles" next to the WP names.

    A woman I consider to be my second mom is walking me down the aisle and my birth mom and dad are not going to be there. If I put "friend of the family" next to her name it would seem weird.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • Honestly, unless it's going to offend your adoptive parents I would just list everyone as Mother/sister/whatever of the bride.

    Also, what on earth is a personal attendant?

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  • Personally, if it's going to be that complicated with biological and adoptive family, half and step siblings, etc., I would leave off the relationship stuff from the programs.  People who know you well enough to attend the wedding will likely be able to figure out who is who either by reading the program or by talking with the other people during the pre-wedding parties or wedding reception.
  • I did the titles because, like you, I liked it and I like seeing it (especially if it's, like, a cousin's wedding so I don't know their friends or if the groom has sisters, etc.)

    I'm curious how/why you're thinking your birthmom and half-sisters will all be in the program.  I presume you're listing them at all because you plan to have them be part of the processional? which is okay, but feels like a LOT of people walking in. Normally siblings are only part of the processional if they're in the bridal party.  You can still honor your half-sisters by giving them corsages and having them sit up front without having them in the program/processional.  Even still, I didn't explicitly declare "MOB", "FOB" etc.  My program looked something like this:

    Grandparents of the Bride:  Dad's Mom
                                                 Mom's parents
    Mother of the groom:            MIL
    Parents of the bride:             Mom & Dad

    Bridal Party:                           Name (relationship)
                                                  Name (relationship)
                                                  etc.

    First Reading:                        Chapter/verse
                                    read by: Name (relationship)

    If you go with that kind of format you can just list birthmom under "parents of bride" and leave it alone.
  • Both GMs are my brothers, but also close friends with my FI. I decided not to put those relationships on there because i thought it would look kind of lame if it looked like 2/3 of FI's party were up there only because they're related to me. Additionally, my MOH is one of our closest friends, not just mine kwim?

    Lizzie
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_program-wordingneed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:12581faa-7cb1-4a60-8ef6-9a2aa3abcd8aPost:143c386d-ec82-428c-9f70-31d7bfff0ba2">Re: Program Wording...NEED HELP!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, unless it's going to offend your adoptive parents I would just list everyone as Mother/sister/whatever of the bride. <strong>Also, what on earth is a personal attendant?</strong>
    Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

    <div>Just my POV - it's a bogus position, but I have one.  My sister didn't want to be in the wedding, didn't want to be a reader, but wanted to be listed, since FI's immidiate famiy is all listed.  So, she's my personal attendent.  Her job will be to make sure everyone has their flowers, her boys are under control, and that I'm smiling.  And she gets seated right before the processional begins, and wears flowers.</div>
  • We did "parents of the bride" with a list and "parents of the groom" with a list.

    I'd probably just do "sister of the bride" vs. "half-sister," but if both of you use half-sister, then sure.
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