Children and the reception

Jelenny

Alright.....if I had my way only the kids in the ceremony would be coming in part due to MY family....however the FI has some totally adorable kids that are well behaved on his side (3 total)...my side is split one part of my family is very considerate and they will be making sure the kids behave and what not, the other part well to put it nice they are monsters.

Their parents want to come to the wedding to party - which is FINE, but you can't leave your kids unattended!  The last wedding had fingers in the cake before the bride and groom even go to see it....Why bring the kids if you basically let them run around destroying things?

So how can I address that "well behaved, SUPERVISED children are welcome."

BTW I already nixed the chocolate foutain in preparation....

laurenclaire1386

There's no good way to do this. Either invite kids, or don't, but don't call anyone's parenting skills or style into question on your invite.

danieliza1127

You totally can't do that.  How rude.  Either invite kids or not, but there is no nice way to tell someone that they have rude kids and so can't come. 

If you want to know how to invite adults only, see the FAQ sticky post at the top of the board.

kikibaby

You can't say that.  If you're inviting kids, you just have to hope for the best and let the parents do their job.

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-reception-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d8093b8-7d72-46b0-8568-625cfc3b2724Post:802c357f-d67f-41ab-b171-08c4d2d49d24">Children and the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Alright.....if I had my way only the kids in the ceremony would be coming in part due to MY family....however the FI has some totally adorable kids that are well behaved on his side (3 total)...my side is split one part of my family is very considerate and they will be making sure the kids behave and what not, the other part well to put it nice they are monsters. Their parents want to come to the wedding to party - which is FINE, but you can't leave your kids unattended!  The last wedding had fingers in the cake before the bride and groom even go to see it....Why bring the kids if you basically let them run around destroying things? So <strong>how can I address that "well behaved, SUPERVISED children are welcome.</strong>" BTW I already nixed the chocolate foutain in preparation....
Posted by Jelenny[/QUOTE]

If I saw that, I'm pretty sure I'd put fingerprints in the cake myself. 

Jelenny

Thanks guys....I was 99% sure but kinda hoping for a glimmer of maybe I could out there.

I know funny funny....

Birdie1483

Do you have any friends or family willing to do gaurd duty until to you cut the cake??

Jelenny

possibly....

ah well roll with it i suppose FI wanted kids there (he SHOULD know better heard about my cousins wedding, and saw what happened when the topics of discussion made an appearance at my bros wedding....) 

lets just say it was an additional $200 JUST for the hotel room, not to mention stuff done at the hall....sigh

kelly&wayne

If you prepare for kids, you will be fine.  We will have about 8 kids at our reception, including my FI's 2 children.  I will be preparing activity bags for each of them, based on their ability level/interest.  I'll have some books to read for those who are old enough to be able to read, coloring/activity books, packages of crayons etc...  If they have something to keep them entertained they will be fine.

pinkpinot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-reception-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d8093b8-7d72-46b0-8568-625cfc3b2724Post:802c357f-d67f-41ab-b171-08c4d2d49d24">Children and the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Alright.....if I had my way only the kids in the ceremony would be coming in part due to MY family....however the FI has some totally adorable kids that are well behaved on his side (3 total)...my side is split one part of my family is very considerate and they will be making sure the kids behave and what not, the other part well to put it nice they are monsters. Their parents want to come to the wedding to party - which is FINE, but you can't leave your kids unattended!  The last wedding had fingers in the cake before the bride and groom even go to see it....Why bring the kids if you basically let them run around destroying things? So <strong>how can I address that "well behaved, SUPERVISED children are welcome."</strong> BTW I already nixed the chocolate foutain in preparation....
Posted by Jelenny[/QUOTE]

You know why that wouldn't work?  Because the parents of those children probably think they ARE well behaved. 

Jelenny

Well I have activity bags planned...

if anyone has suggestions on how to create activity bags or distract boys from ages 11-14 please HELP those are the problem kids

and YES at that age they should know right from wrong...

Mrs**D

we are going to have kids are our wedding and have some of the same concerns. But we are doing an outdoor very unformal wedding at our farm and are going to set up a play area near the ceremony site, so that parents can still hear/see their children while the ceremony goes on (because come on, no matter how quickly the ceremony goes by kids are going to be bored with that.) And yes, our junior bridesmaid, groomsmen, flower girl and ring bearer will probably go play too, but that's fine. We have it set up that our wedding party will be seated during the ceremony and my maid of honor has agreed to keep track of the kids so that they will be back in time for the recessional.

The play area will be in view from the reception as well, so they can play throughout that also and we will be setting up some children's tables and chairs, covering the tables in freezer paper and laying out crayons for them to decorate our "guest book" (table cloths are our guest book for the adults and the paper/crayons will be from the kiddos).

Yes, you would expect parents to keep their children in line no matter where they are, but that's not a realistic expectation at a wedding which is geared more towards adults. As a parent myself ( I have 3 kids) I know that if the kids get bored, all of their manners can easily go out the window and there isn't much that you can do.

If you are doing your wedding in a church, you could ask about a play area (like a nursery or something) for the children to go to during the ceremony and see if you could find a sitter to keep them in check.

Just remember that if you decide to invite children as well, bring something in for kids. They aren't all about dancing all night or day and drinking wine (at least I hope not! LOL!)

nda_roxybabe

Are you kidding?

11-14 year old boys are not going to want an activity bag most likely. They probably wont even want to come, theres not a lot you can do there.

Jelenny

oh no trust me....they will be there....

hence why the activity bags wont work for the biggest offenders - i already got phone calls to see if they would be allowed to come....

Birdie1483

How about finding a place where they can play video games? Maybe try to find out what they like to do in their free time at home and try to figure out a way to make that happen at the reception.

kebmtm071605

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_children-reception-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1d8093b8-7d72-46b0-8568-625cfc3b2724Post:8ade1dc6-74c9-4b79-a4eb-8c62d45fa9eb">Re: Children and the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I have activity bags planned... if anyone has suggestions on how to create activity bags or distract boys from ages 11-14 please HELP those are the problem kids and YES at that age they should know right from wrong...
Posted by Jelenny[/QUOTE]

WOW...at 11-14, it's absolutely sinful that they don't know how to behave.  I thought you were talking about toddlers and young children...i.e., under 6, and even 5/6 would be pushing it IMO.  I'm sorry that you have to deal with this.  It's sad that some people really don't know how to parent their children.

Cat24

I'm planning to pay a friends granddaughter to "babysit" at the B&B most people are staying at(small town) so that parents don't need to worry about their kids. The children are welcome to stay for as much of the reception as their parents wish, but having been a kid at weddings I know I'd usually rather be doing something else other then watching the grownups get drunk and dance like fools

There are video games set up in the livingroom at the B&B as well as just games and such so I think it should work out well.