What would you do?

RandiLakin

If there was a mother who BF coming to my wedding, i'd hope she would excuse herself to go do that in a more appropriate place. 

Also, i have really nice cleavage, and i really don't want to be competing with any other ladies on that day for best cleavage!!!! LOL. 

btrflykate1230

It might be a regional thing. I've seen women breastfeeding in restaurants and I've never overheard patrons talking about it.

The baby boards that I hang around in are very pro-breastfeeding as well, as are all my family members.

I do think you have a right to feel uncomfortable if you can see boob. If you can't see anything at all, not even the baby (which is possible with many cover ups), I think it's  a bit much to complain about that. I mean, you can't SEE anything.

crfische

Yes. You can.

You can see a human under your shirt sucking your boob.

That's not ok.

bel138

Thanks roxy.

I find it really weird, fische, that you're so adamant that women should have more respect for their bodies and may be offending people by even feeding a child under a blanket where nothing is visble. But if a woman is out it a top that barely covers her nipples and a skirt that gives everyone a show when she moves, is that ok? I may be offended by provocatively dressed women, but I don't suggest they don't deserve to enjoy their dinners.

What, exactly, is it that bothers you? I'm being completely serious here. I am not at all bothered by a child eating in the way nature intends and how children have been eating for millenia. So I genuinely don't understand your point of view, but want to.

btrflykate1230

http://www.babble.com/CS/photos/apr2007/images/16207/original.aspx

It's a blanket over a women's shirt. You can't see a damn thing.

I think being offended by that is a bit ridiculous, but, to each their own.

crfische

But if a woman is out it a top that barely covers her nipples and a skirt that gives everyone a show when she moves, is that ok? I may be offended by provocatively dressed women, but I don't suggest they don't deserve to enjoy their dinners.

I'm sorry bel, but when in the god damned hell have I ever said that THAT is ok? Seriously?

Have we met?

bel138

I was asking if it was ok. I'm sorry if my sarcasm font was on.

crfische

Having a human attached to your boob in a restaurant isn't ok.

You have NO IDEA who is watching you do that.

And I don't want to see it. Go somewhere private. I don't think it's such a huge stretch.

If I had a baby and chose to breastfeed? You better believe I'd be doing that shiit in private.

btrflykate1230

But, if they're completely covered, and the breast is never exposed (since the baby and breast is being covered) then, what exactly is a person watching?

I have to go to bed, but, I can see we'll never agree on this!

bel138

So your main beef is that some weirdo might be staring at you? You say you don't want to see it. What is it that's so offensive to YOU? Are you uncomfortable with the dual meaning of breasts in our society? Honestly, I find this fascinating.

sucrets4

I'm sorry, fish, I disagree.

1.  Maybe I'm not really good at it yet, but I need to sit when I'm bfing.  And I'm not going to sit on a toilet in order to do so.

2.  Some babies don't take bottles.  My mom bf'd me exculsively for a few months and tried to give me a bottle when she went back to work.  I wanted NOTHING to do with it.

3.  Babies are kind of on schedules, but there are also growth spurts and other reasons why they need to nurse.  It's ridiculous to expect someone to stay home just because their baby might be unpredictable.

4.  I think that as long as it's covered up, it's silly to get so offended by it.  It doesn't affect you.

I nurse and pump.  We've really only been out to the doctor so far and have brought a bottle each time, but I'd much rather nurse than give a bottle, if possible. 

crfische

Well, I'm not in the business to fascinate you.

So, there's that. And Bel, if you read ANYTHING of what I wrote, you would know that it's more than that.

nda_roxybabe

IMO if the baby is completely covered like in kates picture she posted then how do you know mom isnt just holding baby to her? Theres been times where a woman is just holding her sleeping baby and it looks the same as BF-ing (minus the exposed boob of course)

crfische

I'm not trying to offend anyone.

I'm just saying.

When you breast feed your kid in public, people talk about you. And they are offended. It's me against the moms in this thread and I get that, but the moms I know would never EVER just breastfeed their kid in public and will side eye anyone that does.

I don't want to see a human hanging off your boob when I'm out having dinner. I just don't.

Dinner takes what? 2 hours at most?

sucrets4

I'm actually going to get a Moby wrap...apparently you can nurse in those as well and it intrigues me. 

sucrets4

Fish, I might never bf in public, but I think that people have the right to do it tastefully.  And for everyone you say is offended, lots of other people aren't.  How do you know?

bel138

I'm sorry. I really just wanted to understand your point of view. I thought that was the point of discussion: understanding. And from what you wrote, I don't understand what your major hang up is, because your posts really come off as "OMG THAT'S GROSS!" without any rationalization. And I'm not a mom.

crfische

Yes, Bel. That's all I've said.

Because I'm that intolerant.

Read again.

luckyme502

I have been around women who breast feed in public, and you wouldn't even know they were breastfeeding unless you were staring at them.  I think there is a way to do it without exposing yourself or drawing attention to yourself. 

AlmondWhittle

As a mother, wouldn't you want to go a little out of your way to BF your child in a way that they wouldn't have to be covered with a blanket, and that you would have privacy? I feel like I'm missing something. Is asking a waiter for a chair to be brought into the bathroom to aid you in doing so or going out to the car out of the question?

bel138

Well, I did reread. I believe your points were that there are people who are weird and you could be putting yourself and child in danger around these people, children have schedules that don't necessitate public feedings, and that it offends you/makes you uncomfortable.

1. There are weirdos with foot fetishes and other kinks. But I don't worry about wearing sandals in public just in case one of these dudes might be around and might accost me.

2. I eat three meals a day on a typical day. I have a schedule. Sometimes when I'm out, I get hungry and want a snack. It's unpredictable, and I'm an adult that can control these things.

3. You will always offend someone. I believe that's a point frequentl made on this board.

While I agree that it's very possible for women to go to the bathroom or the car to breast feed, I don't see why your desire to enjoy your dinner/day out at the mall/etc. trump the other woman's desire to enjoy herself.

crfische

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:f2dedcec-35b4-408b-a103-e34358d4695a">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, I did reread. I believe your points were that there are people who are weird and you could be putting yourself and child in danger around these people, children have schedules that don't necessitate public feedings, and that it offends you/makes you uncomfortable. 1. There are weirdos with foot fetishes and other kinks. But I don't worry about wearing sandals in public just in case one of these dudes might be around and might accost me. 2. I eat three meals a day on a typical day. I have a schedule. Sometimes when I'm out, I get hungry and want a snack. It's unpredictable, and I'm an adult that can control these things. 3. You will always offend someone. I believe that's a point frequentl made on this board. While I agree that it's very possible for women to go to the bathroom or the car to breast feed, I don't see why your desire to enjoy your dinner/day out at the mall/etc. trump the other woman's desire to enjoy herself.
Posted by bel138[/QUOTE]

So youre saying that by breast feeding, they are enjoying themselves?

louisvillebride21

I'm going to guess that yes, she's enjoying herself by not sitting on a toilet while she feeds her child. It seems like you're hung up on the sexuality of the boob, and totally discounting the nature part of it all. I've never seen you so worked up before, ever.

sucrets4

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-22?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:240a247c-5387-4ae6-b097-6066a09b23e1Post:f627a3a9-0495-40bb-b60f-5e233d89c6cf">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : So youre saying that by breast feeding, they are enjoying themselves?
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

It's kinda cool to see your kid grow knowing that your body provided all of the nutrients for them to do so.  Just sayin'.

bel138

I'm saying that they're trying to do the same thing you are (enjoy dinner, go to a public place) without tongue clucking, disapproving stares, and requests to leave.

crfische

I'm not againt breast feeding, sooks. I've said that at least five times in this thread.

I don't see the need for public breast feeding.

And really? I'm hung up on the sexuality of it? I'm not. Not at all. That was ONE thing. Not the only thing.

I dont think its necessary to breastfeed your child in public. I just don't. I think it's rude. I think it's weird. And I think there are ways around it. I've never met a BF mom who thinks its ok to do in public. They excuse themselves and find a private place.

Really? Is it THAT far fetched that people dont attach a human to their boob during dinner?

louisvillebride21

I mean, I see your point, when you put it that way. I just don't know how many people think about it so crudely.

KentuckyKate

PPs have mentioned to benefits of breast milk vs. formula, but also, milk straight from the breast is completely sterile.  So even if your child is not formula fed, breast milk going from the breast, through a pump, into a bottle, and carried around in a room temperature diaper bag is not as good for the infant as milk right from the source. 

So I agree it should be done tastefully, but I would put the infant's best interest and comfort above a few prudes or weirdos any day of the week.  And nursing is in the infant's best interest.

crfische

Most people I know think about it that way.

I've been WITH my BF'ing SIL's and they see a woman BFing in public and they think she's nuts.

I just don't get it. If you CAN do it in private, why wouldn't you?

crfische

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IM ALL FOR BREAST FEEDING.

DO WE SEE IT NOW?

I CANT INCREASE THE FONT.