What should we do?

devandme

FH and I are not one bit religous. We're having a judge marry us and it'll be a five second ceremony. (Do you? I do. Do you? I do. The legal bare minium.) Our original plan was to have the judge come to our reception site and marry us in front of everyone. Now, I don't think it's worth it. I'm sure some people in our guest list will have a problem because they're religous, but I think they'd have a problem anyway. I want our parents and bridal party at the court house, witnessing us get married. I need opinions, please. TIA!

ElleB87

You'll have to check with your state laws to confirm but normally the officiant can perform the ceremony wherever you want or your family is welcome at the courthouse. It's totally up to you what you want to do.

kateguess22

Hi Devandme!
You and your fiance need to get married in the way that you truly believe that you are meant to get married. Anyone who is invited to share in your special day is given a true gift to be included. It's a wedding- we all know that every bride and groom feels judged or fear of being judged at one point or another in the planning process- so we all just need to remember that it is our wedding hence why we are making choices that are right for us. What anyone else thinks is actually irrelevant. I believe in treating your guests at your wedding as wonderfully as possible and hoping that everyone will wish you well- and if anyone judges you then that says more about them than about you.
Choose the route that appeals most to you and your fiance. Don't let what others may think influence your decision.

TiffannieF

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_should-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:101bda72-d03b-48f3-9ec3-66f51aa7eac4Post:73f32af8-b5eb-4c84-8039-ce252c802724">Re: What should we do?</a>:
[QUOTE]You can do whatever you wish.  You can have a private ceremony in the courthouse with your parents and a small bridal party, and follow it up with a large reception.  You could also have the judge come to your reception site and marry you there.  Either way, it is fine.  Do check with the courthouse to see if there are limits on how many persons can be present at the ceremony. For what it's worth, I am religious, and civil ceremonies are fine with me.  The only people who might have a problem with it would be close relatives if they are Catholic, since the Catholic church will not recognize your marriage.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

This

kmmssg

I am also religious and I would far rather see you get married the way you want to than to "fake it" for religious relatiives.  You can certainly get married at the reception site if the judge is good to go.  Your ceremony is one time when it just needs to be what the two of you want.  It sounds like it would also be a lot more convenient for you too!

Jamilynn627

Ditto pps. Do whatever you like. If you want a private ceremony, you're certainly entitled to that. If you think you'd like to do it in front of all your friends and family, maybe your religious guests won't mind as much as you think.

VeggieLove1022

We're not religious at all and had a short, sweet, to-the-point ceremony that lasted a few minutes I can pm you the exact layout of how everything was said if you'd like.

Jess Soon2B Miller

I just heard a really neat and sweet story oddly enough.  A couple in ATL wanted to marry on 11-11-11 at the courthouse; however courts were closed.  The Judge came to their home and wed them in front of a small party.  I believe the officiant(s), depending on your state and availability, can marry where you see fit.  Good luck!

blissful2386

Another option would be to pick a nice site that you were thinking about getting pictures done at anyways then that way it is the mix between full on ceremony and courthouse and advise your guests that it is what it is and they can decide to come or not...

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_should-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:101bda72-d03b-48f3-9ec3-66f51aa7eac4Post:899cc613-84fd-48fd-aa55-163cca11bc1c">What should we do?</a>:
[QUOTE]FH and I are not one bit religous. We're having a judge marry us and it'll be a five second ceremony. (Do you? I do. Do you? I do. The legal bare minium.) Our original plan was to have the judge come to our reception site and marry us in front of everyone. Now, I don't think it's worth it. <strong><font color="#000080">I'm sure some people in our guest list will have a problem because they're religous, but I think they'd have a problem anyway.</font></strong> I want our parents and bridal party at the court house, witnessing us get married. I need opinions, please. TIA!
Posted by devandme[/QUOTE]

Your plan of a judge officiating at the reception site sounds great -- keeping everything in one place makes it easy on you and your guests.  I don't get the part about people having a problem because they're religious.  You know your guests best, but I certainly wouldn't have a problem with a friend's choice.  I'd simply be delighted I was chosen to help celebrate the occasion.

As background, I am somewhat religious, my husband is not. Both of us were raised Catholic; I still attend Mass. Our wedding ceremony was performed by my cousin, an ordained Protestant minister, at a secular venue (historic inn). We had Catholics, Protestants (all variations) and atheists attend. No issues.