Inviting the Pastor to the Reception?

Cindee07

I'm not sure what he etiquette is on this, are we supposed to invite the Pastor and his wife to the rehearsal dinner and the reception? Or just the reception? Or not at all? If we are supposed to, do we send the invite to the church, or his home? Not sure what to do..

[Deleted User]

Is he a paid vendor or do you actually attend church there?

We invited our priest and the deacon & his wife to both the RD and the reception.

achiduck

It's proper etiquette to invite the officiant and their spouse to the RD and the reception. Like a PP said, unless they're a family friend they'll likely bow out. Most weddings I've been to the officiant and their spouse came for just the dinner and speaches but left once the party got going.

I would send the invite to their house though, if you have that address. Otherwise I'd send it to the church.

[Deleted User]

We sent our Priest's invite to the church/rectory. For the Deacon and his wife, we sent it to their house.

midgetthemighty

I would get their home address and send it there. As people have already said, they generally either only stay for dinner/toasts or don't come to the reception at all. It is proper etiquette to give them the choice though.

MrsC102211

Yeah. I heard your supposed to but I don't really want my preist at our reception. My mom will probably make me invite him .

achiduck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_inviting-pastor-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1f5f6dd4-0c9f-4f32-985d-9e99663716c0Post:b619af4e-18da-4664-9241-cbd23d193c21">Re: Inviting the Pastor to the Reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah. I heard your supposed to <strong>but I don't really want my preist at our reception</strong>. My mom will probably make me invite him .
Posted by MrsC102211[/QUOTE]

I would agree with this if you really didn't know them/didn't really like them. I can see how it would be awkward but it's still proper etiquette to invite them. Also, where do you seat them? Will the other people at that table still feel free to talk about whatever or will they feel they have to "censor" themselves b/c of the officiant?

My pastor has been a family friend and has known my parents since before I was born. I have no quams about inviting him, but I'm not really sure where to put him. Maybe at the table with FI's SUPER religious aunt and uncle?

mica178

Proper etiquette is to invite the family pastor to the reception.  Often times, pastors/priests/rabbis/etc. are busy with other church/temple stuff, so they tend to turn down invitations or only attend for the dinner part.  However, the right thing to do is to invite him and his wife to both the RD and reception.

We invited my pastor to both, and he did not attend either.  The co-officiant was H's uncle, who attended both.  No one felt they needed to censure their behavior for Tio Felipe because 1. he's cool, 2. he was there to have fun too, and 3. we're adults, and the wedding wasn't a rave.  Most people of God are pretty out-going, it goes with the job.

FaithCaitlin

I wasn't planning on inviting my officiant (a pastor) to the RD. We don't know him and he is more of a "vendor" than anything.

I will ask him to stay for the wedding reception, if he'd like.

JCM10

We're inviting ours to the rehearsal dinner and reception. I don't see any reason to not have him there. If people need to censor themselves around our priest, I probably don't want to be seeing what they're doing anyway!

Cindee07

Thank you for all your suggestions, we did invite him, he is going to attend the reception to give a blessing, eat with us, and visit for a bit then leave. He is a paid vendor, but my soon to be sister n law attends his church.
Thank You..