A tricky situation

missy68

I doubt I'd say anything to her, because my jaw would visibly be on the floor. What a shitty reason for not inviting someone. I believe there'd be some declining going on for my part, even as MOH.

I'm floored by the reasoning - or lack thereof - that would make the bride or her mother think this is an acceptable way to "approve" people for a guest list.

HockeyFan4

were you invited with a +1?  I would just bring your ex FI as your guest

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_tricky-situation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1cb194d9-02a5-4265-b444-331e6299e363Post:6a72c1fe-c082-4be5-8777-7dcdc731c542">Re: A tricky situation</a>:
[QUOTE]I would reconider my friendship/MOH-ship with this person. Reading that made me feel physically ill, and I don't even know the people in question. If you're close enough to be her MOH, I think it would be smart to level with her and give her your honest reaction. I tend to err on the side of putting EVERYTHING out there, so I might honestly say something like "Jane, I really need to let you know that I was shocked and disappointed when you said that you weren't inviting John because you didn't think he'd bring a gift. This doesn't sound like the Jane that I know, and I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around inviting people based on what gift they would get you. Would you demote me from being your MOH if I lost my job and couldn't afford to buy you a gift?" If this doesn't reality-check her, I'd consider bowing out. If she's doing this to him, what'll stop her from doing this to you? IMO, <strong>silence implies agreement, or at least neutrality.</strong> I wouldn't be able to keep myself from saying something.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

I gotta agree with Poli. Mel said it well too. This is your best friend. If you can't be honest with her about what a diick she's being, then what's the point of being friends with her?

Your silences lets her know that you either agree with her reasoning or are at least iniferent to it, when obviously you're not. I would use Poli's wording exactly and if that's not enought to make your friend realize what a biitch she's being  I would most definitely be rethinking this whole MOH thing.

I agree with TR, I wouldn't bring a gift, and if a bunch of friends are going in on a gift I would suggest the smallest thing on her registry "from all of us" if all of them are just as upset as you are. I'm kind of petty like that too.

To the girls that said she shouldn't say something to the guy about not being invited, what if it comes out that she knew all along, but played (just like the bride is) that he was? Would he be just as upset by that? Just honestly curious.