Wedding Etiquette Forum

Kids at Weddings

So I am doing my guest list and realize so many of my cousins have kids. My fiancee and I both have heavy drinkers in the family, and we are trying to make this wedding super cheap. Is it bad to tell the guest to leave the kids at home with a sitter? 

Re: Kids at Weddings

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    Ive heard of people having child-less weddings, but you have to be ware that if you ask parents to not bring their kids, there's a chance they wont come if they can't find a sitter. There's always the option of hiring a sitter of your own at the wedding, a person to watch the kids while the parents are at the reception, or a kids corner with activities for them. It's you wedding you can pick and choose where to save the money! Good luck!
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    Thank you this really helps! 
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    In Response to <a href=" BoardsForum:9Discussion:2170e6f5-2771-453e-bfb8-493c1ae704c8Post:8ad9c66d-4568-4445-ac4e-50607762bcd5">Re: Kids at Weddings</a>:
    [QUOTE]You are not required to invite your cousins' children, but I definitely wouldn't phrase it that way.  <strong>Just address the invitation to the people invited. If someone RSVPs with their kids, call, them apologize for the misunderstanding and say that that invitation was just for the people listed on the invite.</strong> I wouldn't mention money as being the reason why their kids aren't invited, because people tend to try to use money as a way to get what they want in situations like this. I've had people offer to give me money so they can invite extra people to my wedding.<strong> I've found it helpful to invite kids in circles.</strong> We decided that only my FI's nephews would be invited (I have no nieces or nephews) to our wedding. Some of our cousins are annoyed, but at least when someone says "Why is that kid invited?" we have a solid answer.
    Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]

    This exactly.
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    You aren't required to invite kids or provide a sitter if you do (although it's a kindness).

    If you choose not to invite kids, just address the invitation to their parents and leave the kids' names off.  If their parents RSVP for them anyway, call them and explain that the kids were not included in the invitation and cannot be accommodated.  But be prepared for the parents to decline the invitation.  This doesn't necessarily mean that all of them will, but many parents do not accept invitations that don't include their children.
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    Hi - All these responses are helpful since I'm going through a similar issue, but I also have additional questions.  Is there a cut-off age you suggest?  No kids under 16? 13?  Also, even if you have an age limit how do you invite one child but not another?

    A) My aunt and uncle have two kids - one in college and one still in HS?  Is better to not invite either?
    B) My best friend's son is going to be one of the ringbearers so obviously he will be there, but she also has a 3 yr. old.  I'm sure she would come....but then you get into the situation of 'well it's not only kids in the Wedding Party b/c they have another kid here also'?

    Thoughts on how to handle this politely?  I just don't want to open it to having some kids allowed, and some not. 
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