Invitation/ Registry ettiquette

egrinnan430

My Mom and I have been discussing if we should list the places we are registered at, on the hotel/ direction cards that will be included with the invitations.

My Mom's reasoning behind it is that people may just go to any store on their way to the wedding and pick something up if they don't know where you are registered.  And that by just listing the wedding website on the card- it won't be enough, because most people won't even look at the website.

I agree with her, but I had already decided it was kind of tacky?  But I guess it is a general consensus that people bring gifts to a wedding.

Any suggestions?  What do you think would work best?

Lisa8888

It is tacky and poor etiquette to include registry info.  That is a big No No.

vsgal

Do not list anything concerning your registry anywhere in the invite packet.    It is horribly rude.  Just put your website and trust that people will go there. Your wedding is not the first for most people and they will know that you are registered.  They will ask you or ask someone in the family. They don't need a mention in your formal invite to bring you a gift.

quotequeen

Absolutely not.

kristinanddan

It's not kind of tacky - it's completely tacky.

AdeleDazeem

Surely not everyone buys a gift on their way to your wedding - unless you invited a large group of procrastinators.  And, if they did, you'd think they could at least take a moment to look up where you were registered instead of you, yourself, needing to resort to poor etiquette.

banana468

It's not that it's "tacky".  It's that it's also really rude and not appropriate etiquette.

You shouldn't presume that your guests will be bringing gifts even though giving a gift is something gifts often do.

andy71781

Don't do it - your registry information should stay totally off of your invitations.  Your guests will figure out where you are registered by your website, google, or word of mouth.  If they don't know they'll ask!

carrieoz_76

I'm a ginormous procrastinator, and even I at least search the Macy's, Target and BB&B registries before I go to the store ... on my way to the wedding. 

Anyways, they can ask you or your parents, do a little internet sleuthing, or just give you money, so please don't include the registry info in your invitation.

stephdonjon

Yeah, worst case scenario they buy you something and you take it back. Inconvenient for you? Perhaps. But far less detrimental than coming off as gift-greedy on your invites.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Don't worry - people who don't list their registries on the invitation still have plenty of guests buy off the registry. 

Kristin789

>>Do not list anything concerning your registry anywhere in the invite packet.    It is horribly rude.

Yeah.  That.

HisCB

i have seen it done, and i didnt think it was rude, never thought that the couple was gift grabby. (except one baby shower invite i got that litsted like 4 registries, and even said one of the "games" was going to be a raffle, for different size boxes of diapers you bring, the more raffle tickets you get, for the prize uhg) 

the majority opinion is (obviously) that is rude to mention gifts on the invite (unless its "no gifts"). but the thing is, people know you are human, and know humans like gifts and everyone knows its appropriate to bring or send gifts for a wedding.

seriously i dont think that its all that common to ask about registry info, or count on word of mouth, that may be the proper ettiquitte but the people who know most about wedding ettiquitte are people planning weddings, and that is a very small % of your guests. (and those who may also be upcoming or recently married, probably understand how it feels to want items from the registry)

there are just too many stores to check one by one for the registry. and wedding websites are so new, that a lot of people wont think to check them, especially if they havent been to many weddings in the last few years.

another option is you can do a seperate card for the registry info and only include it in some of the invites, for the guests who you know wont think its tacky. (i am going to do this, along with direction cards wont be included in everyone's invite because a lot of people know where we live)

i dont know which knottie it was but she stated that after polling her friends, they all said it was annoying to have to track down which registry to shop from. and would rather it just be included in the invite.

the people who spend a lot of time on wedding blogs and boards, or time thinking about weddings have stronger opinions than the general public, imo. so poll a few friends and close family to see what they think. (this is a great way to start the "grapevine" too if you decide not to include the info)

megandjay

No!

banana468

HisCB, I don't think it's jut people on TK that feel that way.  I had that opinion before I came here.


And my mother and older relatives never logged onto these boards but when a cousin's invitation came with registry info attached, you can bet that the women in the family talked about how tacky they thought it was.

glam70s

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_invitation-registry-ettiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c379870-c29c-42fb-945a-bf0bd5c58b6bPost:f774c94d-b26c-4657-aef4-cae3d5158594">Re: Invitation/ Registry ettiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]HisCB, I don't think it's jut people on TK that feel that way.  I had that opinion before I came here. And my mother and older relatives never logged onto these boards but when a cousin's invitation came with registry info attached, you can bet that the women in the family talked about how tacky they thought it was.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

I think this is similar to the honeymoon registry fiasco. I've just spent the last 2 weeks explaining to my mother, MIL, fiance, and all of my aunts that registry info is not supposed to be included on the invite and that in many places it's considered very rude to do so.

I think it really depends on the area you live in and the people you know. I've never seen a wedding invite that did NOT include the information on a separate card, and evidently nobody I know has either. I still haven't decided what I'm going to do, but just like honeymoon registries and most other etiquette rules, what is and is not acceptable varies from group to group.

I've also heard the argument that people who think these things are okay must be uncultured people of questionable background, which is total bunk. My FI and I come from advantaged families, and they can't comprehend why you would not put registry info with the invite.