Invite grooms aunts/cousins to bridal shower?

soon2baligo

My fiance's mom lives in LA and his dad's side of the family live in NJ.  I've only met them a few times, but they are the only family he has...long story.  It's a 3.5 hour drive from where they are in NJ to where the shower will be held in PA and I don't know if I should invite them.  My fiance doesn't know/care either way and my MoH thinks I should invite them.  Does anyone have any advice for me on this?  Thanks a lot!!

salt78

The shower is really for the people that you are the closest to that are invited to the wedding. If you really have no idea who these people are and your FI doesn't care about it, then I wouldn't invite them.

CCBelle

My rule of them is to invite the women on your guest list that are close to the bride AND who would have to drive an hour or so (or less) to the shower venue.  3.5 hours is a hell of a drive.

lyndausvi

Both DH's and my aunts/cousins would be disappointed not getting a shower invite.  3.5 hours is pushing it, but that was the same distance my IL had to drive and they were thrilled to attend.

I really do not know what to tell you since you do not know the dynamics of the family.  I just know the dynamics of our families and inviting them was not even questioned..

[Deleted User]

I would invite them for sure.  4 hours isn't impossible, they could all carpool and make a day trip out of it if they really want to attend.  You never know if they are looking forward to this or if they would be disappointed not to be invited.  I'd play it safe and give them an invitation, if nothing else make them feel included (since they'll be your family after all).  I'm sure they'd appreciate the gesture.

tenofcups4me

I'd ask his family what they think. In some families, it would be really insulting to not be invited (mine for example), but apparently in others, there are people who would perceive an invitation as a requst for gifts. Your FH should discuss it with his father and see what his thoughts are.

FWIW, when I got married the first time, we did invite the ex's aunt and cousin even though both were about three hours away and both attended. We also invited his sister, who lived many hours away, and a cousin of mine who lived several hours away, because they both would have been very hurt to not be invited. Neither attended and we didn't expect them to, but both sent generous gifts.

JanoBean75

I've been invited to a ton of showers out of my state. I decline of course, because I'm not flying to Florida twice. But it's nice to be invited.

ggmae

It's really up to you. I invited DH's aunt, cousins, and grandmother who are 7 hours away, but I did so because I wanted them to feel included. I knew that they wouldn't be able to make it (though MIL and SIL traveled the distance to come), but I didn't want them to think that I had forgotten about them. I am not particularly close with them, but I knew they would appreciate it.

That being said, I'd invite his aunt and cousins.

CTGirl30

I live on the east coast and FI's immediate family (mom, sister, etc) live on the west coast. Even though I know they will not be able to attend the shower due to the logistics, they will still be getting shower invitations b/c I'd rather include them rather than have any hurt feelings wondering why they didn't hear about / recieve an invite.

When it comes to family dynamics, better to err on the side of iinclusion, I think.

sucrets4

If it's the only shower, then yes, I would invite them.

In my circle, it's pretty common to invite all female family members (aunts, cousins, not like 3rd cousins or anything) regardless of the how close you are to them.

laladypoet

not if you like them, no.

tinkerbell.katie81

In my family, if you are female and invited to the wedding, you get invited to the shower. But each family is different...some might feel left out if they aren't invited, others wouldn't care. It's up to you, but I'd invite them. If they don't want to come, they can always decline.

MyNameIsNot

I wouldn't.  You should probably ask his mother what she thinks.  She'll know the family norm.