Wedding Etiquette Forum

Guest RSVP-need to vent a little!

I have gotten back so many RSVP cards that are blank!  No name, not a yes or a no or their menu choice!  It's so frustrating.  But the most frustrating part of all, is that about 30% of our entire guest list didn't send their card back by the RSVP date! 

It is making me so stressed out.  I want to work on knocking things off my to do list and not tracking people down, which at this point with how I feel, just feels like babysitting.

Come on people!  Send your RSVP cards back, PLEASE.
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Re: Guest RSVP-need to vent a little!

  • That sucks.

    WHat's your game plan?
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvp-need-vent-little?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:140ff3e3-5832-4149-97a2-9aeb084ec678Post:6e1ae049-ea44-4a47-ab82-2c790e8bc6fa">Guest RSVP-need to vent a little!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have gotten back so many RSVP cards that are blank!  No name, not a yes or a no or their menu choice!  It's so frustrating.  But the most frustrating part of all, is that about 30% of our entire guest list didn't send their card back by the RSVP date!  It is making me so stressed out.  I want to work on knocking things off my to do list and not tracking people down, which at this point with how I feel, just feels like babysitting. Come on people!  Send your RSVP cards back, PLEASE.
    Posted by ashleighm9[/QUOTE]

    You didn't number or code them when you sent them out to keep track? That sucks.

    That last line w/PLEASE reminded me of Danielle from NJ Housewives. That's how I heard you say it in my head. HA :)
  • I'm beginning to wonder if people no longer know how to fill out RSVPs.  Like they don't know what the M______________ means.  If I were planning a wedding right now, I think I'd put the guests' names on the cards for them.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvp-need-vent-little?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:140ff3e3-5832-4149-97a2-9aeb084ec678Post:60e441d6-1f85-4168-a7e1-ae9e23aab574">Re: Guest RSVP-need to vent a little!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm beginning to wonder if people no longer know how to fill out RSVPs.  Like they don't know what the M______________ means.  If I were planning a wedding right now, I think I'd put the guests' names on the cards for them.
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

    I was a little worried about that actually so instead of M with the line, I put Name(s) with the line.
    image
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  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited July 2010
    In this age of technology, I really do think stationary etiquette is a lost "art".  And I can't think of anything to call it other than stationary but I'm guessing you know what I mean.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvp-need-vent-little?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:140ff3e3-5832-4149-97a2-9aeb084ec678Post:0b3e60d8-cc5f-4348-b55c-7f2be29d37ed">Re: Guest RSVP-need to vent a little!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Guest RSVP-need to vent a little! : I was a little worried about that actually so instead of M with the line, I put Name(s) with the line.
    Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

    Same!
  • On a related note, how long will you be waiting after the RSVP deadline to make phonecalls to those that hadn't replied yet? Our deadline is Aug 1, and I'm wondering when to start calling the slackers...
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  • Our RSVP cards look like this:

    Name(s)
    Menu choice [chicken] [vegetarian]

    then it has the yes or no.

    The writing names is a good idea but if only one person out of the couple doesn't come, then they have to cross off the other name?  In hindsight, I could have put little numbers on the corner to correspond to the guest list but I'd still have to contact people to see if they are coming alone, with a date or what they want to eat, so it wouldn't really save me time.

    My game plan is to email or call people.  The people who responded with a date, that we only invited them as a single person, I'm going to call and get their girlfriend's name.  If they don't have their name, then I'm going to tell them that we can't extend a plus one because of budget.  I hope they understand.  It is also very frustrating the people that I'm getting ahold of who tell me, "Oh yeah, I should be there."  This is a wedding people!  Should isn't good enough.  The catering alone is going to cost us about 100-150 a person, so if you don't show up, then it goes to waste.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Our RSVP date was July 15th.  I don't know what my deadline would have been to start calling people...BUT...I really need to get our rentals figured out and I need to know the guest list, exactly or pretty darn close, to get those numbers.  So that is what is pushing me right now to get it worked out.

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvp-need-vent-little?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:140ff3e3-5832-4149-97a2-9aeb084ec678Post:de06a314-e7f7-4b32-a8d1-fadd151bb118">Re: Guest RSVP-need to vent a little!</a>:
    [QUOTE]On a related note, how long will you be waiting after the RSVP deadline to make phonecalls to those that hadn't replied yet? Our deadline is Aug 1, and I'm wondering when to start calling the slackers...
    Posted by Allen+Smith[/QUOTE]
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvp-need-vent-little?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:140ff3e3-5832-4149-97a2-9aeb084ec678Post:de06a314-e7f7-4b32-a8d1-fadd151bb118">Re: Guest RSVP-need to vent a little!</a>:
    [QUOTE]On a related note, how long will you be waiting after the RSVP deadline to make phonecalls to those that hadn't replied yet? Our deadline is Aug 1, and I'm wondering when to start calling the slackers...
    Posted by Allen+Smith[/QUOTE]

    At least a couple of days.  Some people the deadline is the day they can drop it in the mail, so I would maybe wait two or three days after August 1st and then start calling/e-mailing.
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  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited July 2010
    [QUOTE]The writing names is a good idea but if only one person out of the couple doesn't come, then they have to cross off the other name?[/QUOTE]

    I think I'd set it up to keep each person separate:

    John Doe  ___accepts   meal choice:  chicken ____   beef ____
                        ___declines

    Jane Doe  ___ accepts  meal choice:  chicken ____   beef_____
                        ___declines
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvp-need-vent-little?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:140ff3e3-5832-4149-97a2-9aeb084ec678Post:f60e896c-dd9d-4706-825e-d16488f45f3e">Re: Guest RSVP-need to vent a little!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In this age of technology, I really do think stationary etiquette is a lost "art".  And I can't think of anything to call it other than stationary but I'm guessing you know what I mean.
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

    I totally think you are right. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • yeah, if 10 days have passed, you're good to go on the phone calling
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvp-need-vent-little?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:140ff3e3-5832-4149-97a2-9aeb084ec678Post:acb46173-ecba-49cd-a2c0-a4074202b3cb">Re: Guest RSVP-need to vent a little!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think I'd set it up to keep each person separate: John Doe  ___accepts   meal choice:  chicken ____   beef ____                     ___declines Jane Doe  ___ accepts  meal choice:  chicken ____   beef_____                     ___declines
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

    The bright side of doing that, is that you wouldn't have guests replying with "with guest" when you didn't extend a plus one to start with.  It is lost on some people that when you send their invitation if it is only addressed to John Doe, then only John is invited.  I hoped that if people had a girlfriend I didn't know about or something, then they'd just email or call and ask me and then it would be fine with me.

    Good idea!  If I could go back and order our stationary again, I'd keep this in mind:)
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  • <div class="Discussion_PostQuote">In this age of technology, I really do think stationary etiquette is a lost "art".  And I can't think of anything to call it other than stationary but I'm guessing you know what I mean.
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007</div>

    [QUOTE]I totally think you are right. [/QUOTE]

    We just have to keep "dumbing it down".  Even RSVP cards came about that way.  It used to be that the guests were to handwrite their own response on their own stationary and send it.  :sigh: I could have been born in the 19th century and been perfectly content (w/ the exception of the daily shower thing). =-)  Can you tell I've been watching period movies recently? ;-)
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • I do think the RSVP card has become a "lost art" in this age of technology. 

    Our RSVP date passed this weekend, so I am going to wait until the middle of this week to get any that were mailed over the weekend, and then I'll start to call.  We only got back 1/3 of the cards.  For about half that are left, I am pretty sure that they aren't coming since we are getting married in another state.  I still think it is rude to not return it though.
    09.10 Siggy Challenge
    PhotobucketMy favorite picture is of the night we got engaged!
  • On a related note, our RSVP cards had the M________ on them and we actually got some RSVP cards from guests whose names started with the letter M filled in as such:

    Michael and Jane Doe______
    or
    Mary Doe_________

    Not "Mr. & Mrs. Doe_________ " or "Ms. Mary Doe__________" (as it's intended to be filled in)

    I think once a week passes from your RSVP date you're good to go to start calling the stragglers. That has allotted time for anyone who mailed theirs in ON the deadline date....
    The Bump ate my signature. DD - Apr 2011 DS - expected June 2013
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-rsvp-need-vent-little?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:140ff3e3-5832-4149-97a2-9aeb084ec678Post:acb46173-ecba-49cd-a2c0-a4074202b3cb">Re: Guest RSVP-need to vent a little!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think I'd set it up to keep each person separate: John Doe  ___accepts   meal choice:  chicken ____   beef ____                     ___declines Jane Doe  ___ accepts  meal choice:  chicken ____   beef_____                     ___declines
    Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

    This is basically what I did, but if people just drop them in the mail without checking any of the boxes... yikes.  I'm just sending mine out now so crossing my fingers that my guests can figure out how to fill out a card!
    Married 10/2/10
  • I put the guests names on the cards - it was the only way to know clearly who wanted what entree. 

    You've got the right idea - split up the list between whomever is available to help call (your FI, your mom, his mom, a sister or FSIL, etc.) and hop on the phone. 
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • I called someone today to see if they were coming and they actually asked me...

    "WHAT IS THE DATE AGAIN?"

    OMG.....if you don't have it marked on your calendar yet after I've sent you a STD and an Invitation to a really freaking awesome and fun wedding, then I'm sorry, I don't really think I want you to come anymore.
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  • We are sending out our DIY invitations next month and already planned inserting their names on the RSVP card as well.  One thing I learned from Knotties.  Also, guest lists seem to be one of the biggest stresses of planing a wedding.  Sorry, that is not helpful to you at all though.  Good luck tracking them down!
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  • Mine say this:

    Please reply
    but August seventeenth, 2010
    Two seats have been reserved for
    Jane and Michael Smith
    ___ accepts with pleasure
    ___ declines with regret

    Please initial your meal choice
    ___ Lamb Giouvetsi
    ___ Roasted Chicken
    ___ Crab Cakes

    *************
    I don't have to worry about the "who" so much as what they want to eat. I'm getting a few back with X or a check instead of initials. So I still have to call.
    9.17.2010
    planning

    image
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