A big old honking wrench

emilyinchile

Ok, now I understand the religious thing - thanks for explaining.

Snippy, I know I asked my BMs if any of the potential dates for our wedding wouldn't work, and one told me for example that one weekend might be a bit better for her but that she'd be there whenever. If one of them came to me and told me her wedding was going to be either at sunrise or sunset, and did I have a preference, I would say that it was up to her and her FI, that I'd be there no matter what but that of course sunset would be a bit more comfortable than sunrise in terms of actually being awake for it.

amber2123

The groomsmen are wearing kilts, and the guests can if they want, some are, or they can wear what they choose.  The only rule I have about the guests is no jeans.  I'm not being overly demanding in my opion.  And I think that the hair style is reasonable.

Snippylynn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_big-old-honking-wrench?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:217a4b1a-bc6b-416c-b8d7-1e340cc2e38dPost:4abea448-5ad5-44e2-97f7-d5fec5039e43">Re: A big old honking wrench</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly I hadn't thought of them being CMOH.  I had never heard of it.  I'm going to do that.  Ant the reason the catholic/christian thing came into play is those were my MOH and one of my BM weddings and I stood up for them and did everything that was expected of me, even if I'm of a different religon.  So I respected their religous belifs and they respect mine.  That's why they don't mind a sunrise wedding.
Posted by amber2123[/QUOTE]
They do; trust us.  It's not about respecting someone else's religious beliefs, it's about being a friend/loved one.  You should return that respect by not having people up at the ass-crack  of dawn; or at least not fooling yourself into believeing that people are overjoyed to be attending that early.

I'll say that you've done a very nice thing in providing coffee and pastries before, and I hope that you look at that aspect (providing as much comfort as possible to your guests) and take that to how you're dealing with the BM situation.  Don't try to force them into a particular attire- if you don't want their input, just tell her what to wear.  It's kind of expected, especially as you are paying for the dress.  Don't force them into a kind of hairstyle, because that just sucks, no matter who is paying.  Don't turn any of this into a bigger deal than it needs to be, honestly.  The visions we have about our weddings aren't always, and shouldn't always be a reality.  Not just from a financial aspect, but because you should try to accomodate people and what makes them happy/comfortable as well.

sep72fendr

When I think of Sunrise vs Sunset I think of Fiddler on the Roof. :-) Anyone else? I think it might be better and easier if you just do the runaway bride thing and elope on the side of the hill at sunrise, that way only 3 other people have to be awake, your officiant and 2 witnesses. (please note the extreme amount of sarcasm in there)

emilyinchile

Criticism about guests being made to wear kilts retracted - sorry, I misunderstood a previous post of yours that I'd just seen.

However if you've actually told people "no jeans" that's still a bit of an etiquette no-no. And the point isn't weather or not the hairstyle is reasonable (I personally would have no problem with it), it's that telling someone how to wear her hair is not necessary and definitely not important enough to fight over.

Honestly, I think you should tell Randy to buy the damn dress and hope she drops out of your wedding - then you can replace her with Amber, and all problems are solved. Right?

kikibaby

Aren't the dudes going to be cold in kilts? 

Annnnd, what are you going to do if a guest breaks your "no jeans rule"?

squirrly

You can't have a no jeans rule.  You just can't.  There's no way to demand that without being rude in doing so.

Co-MOHs is the right answer.

Pick a dress.  Pick a reasonable, affordable, not offensive, at least somewhat flattering dress.  From whatever website you want.  If they buy the dress, they're in the WP.  If they don't, they aren't.

Accept that some of your guests are going to be grumpy about a sunrise wedding, will complain behind your back, and lie and smile to your face about how sweet and sentimental it is.  Humans are like that. 

ichellemay1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_big-old-honking-wrench?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:217a4b1a-bc6b-416c-b8d7-1e340cc2e38dPost:e95f0049-a89e-4f7d-bf1b-99a15ffb40d9">Re: A big old honking wrench</a>:
[QUOTE]Just make them co-Maids of Honor. Problem solved.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

Definitely - easiest resolution.

amber2123

I won't do anything, but sence these are verry close friends or family when I was asked what the atire was I responded be comfortable and warm...but if you don't mind, I'd rather not have jeans.  If someone shows up in jeans I won't take it as an attack or cause a scene, I'll be fine.  The only reason I want that hairstyle is it will be windy and I would like to see everyone's face in the pictures that are taken.  Hair whipping around can be distracting, even to me because I have AD....Oh butterfly! lol

emilyinchile

"No jeans rule" and "when people asked what to wear, I requested no jeans" are two different things in my mind. If it's the latter, you're good to go.

mrscarter052011

I may flamed for this but I think that the sunrise ceremony sounds pretty cool.  And, I am by no means a morning person but one day of getting up early wouldn't kill me (as long as there was coffee).

As for the MOH situation the PP have that covered when they suggested making them both MOH's. 

amber2123

One of the first questions about my wedding, even before when it was, was "how dressy".  Not that they expected formal, because that's just not me (most were suprised that I was wearing a wedding dress) but because my family shops early so we don't have to deal with it later.

WildRumpus

Out of curiosity, what type of bridesmaids dresses are you looking at, since you don't want sleeveless? I don't think I've ever seen one w/ sleeves...

Manwaithiel

Co-MOHs. Done.

amber2123

They do make them, and after scraping the one I posted before because Randy hates it I think I might try something like these



http://www.landadesigns.com/index.php?cPath=9

kikibaby

I actually like that dress.  It's a little holiday party-ish, but pretty.

WildRumpus

How old are your bridesmaids? I can't help thinking that looks like a mother of the bride dress....

emilyinchile

I like that dress!

amber2123

The ceremony will be about 10-20 minutes from the time the circle is cast untill Scott and I are lead out by our bagpiper

amber2123

Randy-40's, the others are in their 20's

WildRumpus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_big-old-honking-wrench?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:217a4b1a-bc6b-416c-b8d7-1e340cc2e38dPost:58165f5b-8777-4199-85f4-1684dcca3dcc">Re: A big old honking wrench</a>:
[QUOTE]Randy-40's, the others are in their 20's
Posted by amber2123[/QUOTE]

Gotcha. Well, if the others like it, and you're paying for it, then it looks like Randy's just going to be SOL.

amber2123

each girl will be in a different color, one red, one yellow, one blue, and one green...by for the new CMOH I'm thinking of purple or silver

amber2123

3BM 2MOH (one matron, one maid) and I might end up doing that because I'm about ready to give up.  In my mind all the girls are in the same dress, but different colors.  I've tried for 2 months to get Randy to change her mind about the dress thing, but to no avail....So I think I'll gust give them the color I want them to wear and tell them tea or full length with at least short sleeves...oh and black shoes

WildRumpus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_big-old-honking-wrench?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:217a4b1a-bc6b-416c-b8d7-1e340cc2e38dPost:dd4c3a9b-c7b4-4d3a-bd1a-f213ced0b6c7">Re: A big old honking wrench</a>:
[QUOTE]How many BM's are there? Can you not just tell them a color and have them buy their own dresses? You said yourself that people were suprised you're even wearing a wedding dress and that your wedding isn't formal.
Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]


That's what I'm doing. It's so much less stressful Then, if someone does choose to wear sleeveless, they could get a bolero jacket or cardigan to go over. And then, you don't have to pay for it.