the guest list

starchyld77

I am running into some toruble... I feel that with my fiance's mother (love her to pieces) and her husband cateringthe wedding that they are going to already want to add to our already extensive guest list... I am looking at at venues and I am hesitant on booking one due to this factor. How do I approach this delicately because I do not want a huge wedding because that would really hinder us as far as our finances go... HELP!

s-aries8990

Ditto sparkly. You physically can't invite more people  because you'll break fire code. Get a smaller venue with limited space and have it indoors - if you have an outdoor wedding there's more wiggle room, which it seems like you don't want in this situation! lol

jlm9113

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_the-guest-list-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c3ef6c0-17a9-4894-84f3-e24f89d979e7Post:223b3083-9d88-494d-94e2-3631a5a63506">Re: the guest list</a>:
[QUOTE]If you book a venue that only holds, say, 100 people, they cannot invite people over that number even if they are catering. The venue capacity could be a nice way to set a firm limit on the guest list.
Posted by KindaSparkly[/QUOTE]


I agree that it's a good way to limit the guest list.  The only potential problem I see down the line is if, the venue can only hold 100, and FMIL wants to invite, say, 70 people, she could try to insist that the OP makes cuts in the rest of the guest list.  I think FMIL would be absurd in that instance, but since she and her husband are catering, it brings the whole 'no pay, no say' line into it.  And that could just end up being a huge battle.

OP, my venue can hold up to 450 people and includes chairs/tables/linens/etc. in the rental price.  If you can find something like that (so that you're not stuck footing the bill for FMIL's bazillion guests) and she's paying for the catering anyway (that's been, I've found, the biggest cost next to alcohol) then you can accomodate her list, let her pay to feed them and no have to rent a ton of extra chairs/tables/linens.  Maybe?

starchyld77

Thank you everyone  My main gripe is FMIL trying to invite people that my fiance and I do not know very well of who have not been a part of our life together. We are scouting out venues and things of the such and I want an outdoor wedding partly due to me not wanting to feel enclosed (I am a bit of a free spiriit and a touch claustrophobic)... As far as the catering goes his parents have friends who own local wineries and breweries here and we know them as well and they toldmy fiance to let them know when the time comes and they will be there with a full stock to make sure the reception goes on... If we cannot find an outdoor wedding then there are a few places here where I live who allow for outside caterers to come in and those spots can accommodate for up to 500 people... I would prefer the outdoor wedding but we do have a back up plan if need be. I just do not want to be uncomfortable on my wedding day seeing a lot of people who I do not know very well or at all focusing their attention on me...