Bustle or train-ectomy?

sarah0725

So I went wedding dress browsing today at David's Bridal, because I decided that before I commit to having my FMIL make me a dress, I should actually go to stores and look at some things to make sure I can't find anything I like. What I discovered, to my surprise, is that I like allover lace overlays much more than I thought I would, and A-line dresses, and V-necks with a low back. Interesting.

Anyway, I'm now back to my old dilemma, which is that I powerfully do not want my dress to have a train, and pretty much every dress being sold in a regular bridal shop these days has a train. If you were me, do you think I should be spending more time researching how bustles work, or talking to seamstresses about removing a train from a dress entirely? Anecdotes from your own experience would be great here.

Nebb

I voted bustle, only because they can look really interesting back there. I think it honestly depends on the dress, what the detail is like and what you are most comfortable with. I would also find out what would cost more (im assuming trainectomy would cost more).

[Deleted User]

I had the same problem. I hate trains. I found a dress that I loved, but it had a god awful Princess Di train. David's won't remove the train, so I am having it done elsewhere. In fact, it's being done as we speak!

lauralaur

I accidentally voted for the wrong thing. I would just bustle it. Could you order it without a train? If not, I would worry that cutting it off somehow would screw with the pattern of the lace.

sarah0725

It might help that the trainectomy could potentially be free, because I bet I could get my seamstress FMIL to do it.

julezlee

I voted for the purple option, which, to me = short dress

sarah0725

I've thought about a short dress, and I love them, but I also think about the fact that this is going to be my only chance in life to dress up like a princess. It's kind of hard to resist.

julezlee

Are there any pictures from this shopping trip?  Or even links to dresses you liked?

squirrly

I say bustle.  If you find a dress that just can't be bustled properly to be pretty, then sure - shorten that train.  BUT - what if you changed your mind?  Or, what if you wanted to sell your dress after?  Or if your daughter wanted to wear it someday?  The bustle is a much more versitile way to accomplish the same goal, I feel like.

Ultimately, though, honor yourself and find a dress in which you feel beautiful.  (Suggestion - look at bridesmaids dresses in white.  No train!)

sarahmk5

I voted bustle, because they can look really nice.  But, honestly, if you hate the way it looks so much, just get it chopped off.

ricksang

Do what makes you happiest!

[Deleted User]

Does the purple monkey dishwasher throw poop? Cause if so, I'm changing my answer.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bustle-train-ectomy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d5ab1fa-1fee-4924-ac6e-8b97900108a9Post:993c98ad-f9c0-4738-8803-4d0eb52c1710">Re: Bustle or train-ectomy?</a>:
[QUOTE]I accidentally voted for the wrong thing. I would just bustle it. Could you order it without a train? If not, I would worry that cutting it off somehow would screw with the pattern of the lace.
Posted by lauralaur[/QUOTE]
Not necessarily. I had to have over 1/2 a foot cut off my dress because im so short, and you couldnt tell at all that anything had been done to the lace - it was a full over lay with lots of lace design on it and it looked perfect. If the seamstress is good they can do it.

ggmae

I didn't think that I wanted a train either, but the train of my dress is what pushed me to choose it. I really loved it! The seamstress had made a nice bustle, but my maitre'd fuucked it up on wedding day and it looked like crap. But, I still liked the idea of it.

I voted bustle.

Moneypenny424

Some bustles look nice, but I wouldn't have wanted the dress to look like that the whole time (meaning that I like to see the true "flow" of the dress).  I vote for trainectomy since you are anti-train.

Catwoman708

If you buy a dress with a lace overlay, it's much easier to bustle it.  If the train consists of only the lace overlay, then it's lightweight, and could probably be bustled with only one hook and eye.

If you remove the train or have to hem a dress with lace overlay, you have to first hem the dress (if it needs it), then take the trim off the overlay, hem the overlay, then sew the trim back on.  So you essentially have to trim the two layers, and get them fairly even.  It's not hard for someone that sews, but it's very tedious.  (We had to do that for my daughter's dress, which had a lace overlay).

But if your FMIL is your seamstress, she could probalby do this fairly easily.  The hardest part for you will be standing around in your dress and wedding shoes for the fittings, so she can get the length just right.

If your FMIL makes the dress, then she can just make it without the train, that would be the simplest way.

thesuninherhead

If you don't want a train at all, have it removed.

AND, can I just say that I'm super-glad that you went to try on dresses rather than deciding to have one made straight up. I made the mistake of having one made having hardly tried anything, thinking that I knew my body and what looked good etc- only to find that what I wanted did not suit me as I thought it would. Nightmare- and thankfully my FMIL wasn't the one making it, or I'd probably have been stuck wearing it!

 

I say shop around some more. At the place where I ordered the gown that I didn't end up receiving, I ordered it to be custom-made such that the train would be shorter. You could probably arrange a similar thing with many dresses, if you aren't purchasing a sample.

sarah0725

For those who are interested, I put a couple of pics in my bio of what I tried on today:
http://sarahandcharlie.weebly.com/first-dress-trial.html

Sun, that's exactly why I decided to go and try some things on, and why I was worried. I definitely wouldn't want to have FMIL make me a dress, and then have it turn out to be a disaster for whatever reason. Also, I definitely learned some things today, which is that I ended up liking dresses that I wasn't expecting to like at all. I'm really glad about this.

Do any of you married ladies have good or bad stories about how your bustle turned out on your wedding day? I've heard a lot of things about them breaking in the middle of the first dance or something like that.

thesuninherhead

Because I got the dress so late, I didn't even think about the bustle, which was somewhat tragic as the bottom of my dress was walked along a dirt road between the ceremony and reception, thus was literally black by the end of the night. Thankfully, it all came out in the drycleaning.

I think your idea re: a non-strapless lace gown with low back is a great one. I say keep shopping around and see what you come by.

Nebb

I have to admit I dont entirely like either of those on you, but youre right if part of the top one could be combined with part of the bottom it would look a lot better!

sarah0725

Yeah, I don't entirely like them either. I want to stay away from strapless in general because I think I tend to roll my shoulders forward with a strapless dress, but I kind of think I'm getting somewhere with the A-line. Turns out it actually is really flattering!

julezlee

I love the low back on the first one.  Very ooh la la. 

ZRex

I vote for the dress you're describing in your bio.  If that is what you really want, you'll find it!

tenofcups4me

Some dresses also have detachable trains. The gown I wore for my first wedding had one and it was perfect for me -- I had a cathedral length train for the ceremony (which I loved) and then just removed the whole thing for the reception since I don't usually care for bustles. They hemmed the gown itself so that there was just a touch of a sweep train on it once the regular train came off -- it kind of looked like the back of the first gown in your pics.

ExpatPumpkin

I voted purple.  Why don't you look at BM's dresses in ivory/campagne/white?  There are really beautiful styles, and they usually don't have trains.  Bonus that they're also less expensive since they're not "wedding" dresses...  Good luck

sarah0725

I thought about the bridesmaid dress idea for a while, but I think I'm really starting to like the idea of having a dress that's a bit more fancy, like with a lace overlay. A lot of the bridesmaids' dresses I've seen tend to be a lot plainer and less bride-y. If there are lacy bridesmaids' dresses out there and I don't know about them, however, I'd be happy to learn.

glam70s

Consider looking at dresses by Sincerity bridal.. A lot of their dresses have detachable trains - one I looked at was even velcroed on and you'd never know it.. It was very cool, and the dress under the train had all the same detailing, so it was still all fancy..

mocha beans

I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a trainectomy on my dress.  We're probably doing the ceremony outdoors, so it would probably be bustled, and the train right now is short and not may not be long enough to do a fancy bustle like I want.  The dress came with a one point bustle that's pretty blah looking.  I kinda like the look of trainless dresses too for some reason.  Or a very short barely longer than the front train.  I've got a pic in my bio from an old knottie who hacked her train off, and I loved it.

ExpatPumpkin

Have you looked at any of J. Crew's wedding dresses?  They may be too plain for what you're envisioning, but they do have trainless dresses:

http://www.jcrew.com/AST/Browse/WeddingParties/Wedding_Bride.jsp