Wedding Etiquette Forum

BMs Gift for Bride & Groom

I feel like all I have been doing here is posting questions and more questions all the time.  I'm so glad I found you ladies :-)

So I had a BM and GM over for the weekend.  They are really good friends of ours.  We ran a race on Saturday for the Sandy Hook Families, then they helped FI build our daughters play set. 

One of those nights we were just talking about our wedding weekend.  They wanted to book the room early.  Anyway she went to open the computer and found my registry opened.  I've been working on it for weeks now.  She then ask "do we need to get you something from your registry?"  At first I didn't want to sound gift grabby so I said "it is at the people's discretion, we aren't asking for gifts but are registering to make it easier for those who want to"  Then she mentioned "is the cash gift etiquette also apply to the WP?"  I simply said "We aren't asking for cash or gifts.  The presence of everyone is all we want whether a guest, friend, WP or family."  She tried to keep pushing but I quickly changed the subject.

I am curious, does the WP get the bride and groom gifts (registry/monetary)?  I've been in weddings but it was when I was younger (as in not even working and in high school) so our family always did the gift. 

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Re: BMs Gift for Bride & Groom

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    I got the couple a gift when I was a bridesmaid, and our WP got us gifts.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    Thank you Addie!  I didn't want her to think she's obligated because she isn't just got thrown off about gifts.  I rather avoid these questions.

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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    The wedding party is the same as any other guest. A gift of any sort is not to be expected, but a majority will give a gift.

    FWIW, we got a gift from 8 of our 10 WP members.
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    It was about half and half for us, as I recall. It really was enough that they were there with us and supported us. 

    I'm currently a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding, and I am planning on making her a gift. It's a little strange that she would push about something like that, but I think you handled it well!
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    I've seen weddings where the bridal party grouped to get a big present for the couple at the shower. For the last wedding I was in, we got individual gifts for the shower.

    Normally, they give a gift at the wedding like any other guest would. I had a sign made for their house and made a giant cake for their rehersal dinner (they had 70 people at their house for the RD) and that was my gift. For a previous wedding, I gave the bride and groom a weekend getaway to a bed and breakfast.

    For my first wedding, I got money from our party.
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    There have been times when I've skipped (or forgotten) a tradition gift when i was in the wedding party, becasue part of my duties included paying for showers, bachelorette vacations, etc, and after spending thousands of dollars buying a set of glasses or flatware seemed extraneous. And then made up for it by buying amazing baby gifts a year later :)
    etiquette-wise, they probably should send somethign small, but I'm not expecting anything from my bridal party. they're doing enough.
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    I have only been in 2 weddings, but I didn't get a gift for either of those couples. I did have to travel to New York for both of those weddings with plane, car and hotel expenses on top of the usual WP expenses so both understood and didn't expect anything. All the other WP members got them gifts, but they were ask local as well I was the only traveling member! I think you handled it great. I would have said the same thing, gifts, in any form are not necessary, but appreciated, ask you want is for them there to celebrate worth you! If she brings it up again I would just reiterate what you already said!!
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    B2Z728B2Z728 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited March 2013
    When we got married, we received gifts from everyone in our wedding party. Most were cash, in varried amounts, and a few were "boxed gifts" that were not from our registry. When I was a bridesmaids in my brother's wedding, my husband and I also gave cash for their wedding present.
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    So far we have received gifts from 2 of our 4 bridesmaids.  My MOH is bringing hers down when she visits in a week, so I know we're getting something from her as well - she keeps trying to give me hints lol.  We haven't received anything from the guys yet, but they're guys... so if we get something it will probably be picked up en route to the ceremony :)

    We always give gifts when we are the in wedding party, regardless of travel.  We just mentally add it to our budgets when figuring out travel arrangements, etc.
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