Wedding Etiquette Forum

Etiquette- bridesmaids

What are some helpful tips to give the bridesmades a satisfying experience?

Re: Etiquette- bridesmaids

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    Remember that they're your friends first and bridesmaids second. 
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    salt78salt78 member
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    If they offer to help you with things, that's awesome. But please don't give them a list of "duties" that you think they are supposed to help you with.
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    edited July 2010
    Remember that they won't be as excited about your wedding as you are.

    Don't expect them to help with favors, programs, decorating, etc...

    Don't chastise them for their hair, makeup or other appearance choices; as PP said: they are your friends, not props.

    Remember that your wedding is one day and a friendship is a lifetime.

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    When you talk to them on the phone or hang out with them, talk about their lives first and your wedding second.  I love my friend, but I always felt like an after thought in our conversations leading up to her wedding.  Always remember that you picked them to stand up with you at your wedding because they are your closest friends/family.

    The fact that you're asking this question is a good sign that you are already aware of this, so good start.
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    her982her982 member
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    Put some thought into each bm gift. They don't want a stupid frame with a pic of you and your FI, or a tshirt that says "bridesmaid." It's ok to get them each something different and personal.
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    Ask them their budget.  It's really awkward if you dont and you are looking at dreses out of their range.  No one wants to have to admit "I can't afford that."  Know before you begin looking. 


    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
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    When it comes to getting them a gift, try to do something personal, if you're creative, make something special for them.  If not, look for something that reminds you of them to tell them they are special to you, which btw does not have to be very expensive.  And like someone else said, if possible, let them choose the style of the dress, although they will all be standing up with you together, they still have their individual personalities and there is nothing wrong with letting that show and allowing them to wear whatever (within reason) makes them feel most beautiful.  I gave my 3 sisters a color range (aqua torquoise family) and said, "get a dress you like and feel good in."
    As my fiance is fond of saying, "Just Relax....."
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    How do you ask them to be in your bridal party. I don't want to offen any of them by just asking will you be my bridesmaid, is there any other kind of approach?

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    I took two out of three of them out for tea and asked them about halfway through our meal. I also picked up the tab for our tea (it was a formal tea with all the little sandwiches and dessert).

    The third person lives much father away, so I just had to call her. That's exactly how she asked  me to be her BM, so I figured it was fine.
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    Don't have 147 bridal showers. 
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    I'm pretty old school.

    If you insist on them buying a specific dress, IMO you should pay for it. If you let them pick, then I think its ok to let them pay.

    Also if you require hair and make up, you must pay.

    Technically, under etiquette, you are supposed to provide lodging for the wedding for wedding party members. That can be staying at a family member's house, or that can be paying for a hotel room.

    But I realize I'm in the minority (or at least I used to be on this board)

    But mostly, just don't have "requirements."
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