At this point, we're beginning the planning, and coming up with a budget. MY FI and I came up with one master guest list, which almost totals 200 people. Since I have a feeling that we'll be paying for the wedding ourselves, there's no way we can afford to invite this many people, so I'm looking to trim it down. A few questions:
If I allow +1 for some, do I have to allow +1 for all? Of course I am inviting my famiy and friend's significant others/husbands if they have them, but at the current time, I'm allowing my single friends and family bring a date. If I cut here, is it appropriate to allow +1 for some but not others? For example, my MOH is currently single, but I'd allow her to bring a date as opposed to my 19 year old cousin from OOT?
My FI does not have a relationship with his half sisters. He has written them off completely, and therefore does not want to invite them. However, he wants to invite his nephews (middle school and high school aged kids), that are the children of his half sisters. He hasn't seen his nephews in years, and I have a feeling he's only inviting them as a "jab" at his sisters (he made a comment about it). I'm not sure how I feel about doing this, I feel it's rude to invite the kids and not his sisters, but I don't want to be a bridezilla and dictate who he invites and doesn't. My thoughts would be that if he doesn't invite his sisters, he doesn't invite the kids either.
Also, I have a larger family and a lot more close friends than my FI. My FI wants to invite family from his step-mother's side, which is fine (evens out my family and his), however he has friends he wants to invite that he never talks to, and never sees. I have a lot of close friends that I want to invite (most are married or in a serious relationship), and have left off other friends that I don't talk to all of the time (even though I'd love to invite). Again, I don't want to be a bridezilla, but since we need to cut the list down, I think it should be kept to just close friends and family, and some of his friends that he doesn't talk to should be left off (or moved to a B list).
Last thing! How do you handle close friends of parents?
(side note: we haven't officially set a date, but looking at May 2013, so I'm aware we have plenty of time and things/relationships/people change, but I'm just very type A and like to have myself organized ahead of time!)