protocol for announcing a destination wedding

kderr22

I was wondering how to handle letting my family and friends know when and where my finacee and I are getting married.  It is a destination wedding and although I want to include my family and friends I don't want them to think that I am expecting them to travel for my wedding.  How do I handle this?  Also, since I am having an out of town wedding do I still have the bridal shower?  Thanks in advance!

WildMagelet

Invite who you want.  Let them decide if it is too far to travel.  They might suprise you and decide that your wedding is a perfect excuse to take a vacation.  You can still have a shower if you're having an OOT wedding, you just can't invite anyone to the shower that isn't invited to the wedding.

kcscejal

Just send them save the dates/invitations and they'll decide for themselves if they can make it.  You can hav a shower if someone offers to throw you one, but all guests must also be invited to the wedding.

RaptorSLH

If they're just not on the guest list at all, you can send announcements after the fact.  If your circle doesn't like announcements (they're etiquette proper, but some people don't like them,) just tell your friends that you have a date picked, but it's an small, family only wedding.

specialk84

You can still have a shower if someone offers to throw one for you, but all shower guests must be invited to the wedding.

Send your STDs and invitations, and trust your guests to make their own decisions about travel.

Kate61487

Ditto PPs - invite who you'd like to have there and who you can afford to host if they all said yes.  Let your friends and family decide for themselves if they can afford to make the trip.  Give quite a bit of advanced notice to your VIPs, as they may need to request vacation way in advance depending on their job. 

If there's someone in your life that, if they couldn't come you'd re-plan (say, your parents, or your best friend) then talk to them before sending anything out.

gananoque

this is what STDs are for. Also, chances are you won't be inviting hundreds of people to a DW. it will likely come up in conversation with close friends and family naturally and you will begin to spread the word naturally and organically.

you don't have to mak a big deal about announcing that you don't expect people to come (this sometimes actually comes off as sounding as though you don't really want anyone there). but, if people express their concerns about availability i'm sure they'll appreciate your being understanding in your response.

i've had people invite me to DWs and they've done the whole, "I TOTALLY understand if you can't make it! NO pressure!" and then, after we let them know we can't swing it, suddenly the pressure with whiny quips like, "Oh... I wish you guys could be there!" just make sure you don't do that. it's super annoying.