hometown wedding

jessa92010

Is it still ok to have a wedding where you live, regardless of where most of your guests live?  His family is having a fit because they all have to travel here, no matter my parents and I live here and I'm dealing with grad school and a demanding work travel scheduled as well - having it here is so much easier.  That was the first thing his parents said when they found out we were engaged, "Can't you have the wedding out here?"  Now a few days ago, his siblings started talking on Facebook with each other about how much it cost to travel here (they're driving 10-12 hours) and for the hotel (which I got a group rate for $80, which I thought was awesome).  I feel so guilty that I'm having the wedding here at home.  Is this not acceptable anymore?  I get that we're supposed to make sure our guests are happy, but this seems extreme.

WildRumpus

As far as I know it's still okay. We're going a step further and having our wedding where we live at the moment-4 hours from my family, 8 hours from his. Yes, it sucks that they're going to have to travel for the day, but financially and time wise, it made far more sense for us to do it here. I'm also still in school and am working. I'm sorry his family is acting like that

GJones27

Don't feel guilty.  It is the tradition that the wedding be held in the hometown of the bride.  I also think it's rude of them to make those demands on you, as then it would mean that YOUR family has to pay all of those travel costs.  If your family is footing the wedding bill, then that request is even rudder.  Plus, you're in school, so it's totally understandable why you would want the wedding nearby.

Also, I don't think driving 10-12 hours is much.  My fiance's family lives in South America, and they're flying all the way from there to our wedding in San Francisco.  But not once have they complained. 

In short, yes, I agree with you.  It's not fair of them, and don't change your plans to make them happy.  It's expected that guests sometimes have to travel to attend weddings.  If they don't want to, they can decline.  Sorry you have to deal with this drama!  I feel your frustration.

Kristin&eric

we are having a wedding where we live, none of our fmaily members live here.

AdeleDazeem

We're getting married in a different country!

And, really, every wedding I've ever been to, I've had to travel.  Such is life.

jessa92010

Thanks, everyone.  I think what bugs them about having to travel is they think my hometown is near where they live because I went to high school near them, but the truth is, I don't have a "hometown" becase we moved around so much prior to.  So when his parents made one comment, I thought that would be the end of it, but it appears that's not the case.  Oh, well.

brookelynpaisley

Sounds like someone would have to travel no matter what. It's unfortunate they're being tacky and rude discussing costs in a place like Facebook. As long as you and your future husband are in agreement that where you've selected is best for you two, put your foot down and ignore their comments. If they don't stop, your FI should be addressing the issue with them.

skippylouwho

You know, they'll either get over it or they won't and if they don't - it's there loss.