Wedding Etiquette Forum

Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette

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Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette

  • JenO24JenO24 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited August 2010
    we're at around 11K (65 guests) and that is including honeymoon, rings, makeup & hair (DIY), and a little money from our parents
    imageAnniversary
  • Our budget is $30K, although it could inch up a few thousand after all is said and done.  I am paying for 1/2-2/3 of it.  My parents are making up the rest.  This does not include dress or honeymoon.

    Our wedding is in downtown Cincinnati (not quite as expensive as Boston, but not cheap).  A plated dinner with beer & wine (and some ice cream!) for 250-300 people. 

    It costs what it costs.  And we can afford it, so that's what it is.
  • I wish I lived in another area of the country. So jealous of the amount others spent. We were around $40k all included.
    *~allie~*

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_curious-very-not-proper-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b66b0e-bedd-43d6-9044-d0a69f578d61Post:3db76dd0-bd33-40d4-b58d-b4a9d5648a3c">Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette : Why can't people see the poll?  Did I do something wrong when I posted it?
    Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

    It's not you; it's me.

    Er, I mean, it's not you, it's the Knot.  The poll takes a second to come up.
  • pirategal03pirategal03 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited August 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_curious-very-not-proper-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b66b0e-bedd-43d6-9044-d0a69f578d61Post:3db76dd0-bd33-40d4-b58d-b4a9d5648a3c">Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette : Why can't people see the poll?  Did I do something wrong when I posted it?
    Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

    For me sometimes the poll just doesn't load.  Sometimes refreshing helps, sometimes it doesn't.


    Our budget is $20k, we're coming in a little under $15k if our RSVPs come back mainly "yes" (not including rings or honeymoon).  If many people can't come, it will just be less expensive.   We're serving brunch for ~250 and have an open limited bar. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_curious-very-not-proper-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b66b0e-bedd-43d6-9044-d0a69f578d61Post:9e91c24e-6757-4827-b6b9-7da4fa64f4f4">Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE] It costs what it costs.  And we can afford it, so that's what it is.
    Posted by MattsPenguin[/QUOTE]

    This is our approach too.  We're paying for it ourselves and not going into any kind of debt.  We're choosing things that will make us happy and whatever they cost is what it will cost.
  • My proposed budget is 29k, includes everything from rehearsal dinner, dress, make-up hair, honeymoon, and reception!
  • We have 200 on our guest list and our budget is set at $7,800.

    Grandmother is an award-winning flower arranger, so our flowers are at wholesale cost

    Photography- FREE! I'm a wedding photographer and a couple of amazing friends of mine are giving that to me as their gift

    Caterer- family friend, doing it at wholesale cost

    Venue- $300. This is the one I'm a bit disappointed with. We're doing in in the church :/

    DJ- I have a friend from college who's still in school and is willing do sound and such for $150

    We're not doing a full dinner- we're doing heavy hors d'oeuvres and dancing.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_curious-very-not-proper-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b66b0e-bedd-43d6-9044-d0a69f578d61Post:cdfe94b0-0901-4de3-ab35-6baf5f6eaf4c">Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette : This is our approach too.  We're paying for it ourselves and not going into any kind of debt.  We're choosing things that will make us happy and whatever they cost is what it will cost.
    Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]

    I really don't think anyone should feel bad for what they are willing to spend.  Not even the 81K+ brides.  If it means this much to you, and hopefully this will only happen once, I think its completely worth it.

    FI and I actually had a somewhat major argument when we begun planning because I have a lot more savings than him and I have put a very large chunk into our wedding.  Its not that he didn't want me to, but that it wasn't that worth it to him.  I took this to mean being married to me wasn't worth the money, but I now realize some people care more about the wedding, while other people would rather be saving the money.
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  • Yikes, sure is pricey to have a wedding in NYC, that's for sure!  We are at about $35K including honeymoon and that's only about 70 guests. 
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  • MattsPenguinMattsPenguin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited August 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_curious-very-not-proper-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b66b0e-bedd-43d6-9044-d0a69f578d61Post:cdfe94b0-0901-4de3-ab35-6baf5f6eaf4c">Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette : This is our approach too.  We're paying for it ourselves and not going into any kind of debt.  We're choosing things that will make us happy and whatever they cost is what it will cost.
    Posted by pirategal03[/QUOTE]

    Glad someone else is taking that approach.  Like you, I already have this much saved up, so there will be no debt.

    Splurges for us would be:
    1. Venue (and the required catering/food) pretty much the reception
    2. Additional special touches, like feeding everyone ice cream.
    3. Photographer

    Saving money
    1. We're doing it at my hometown church with minimum decor. 
    2.  DIYing the reception decor, so that we're NOT paying $75/centerpiece for 30+ tables.  ETA: that's why we're splurging on a gorgeous venue, to minimize decor.
  • Thanks for responding, mwhitson.  I've had a lot of 'must take' talks with mine, and they are professionals, so I think I'll be ok there.  I keep telling myself that the photos will be fine, but it's just one of those things that just makes a pit in my stomach whenever I think about it.


    My budget doesn't include the rings, honeymoon, WP gifts, attire, or basically anything that would be 'for us' and not for the wedding.
    image
    murrayed
  • We had 25 guests at our wedding --

    $1800 went to the ceremony and that included flowers and basic photography;
    $2500 was for the reception dinner, that included seated dinner, two-hour open bar and wedding cake;
    Total = $4300

    Our original budget was $6k, so we were thrilled to come in way under.  We took the leftover money and used it to go to Disneyland Cool

  • We are around 15K which includes everything, HM, rings, full bar, caterer, florist, limo, dress, etc.  We are a month away, so it might go up a little more depending on total RSVP's we receive.  We are paying for it all ourselves, No loans, CC, etc., we've been making payments as we go to different vendors .
  • We will be anywhere from 7k - 10k we still have items and stuff to figure out.
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  • Wow.  Reading the first half of the responses I was feeling a really bad that we are spending as much as we are.  I'm glad some of you started posting higher numbers.  I think we are going to end up close to $20K.  

    I probably could have found a cheaper venue and menu, but my mom fell in love with the venue before we did (She found it first.) and was so excited.  My dad pretty much decided it had to be there.  We have 200 guests now.  It came down to a similar feeling as MattsPenguin had about the DIY decorations.

    I did splurge on my dress.  I had intended to stay under $500 but was convinced to go for the $1000 dress when my sister said "you only like the cheaper dress because of the price.  We can all tell you LOVE this dress".

    I do plan to splurge a little more than my sister did on photographers than my sister did.  I will be paying for them and really want a team of two since we have more guests and a bigger venue than my sister and her photographer managed to miss half the guests in the reception photos. I'm expecting to pay about $2500 for that.
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  • TTiger03TTiger03 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited August 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_curious-very-not-proper-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b66b0e-bedd-43d6-9044-d0a69f578d61Post:26922ce5-ee4f-4ec9-a980-fcc7d72a1de7">Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE] FI and I actually had a somewhat major argument when we begun planning because I have a lot more savings than him and I have put a very large chunk into our wedding.  Its not that he didn't want me to, but that it wasn't that worth it to him.  I took this to mean being married to me wasn't worth the money, but I now realize some people care more about the wedding, while other people would rather be saving the money.
    Posted by PirateintheSky[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>We have been having a similar problem with finding a house.  My FI keeps getting upset that I have ALL the savings for the downpayment and closing costs and he isn't contributing anything to that.  I have to keep telling him that he will be paying most of the mortgage payments so I don't mind putting down the big chunk now.</div><div>You are right that sometimes priorities are different, but it's great that you can talk it out and see why it was upsetting him and realize that he really does want you but the wedding isn't as big a deal to him as the marriage.  -- I had to realize that it's not that my FI doesn't want to live with me, he just wishes he could give me the world.</div>
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  • edited August 2010
    It cost us around $12k for everything and 130 guests, including rings, dress, etc, but the wedding was also definitely not in Hershey.  It would have been double that easily down here.  The only thing not included is our HM, which was a gift from the ILs- a week of their timeshare at anywhere we wanted to go. 

    ETA- That included a sit down dinner, the cake, open bar and 6 hour reception. 
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  • Original budget.... 20,000 has ballooned to about 25,000 but i'm starting to loose track of it so who knows where it will end up. Plus there are a lot of things I don't count towards the budget like if it's a couple hundred or less i just pay out of my everyday account instead of out of wedding funds if that makes sense. So i really don't know for sure.... which is kind of bad.
    ~basquing in the wedded bliss~
  • $10K is our MAX but we will probably come in under!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_curious-very-not-proper-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:20b66b0e-bedd-43d6-9044-d0a69f578d61Post:c10a64df-d089-46e3-883e-716fc927c5de">Re: Curious and Very Not Proper Etiquette</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow, do these under $10K budgets include photography, music, rings, hair & make-up, etc?  That's really good. We are right around $20K I think for 75 guests.  Boston is really expensive.  But we did splurge on a few things like our photographer was $3500 (totally worth it) and having a videographer for $1300.  But I thought we did pretty well.
    Posted by noodle_oo[/QUOTE]

    we spent $5500 in Boston area for wedding, reception, photog, rings and honeymoon.  we cut a lot of extras/unnecessary items.  we invited 120 guests, had 75 show.  it is possible if you think outside the box.  marrying in the offseason helped with our photog.  our guy normally charges $2500+ and we paid $500.  and yes, to OP, our guests had a hot meal.  all you can eat buffet, actually.
  • quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    edited August 2010
    I'll fess up.  My original budget was $35k.  There are still a lot of variables (probably more than there should be with 5 weeks to go), but I expect to come in under $30k, possibly closer to $25k.  That includes a few atypical items (we decided to pay for the WP, and since our wedding is out of state we need flights, hotels, rental car for ourselves).  It does not include the honeymoon, which we are definitely splurging on.
    Married 10/2/10
  • budget my parents gave us - $18k 90% of which went to our venue/caterer/cake
    we put down the $5k deposit so we'd have that extra for our dj/officient/ my dress and all the little extras.  we splurged on our photographer as well which was a cost shared by my parents, his parents, and us.  I think after all is said and done with all parties contributing we're going to end up around a total of $25k which is way more then I thought we'd spend.
    Southern Maryland near DC we have found is expensive.
  • our total, not including honeymoon is around $14000.  this includes everything else.  6 hour reception, open car, 4 course meal.

    with that said, i am in rural NH having the wedding at my aunts.  we did not have to pay for a venue, but we did have to rent a huge tent and everything else (silverware, glassware, linens, tables, dance floor, etc) but we did get to bring in our own booze and bartender so we saved a lot there!

    ifi had my dream wedding in the same location, it would have been at least $35,000.  in my dreams, i would have hired a wedding coordinator and a florist, both of which i am doing myself.
  • Our budget is $10K.  Our families have offered to help (my dad is helping us cover the catering deposit for our reception and my dress, and his parents have offered to pay for our honeymoon hotel room).  I still think we'll end up spending $10K, though, unless a larger percentage of our guests decline to come.
    "Plus who needs a purse when you have a wedding dress? Those things are like walking hobo bags just waiting to be stuffed with surprise treasures." -Wedinator.com image
  • edited August 2010
    My parents have given my sister a budget of 25K, but she is hoping to come in under 18K (she just can't fathom why people would spend more than 10K on a wedding until we budgeted all the items and it came out to 18K...)  she is hoping to cut it further and not spend that much.

    Problem is that we have a huge family.
  • I am estimating around 18K for our budget right now. We are also doing cash only, we have a savings account that a set monthly amount is put into and we plan to use only the money in there for the wedding. No credit cards, no loans. We are trying to be "debt free" when we get married.
  • Our budget is $23K, not including my dress/shoes, my bouquet (both paid for by my parents), honeymoon, and rings. We're in a semi-HCOL area, and care about photography, as well as incredible food + unlimited alcohol. We're paying for everything ourselves (with the exception of my parents' contribution which I called out). 
  • I didnt really have a budget b/c my amazing parents paid for the entire event.
    but We came in at around $45,000 for everything including Rings & Honeymoon
  • Budgeted and came in at $7k. Although my parents claim it was $10k, I'm not finding that extra 3 in all of the receipts. LoL.
    image
    July 24, 2010
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