should you still send a STD and Inviation to someone who has said they can't make it?

jdlara

A friend of mine who I was planning to invite to our wedding, and who lives overseas in NZ, asked early about our wedding date.  I told her the date as soon as we had one, and she told me that unfortunately she won't be able to make it due to her work schedule. I told her to keep me updated should things change.  Should I still send this woman a save the date and invitation?  I wouldn't question it if she was stateside but it is going to be costly to send to NZ and we are 99% sure she can't come anyway...I just didn't want to breech any etiquette.

thanks!

J&K10910

I would personally send one to her anyway.  At least an invite, you can probably skip the STD.  I don't know a ton about internation postage, but is it REALLY that expensive?  I think to me, sending an invite to a good friend would be worth a few extra dollars, just in case something changes.

hlq2011

Yup, send one anyway.  You never know; their plans or situation could change.

I wouldn't worry about the save-the-date, though.

baystateapple

I would.  I'm sure she'd love to receive both and know that you wanted her there, even if she can't make it.

nurse.misty

Yes still send the invitation. I went to Australia a few years ago and mailed postcards from there to my friends and family here. It really wasn't too exepensive. I don't remember exactly, but it was less than $1 each I believe.

achiduck

I would still send her an invite. Even so she told you she can't make it, things change. She may also be a "scrapper" or want one just for senitmental reasons.

I'd skip the STD though.

Audrey&Austin

I think you could skip the save the date but go ahead and send the actual invitation. Plans change, she might be able to rearrange her schedule. You never know this far out.

thesequel

Definitely still send it.  Things may change.  They did for me 3 years ago when the 6 months between the STD and the invitation were sent.  

Life happens and schedules open up unexpectedly.  

jdlara

Thanks for all the great advice! I think i'll still send both, just so I'm covered. I was more worried that i'd be rubbing it in she couldn't make it.  Thanks again.

[Deleted User]

Its nice to feel included even if you can't come