Ceremony Start Time on invitations?

semi891

Our officiant would like us to have the ceremony 'start time' listed as a half hour before the actual ceremony time on our invitations.  (Our ceremony is scheduled for 2 pm, so the invitation would say 1:30).  He may have multiple weddings that day and has seen enough weddings that don't go as planned, things run behind, etc, which can mess things up for everyone.  He also says that the extra half hour gives you some wiggle room.

My fiance and I always show up 20-30 minutes early for a wedding ceremony, and so in turn we would hate for our early arriving guests to think we were that far behind.  We are also having an outdoor ceremony so would be concerned if it's a hot day, people may be uncomfortable waiting a long time. 

Obviously in a perfect world, the bride would be the last to arrive and everything and everyone would already be in place. I know things can always go wrong and that chances are everything won't be on schedule on the day.  Did anyone have problems with late arrivals? Does anyone have suggestions to help prevent this so we can have things run as close to on time as possible?

Jen4948

The start time listed should be the time the ceremony will begin. 

Late arrivals are simply asked either to wait until after the walk down the aisle or some moment when they can enter unobtrusively.  If that's not possible, then they are asked to wait outside the venue until the ceremony is over and/or just go directly to the reception venue.

It's not your fault if others arrive late, so I don't think you need to think too far ahead.

achiduck

You list the time that the ceremony actually start. Your guests are adult enough to know how to be on time. I would be pissed if I showed up for a wedding at a certain time and found out I actually have to wait another 40 minutes or so.

At my wedding H, myself and our WP arrived at the church 45 minutes early and there were already a few guests there. 99% of our guests arrived on time with one couple arriving just as I was entering the church with my Dad but they had gotten lost on the way.

courtski2004

There will always be late arrivals which you cannot control. If I received an invitation stating the start time as 1:30, I would arrive at 1 meaning that I would be waiting for an hour. You have to trust that people will act like normally functioning adults and arrive on time. If you have a DOC, they can (or their assistant) stand near the parking lot by the path that people would take to get to the actual ceremony site and hold them if the processional has already begun, then allow them to be seated once the ceremony has commenced to keep latecomers from delaying the start time.

Don't inconvenience 90% of the crowd just because 10% can't manage to get somewhere on time.

stantokm

Agree with PPs.  As long as YOU are walking down the aisle on time, it doesn't matter what time your guests arrive.  You can definitely ask that wedding party members arrive early so that they are all ready to go on time, but that's normal.

NYCMercedes

Very strange, to me, that your officiant would ask this. Is this being asked of all brides that day? I have only been to two weddings that did not start on time and it did bother me a little. At both weddings, we were outside in the hot sun for at least 30 minutes before the processional began. Guests were outright grumbling at both weddings. It reflected poorly on the bride. Just make sure YOU are ready to walk down the aisle on time!

Maggie0829

Your officiant is rude.  Do not do this.  List the ceremony start time as the time you plan on walking down the aisle.  Like you said in your post, you and other early arriving guests would be just a bit irritated if they arrived at 2pm for a 2:30pm wedding only for the ceremony to really begin at 3pm.

As long as you and your FI are ready to go at the time that is listed, then that is all that matters.

SB1512

Agree with what others have said, it's not your fault if someone can't be there on time.  FI's sister is chronically late to every event (she completely missed FI's cousin's son's baptism a few weeks ago, and that event started 20 minutes later than the invite stated).  While I get that she is immediate family, I'm not waiting around for her to get there before we get things moving, or else we'd be starting at least a half hour later than planned and that's not fair to everyone else that arrived on time.

itzMS

Ditto all that PPs have said.

I just wanted to add as a person who always arrives on time/early...I would be not so thrilled to wait 45 minutes for your ceremony to start (the 15 minutes early I arrived + 30 minutes buffer time) especially if it were outdoors. Yuck.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I started 20 minutes late because of a vendor problem. We hired a shuttle to do 2 pick ups at the hotel and bring guests to the ceremony. He only did one pick up and left late. We had to tell him TWICE to go back and pick up the stranded guests. Thankfully no one was waiting for that long, since he didn't drop off the first round of guests until about 5:20 (we were supposed to start at 5:30). A few people maybe waited 35 minutes.

But that's an unlikely problem, especially if most of your guests are local and driving themselves.

This was obviously a game-time decision. I had guests who weren't there who had flown to CA from NY to see my wedding. If people are responsible for their own transportation and a few of them aren't there on time, too bad - you can start without them.

bunni727

Agree, list the actual start time.

Plus, with an outdoor ceremony, late arrivals aren't even a problem as there is no door to creak/slam and announce them. We had a couple people show up late, and no one noticed.

danielleper03

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-start-time-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13458b13-debc-4186-ac78-4d10407eec4aPost:50fc88f7-d307-4965-9df1-8acaa21d7a1e">Re: Ceremony Start Time on invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]Agree with what others have said, it's not your fault if someone can't be there on time.  FI's sister is chronically late to every event (she completely missed FI's cousin's son's baptism a few weeks ago, and that event started 20 minutes later than the invite stated).  While I get that she is immediate family, I'm not waiting around for her to get there before we get things moving, or else we'd be starting at least a half hour later than planned and that's not fair to everyone else that arrived on time.
Posted by SB1512[/QUOTE]

You could tell her the time changed lol Then she'd be right on time :)
i kid, i kid

monkeysip

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-start-time-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:13458b13-debc-4186-ac78-4d10407eec4aPost:4003afca-0dee-499d-a0c7-9cc96a828f6a">Re:Ceremony Start Time on invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ditto everyone else. Also, most weddings start late because of something going on with those IN the wedding, so planning to start the ceremony at 2pm but listing 1:30 on the invites does nothing to help with that issue. It just means your guests sit an wait for 45 minutes instead of 15 if something happens.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I was thinking this exactly.  It doesn't make sense to put an earlier start time just in case things run late. 

Seriously, people coming in late is not a huge deal.  I doubt that the bride and groom would even really notice... too busy focusing on each other and the ceremony itself.

semi891

That's great, listing the actual start time is what we wanted to do.  Like everyone said, we would be just as frustrated waiting around for a long time, as we always arrive early to weddings.  

This is definitely not something I would worry about at this point, it's just something our officiant seemed to insist upon.  I wasn't sure if it was the norm or not so I wanted to check.  A half hour early seemed excessive.  

RebeccaB88

Any chance that your officiant is trying to tell you to expect HIM to be late?

semi891

Hmm, I would hope not? He seems very organized, but even when I first spoke with him over the phone he brought up the "early" ceremony time/invitations thing.  My fiance and I both agreed that it's not fair to our guests.

skantrowitz

I'd list the actual start time. On your website, put something along the lines of "doors will open at 1 PM" to give people the idea that early is allowed/appreciated.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-start-time-on-invitations?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:13458b13-debc-4186-ac78-4d10407eec4aPost:6aa5158b-3d08-4ce5-b90a-ff1c83b38887">Re: Ceremony Start Time on invitations?</a>:
[QUOTE]Any chance that your officiant is trying to tell you to expect HIM to be late?
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

If this is a potential issue, then OP can just tell her officiant an early start time and then tell everyone else the actual start time.  I do this a lot with H because he is notoriously late for everything.  Suprisingly he was early for our wedding, but that had a lot more to do with his friends and parents making sure he was on time then him getting himself there on time.

misshart00

In Response to Re:Ceremony Start Time on invitations?:[QUOTE]Any chance that your officiant is trying to tell you to expect HIM to be late? Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

I was thinking this or could he have overbooked and he's trying to move weddings around.