Help! Need some advice!

lopezeli

Not sure if this is an etiquette question, but I think I'll get the most polite answers here.

My SIL offered to make our wedding invitations when we first got engaged. She is extremely crafty, but when she sent me the invites that she has made...well, they look very homemade and not very professional. I would love for her to make something else (like the ceremony programs), but how do I tell her this politely? (FI and I decided that we would MUCH rather order the invitations online) We aren't very close, so it's' not like I can just tell her straight up. Any words of wisdom about this?! Thanks ladies!!

Mrs.B6302007

When she offered, what did you say? Yes, absolutely?  We'll see/talk about it?

JessAndTrav

I would be honest with her about it.

"Susie, I was looking over the invite you gave us, and I have a few thoughts....what if we _____________________ instead of _________________."

I've not made wedding invites for anyone, but I have done like, Christmas Cards and things like that, and I do it for them because I care about them...and because I care, I want them to get what they want, not what I want.

NicoleSahara

I would just say something like "We fell in love with these invitations we found online and they were a great deal, so we ended up using those instead. Plus we didn't want it to be a hassle for you. But thank you SO much for offering to do the invitations for us."

rsaleh84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_help-need-some-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2106a5da-f19a-4a61-8ef1-b206c35018daPost:04785dc8-4561-4174-bb4f-16ad38ce460a">Re: Help! Need some advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]I would just say something like "We fell in love with these invitations we found online and they were a great deal, so we ended up using those instead. Plus we didn't want it to be a hassle for you. But thank you SO much for offering to do the invitations for us."
Posted by NicoleSahara[/QUOTE]

Yes...exactly what I would say.  I don't think it would hurt her feelings if you tell her the truth about what you would prefer.  I wouldn't mention what you didn't like about hers, which would probably hurt her feelings a bit.  Asking her to do the programs would be a great option instead!

Kate61487

ditto PP - but you actually need to find invitations you like online before you can use that line (if in 3 months you accidentally let it slip to someone who lets it slip to her that you're still looking you might find yourself in a sticky situation).

Summer2011Bride

How far off are they from what you envisioned? If she changed one or two things would you like them better? If so, i think going with, "Oh I really like them, but was wondering if we could do X instead?" might be the way to go.

If you just really dislike the whole thing, I think the polite but honest responses PPs gave sound good, soemthing like, "Thank you so much for doing the invitation mock-up; it really is lovely, but we actually found some invitations online that were a great price and are ordering/have ordered those."

ETA: I was in a very similar situation with MIL. She offered to do table numbers and when she did a mock-up it was just way too informal and "craft" looking for the rest of our table decor. I thanked her for doing it, told her it looked really nice, but that it might not match our centerpieces/table decor and that I was just going to use our e-pics instead. She was fine with it.

RebeccaB88

Agree with the others. I might also offer to reimburse her for any materials she bought to make the mock-up. But that's just me.