Wedding Etiquette Forum

Distance between Ceremony and Reception Sites

I found the church I love, and the reception venue I love, and they are an hour away from each other. 

How awful would it be to ask people to drive an hour to the reception?  I am thinking it is pretty awful and terrible and no one would agree to it.  I am pretty sure the church's tiny parking lot would not allow for people to leave their cars there so I could rent a bus (or 2) to transport everyone to the reception site and back (which I thought might be a more gracious way of handling the situation, rather than asking guests to drive so far in their own cars).

So, please tell me I am insane for even thinking that would be ok, or normal for wanting to be married at an amazing church AND received at an amazing castle. 

For the record, here are the two sites:
1)  Church -  http://www.chisagolakelutheranchurch.org/ - this is the church from Grumpy Old Men (and FI's mother is buried on the cemetary hill behind the church so this is a special place)
2) Reception - http://www.americanswedishinst.org/ASI/Home.html - an actual castle which is beautiful inside and out

Thanks ladies!

Re: Distance between Ceremony and Reception Sites

  • I think you should choose which of those is more important to you, and find another venue for the other. Since it seems like it's the church that has special meaning, I would go with the church, and find another place for the reception.

    I'm sorry, but I do think an hour drive is too much to ask of people. It could also create logistical issues. 
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  • Sorry, I think you need to choose which one is more important to you, and then move either the ceremony or the reception closer.

     I am going to a wedding this summer where the ceremony and reception are 40 minutes apart and I am really not pleased about it. I'm local, so I can only imagine that the OOT guests who will have already traveled are even more annoyed. 
  • I wouldn't ask people to drive more then 30 mins
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  • If I were a guest, I would probably skip either the ceremony or reception. I wouldn't want to drive or take a bus for an hour to get to the reception. I agree with PP about finding a closer reception venue.
  • I think they are both beautiful but I definitely agree with PPs that you should choose one that is more important to you and move the other site closer. I attended a wedding once where the ceremony and reception were a 30 min drive apart and I found that a bit inconvienient already, so an hour is definitely too much. I'm sure there's somthing else you can find! Good luck!
    So happy to be married to my best friend.
  • Where is the reception in regards to where most people live?

    I ask because if the ceremony was close and the reception was an hour away I would be annoyed.

    Now if the ceremony was the one far and the reception was close to where I lived I would not have much of a problem because I would have to back that way anyway.  KWIW?


    If the ceremony is the one far from where most people live you might have to deal with people not coming to the ceremony.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • People have posted polls on this subject before, and I remember 30 minutes is what most people chose as the farthest they would be willing to drive.
    Abigail Rose, EDD 6/8/13 BabyFetus Ticker

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  • I wouldn't drive that far to the reception unless I drove from out of town and would have to drive by there on my way home again.
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  • Too far for me, unless I was already going that direction to go home anyway.

  • An hour is too far.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • My reception site is an hr away from our Chuch, but when we had originally booked we had planned to get married at our reception site. FIs parents wanted to see one of their boys get married in their local parish & never expressed this to us directly, but once I heard that they had felt this way I confronted them & told them if it was something they would like I would be happy to accomodate it! So its not the ideal situation, but my parents are excited because the reception hall is closer to them, so its a happy medium in the end :)

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  • I kinda figured it was a longshot, but I'm ok with letting one of the sites go.

    I want the church because it's close to FI's mom, and also because the church tower overlooks their house.  So every time we visited, we would be reminded of our special day (and the men could get ready at the house, which would be an easy home base for the wedding party and esp if we forgot something).

    I just wanted the castle because I thought it would be awesome to get married in a castle.  They offer ceremonies as well as receptions but FI wants to get married in a church so we might be SOL on the castle.

    Hrm decisions...thank you for your feedback!
  • meep2meep2 member
    100 Comments
    I can see how you might be set on having your reception on a site that has Victor Borge on their website. That can make me fall in love with a shack.

    I'd still go with the church, though. It has more meaning for you, and if you look at the pictures from the castle once you're inside there isn't all that much special that says "I'm in a castle." It's nice, but the pictures look very much like a standard reception hall; after all, it used to be a mansion, not a real castle. Are you willing to give up FI's mother for a few pictures with a turret?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_distance-between-ceremony-reception-sites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1ba58903-f2f5-4613-bf7a-ee57d3cf8129Post:26fe2843-d408-4d32-bf90-ccf7cb3cc806">Re: Distance between Ceremony and Reception Sites</a>:
    [QUOTE]If I were a guest, I would probably skip either the ceremony or reception. I wouldn't want to drive or take a bus for an hour to get to the reception. I agree with PP about finding a closer reception venue.
    Posted by Cony&Ben[/QUOTE]

    Completely off-topic but I lurve your siggy pic. Makes me want to leave work and go play with my yorkie and his muttly sister in our backyard!
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  • My church and ceremony are 30-40 minutes away from each other and no one has complained at all.   It's your day and you should do whatever you want.
  • I think an hour is too long... my venues are 35 minutes apart and I know that is totally pushing it. 
  • I am in a similar situation. I grew up in a beautiful, historic church in a small town where there is not a single hotel or a possible reception venue that doesn't look like a gym. I almost compromised and gave up the church.

    My reception venue is a beautiful golf resort forty minutes away.  My heart was breaking trying to decide on an alternate ceremony. That is the most meaningful part and I say don't compromise.  Our reception site has ample guest rooms for out of town guests.  We decided to provide charter bus transportation round trip from the resort to the ceremony and then back to the resort again for the reception.  A little untraditional but I feel blissful now that we've worked it out - which is how a bride should feel.

    It creates some logistical concerns - two separate florist, ridiculous photography fees because of the travel time, and choosing proper wording on the insert. But its your day!  You have to work out the logistics and see what you can do to try not to inconvenience your guests but you should have what you want.  They might not mind the distance if you provide transportation - especially if they get to experience a unique reception at the castle.  

    I think it can be done. But it relies heavily on your budget - how much extra are you willing to spend on logistics. And then, do you think its worth it.  Good luck! :)
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