license panic

squeegy07

so my fiance is in a bit of legal trouble, and we didnt find out until it was too late (after the two week mark before the wedding) to cancel anything and get deposits back. we have been told not to worry and that it wont go anywhere by several people who know what they are talking about. but he cant help but to worry because of the whole what's your's is mine deal, meaning my assets would become his etc, which i have more of. since we couldnt cancel the wedding we talked to the priest and he said it was okay to do the ceremony but not sign a legal document and that it would be perfectly fine to wait to the issue blows over.

however the wedding is saturday and i am totally flipping out about this. i am worried guests will find out. i am in need of a little advice

AlexiaANDRobert

Can he handle the legal trouble before then?

Is it an unpaid parking ticket or unpaid child support?  I mean, it really depends on what it is.  'Legal trouble' can mean a bunch of things.

danieliza1127

Wow, well it's hard to offer advice not knowing what kind of legal trouble he's in.  Is there any reason to think that "they" (whoever they are) would come after his/your assets for something?  I mean if it's just a DUI, then you shouldn't be worried at all.  If it's a financial problem or offense, then I could see the concern.

You could go through the whole wedding thing and just not sign the paperwork, but that seems wrong to me.

lyndausvi

Can you sign a pre-nup separating your finances??

crfische

What kind of legal trouble is he in?

goheels05

Why are you just now finding out about it?  Legal trouble doesn't fall out of the sky, it's usually a result of something a person does, which he wouldn't do without his knowledge.

Don't have a fake wedding.  Either get married or don't.  I'm shocked that the priest is agreeing to give you a sham wedding. 

tidetravel

Well, that's a new twist on the "fake wedding" argument.  Have a wedding but not really be married.

Isn't marriage "for better or for worse?"  Get married like you planned and let the chips fall where they may.  Or, if this legal problem is bad enough that you question the marriage, then postpone or cancel the wedding until you figure out the issue between you.

SwedishChick2011

What is this "bit of legal trouble"?  If it's really minor, then why wouldn't you go ahead legally with the marriage?  It sounds like it's more serious if you're thinking about not signing the marriage license.  What if you have the ceremony and then the issue doesn't "blow over"?  Are you still going to get legally married?  If not, maybe you should just put off the ceremony until this is sorted out.  Either way, I think it's kind of silly to get "fake married."   

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_license-panic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1678c6cf-28c9-4add-9178-c1244e657a47Post:de4bed80-97b3-4d5c-8037-532373d02b38">license panic</a>:
[QUOTE]so my fiance is in a bit of legal trouble, <strong>and we didnt find out until it was too late</strong> (after the two week mark before the wedding) to cancel anything and get deposits back. we have been told not to worry and that it wont go anywhere by several people who know what they are talking about. but he cant help but to worry because of the whole what's your's is mine deal, meaning my assets would become his etc, which i have more of. since we couldnt cancel the wedding we talked to the priest and he said it was okay to do the ceremony but not sign a legal document and that it would be perfectly fine to wait to the issue blows over. however the wedding is saturday and i am totally flipping out about this. i am worried guests will find out. i am in need of a little advice
Posted by squeegy07[/QUOTE]

WE (you both) didn't find out...or YOU didn't find out?  I'm not trying to be snarky, promise, but I don't understand how someone can get into serious, assets in danger legal trouble without knowing it.  This is really quite concerning to me.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_license-panic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1678c6cf-28c9-4add-9178-c1244e657a47Post:564b6128-49eb-4829-ab1f-911a98b2b73e">Re: license panic</a>:
[QUOTE]Isn't marriage "for better or for worse?"  Get married like you planned and let the chips fall where they may.  Or, if this legal problem is bad enough that you question the marriage, then postpone or cancel the wedding until you figure out the issue between you.
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

That's good advice, I agree with that.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_license-panic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1678c6cf-28c9-4add-9178-c1244e657a47Post:de4bed80-97b3-4d5c-8037-532373d02b38">license panic</a>:
[QUOTE]so my fiance is in a bit of legal trouble, and we didnt find out until it was too late (after the two week mark before the wedding) to cancel anything and get deposits back. we have been told not to worry and that it wont go anywhere by several people who know what they are talking about. but he cant help but to worry because of the whole what's your's is mine deal, meaning my assets would become his etc, which i have more of. since we couldnt cancel the wedding we talked to the priest and he said it was okay to do the ceremony but not sign a legal document and that it would be perfectly fine to wait to the issue blows over. however the wedding is saturday and i am totally flipping out about this. i am worried guests will find out. i am in need of a little advice
Posted by squeegy07[/QUOTE]

JIC

tidetravel

You do realize that stuff like that can drag out for years, right?  IMO - that's not enough of an issue to cancel the marriage.  Get married and support your husband in his fight.  If a judge decides he's at fault, then the both of you will suffer the consequences of his actions, but, that's kind of what marriage is about. 

SwedishChick2011

it's looking like a possible offense. and believe me when i say that the guy who is causing the problem is just looking for money, but to win the lawsuit he needs to successfully press charges because his case is so weak. this guy and my FI were friends, until they decided to horseplay at work. the guy ended up with stitches and work covered it...well then he went on to claim more, then sue the company, and is now looking to go after my FI. well he has lost the previous suit, is being investigated by workman's comp for fraud, and the cop who is in charge is laughing at the guy.  but on the off chance that he is able to do anything it would be assets in the melting pot as well

It wouldn't let me use the quote feature for some reason.  I'd get actual legal advice on this if I were you.  A lawyer (in the correct field) should be able to tell you if this could be an issue for you or not. 

Nebb

Im pretty certain this is one of those people who thinks this is a blog and isnt coming back...

AlexiaANDRobert

I can't even see her 2nd post.

goheels05

I thought this sounded familiar.

Yeah, bite the bullet and talk to a lawyer.

SwedishChick2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_license-panic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1678c6cf-28c9-4add-9178-c1244e657a47Post:08df3b04-c8b1-4d29-9ce0-78cff771bed3">Re: license panic</a>:
[QUOTE]Im pretty certain this is one of those people who thinks this is a blog and isnt coming back...
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
She posted something else and then must have deleted it.  I quoted it in one of my posts though.

danieliza1127

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_license-panic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1678c6cf-28c9-4add-9178-c1244e657a47Post:e92e2c05-5932-4a34-a604-d7cc4184e20a">Re: license panic</a>:
[QUOTE]it's looking like a possible offense. and believe me when i say that the guy who is causing the problem is just looking for money, but to win the lawsuit he needs to successfully press charges because his case is so weak. this guy and my FI were friends, until they decided to horseplay at work. the guy ended up with stitches and work covered it...well then he went on to claim more, then sue the company, and is now looking to go after my FI. well he has lost the previous suit, is being investigated by workman's comp for fraud, and the cop who is in charge is laughing at the guy.  but on the off chance that he is able to do anything it would be assets in the melting pot as well It wouldn't let me use the quote feature for some reason.  I'd get actual legal advice on this if I were you.  A lawyer (in the correct field) should be able to tell you if this could be an issue for you or not. 
Posted by cocoreo3[/QUOTE]

It looks like she posted that and then deleted it.

Anyway, that being the case, I would still go through the with the real wedding and sign the paperwork and all.  If you are getting married, it means you're prepared to weather these types of storms together, not bail if you might get dragged into it to.  And if this other guy really has no case, then you shouldn't have anything to be worried about anyway.

Stackeye210

I think she deleted it Alexia - I just read what coco copied. 

I hardly think this is any issue to stop a marriage over.  It seems frivolous and nobody will take him serious.  AND if they do - how much would they really make your FI pay?  I wouldn't guess over a few grand.  Nothing that is going to freeze assets or put a lien on things. 

lyndausvi

just get married.  This all happened before you get married, so I'm not sure they can hold you responsible financially.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_license-panic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1678c6cf-28c9-4add-9178-c1244e657a47Post:b7e96b54-d4b4-4034-a73e-232ad9c3325f">Re: license panic</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: license panic : It looks like she posted that and then deleted it. Anyway, that being the case, I would still go through the with the real wedding and sign the paperwork and all. <strong> If you are getting married, it means you're prepared to weather these types of storms together, not bail if you might get dragged into it to.</strong>  And if this other guy really has no case, then you shouldn't have anything to be worried about anyway.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

Read this.  Then read it again.  Because Dani said it better than I could.

janedoe1113a

Yea, I would just go through with the wedding and actually get married.

Nebb

Marriage is a risk like that, it could happen right now or happen 10 years from now. You cant forsee that kind of stuff happening, you can only support eachother.

squeegy07

thanks ladies!

tlv204

If you really don't want to help him out if he ends up needing the help, a prenup would probably keep your stuff separate. Ditto on consulting a lawyer.

ETA: I sound like an idiot in this post. I promise I know more than just "keep your stuff separate."

squirrly

Lawyer & a prenup.  ASAP.

J&K10910

Or a post nup.  Since the wedding is in less than a week.