Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal Shower for a Renewal??

My sister in law got married in a small, private, ceremony last summer and is planning a larger renewal ceremony for this summer complete with a reception/dance.  because of the nature of her wedding last year, she didn't have a bridal shower.  I am wondering if it's acceptable to throw her a bridal shower before her renewal ceremony this year? 
I'm totally on the fence about it, but would LOVE some input!!!
Thanks in advance! Smile

Re: Bridal Shower for a Renewal??

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-for-a-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24dbd186-a0b8-45f0-aeb5-c54c4d8c527aPost:37f87b48-68da-4c82-a06c-334715403b13">Re: Bridal Shower for a Renewal??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nope.  She's not a bride. 
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]

    <div>Exactly this. Bridal Showers are for brides.</div>
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  • Bridal showers are for brides.  She's a wife.

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  • I should add that it was a quick wedding...if that makes a difference.  They essentially eloped.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-for-a-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24dbd186-a0b8-45f0-aeb5-c54c4d8c527aPost:97980954-695f-47b4-8fdd-8fcdc8bd2a0b">Re: Bridal Shower for a Renewal??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I should add that it was a quick wedding...if that makes a difference.  They essentially eloped.
    Posted by loestreich[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Still doesn't matter. It's a marriage. </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-for-a-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24dbd186-a0b8-45f0-aeb5-c54c4d8c527aPost:97980954-695f-47b4-8fdd-8fcdc8bd2a0b">Re: Bridal Shower for a Renewal??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I should add that it was a quick wedding...if that makes a difference.  They essentially eloped.
    Posted by loestreich[/QUOTE]

    It doesn't matter.  She is still already married.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    She is already married.  Does not matter how quick or not quick it was.  She is a wife not a bride thus she does not get a bridal shower.  Sorry.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-for-a-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:24dbd186-a0b8-45f0-aeb5-c54c4d8c527aPost:97980954-695f-47b4-8fdd-8fcdc8bd2a0b">Re: Bridal Shower for a Renewal??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I should add that it was a quick wedding...if that makes a difference.  They essentially eloped.
    Posted by loestreich[/QUOTE]

    Doesn't make a lick of difference.  She's still married.
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  • Nope, that ship has sailed. 
  • Sorry, but quick wedding or not she's married and showers are for unmarried brides-to-be.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-for-a-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:24dbd186-a0b8-45f0-aeb5-c54c4d8c527aPost:97980954-695f-47b4-8fdd-8fcdc8bd2a0b">Re: Bridal Shower for a Renewal??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I should add that it was a quick wedding...if that makes a difference.  They essentially eloped.
    Posted by loestreich[/QUOTE]

    When you elope, you make the decision to forgoe all pre-wedding parties.  It comes with the territory.  Bridal showers are for brides.
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  • Please don't.... I would definitely side eye this and be pissed for being invited.
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  • Habs - been a long time. Good to see you.  Love the sig pic LOL.
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  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    Not a bride, no shower
  • Absolutely not. 

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  • OP seriously, these people can have sticks up their butts sometimes. You can throw her a shower as long as everyone invited knows that she's already married. Maybe you could call it something different than a bridal shower.
  • I guess I'm always the dissenter.  Haha.  Well, they say you shouldn't give baby showers for the second child, but my FI's aunt is having her's 10 years later and in another country, so of course we will.  Really, I guess I'm a rule breaker.  If I had the idea, I would ask some of the people you are on close terms with that you would invite and ask them what they thought.  If they were all for the idea, then why not?   My friends are all way more excited to have a shower and stagette party then I am......so although it's for me, I think it's also for them.  Lol.  Call it a post wedding shower or something.  However, if you get bad feedback on it, then probably not the thing to do.  If you do go ahead, I also wouldn't make it all that formal and invite everyone you normally would have, just those that want to "shower" with you. 
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  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    A second baby shower after 10 years and an international move is so unbelievably different.

    If the OP invites people  to a shower many of them will be offended. Period. If she wants to avoid that, she should not throw a shower. That's one of those things her sister gave up when she eloped last year.
    Lizzie
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-for-a-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24dbd186-a0b8-45f0-aeb5-c54c4d8c527aPost:cd455588-dc81-41df-b764-ccd28505ff2b">Re: Bridal Shower for a Renewal??</a>:
    [QUOTE]OP seriously, these people can have sticks up their butts sometimes. You can throw her a shower as long as everyone invited knows that she's already married. Maybe you could call it something different than a bridal shower.
    Posted by jessieandharry[/QUOTE]

    You certainly aren't making much leway on the "being a good knottie" project you had.
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  • OP, please don't listen to the horrible advice given by two random posters here. 

    Oh, and I don't usually have a problem with baby showers in most situations.
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  • I would definitely say NO to throwing a Bridal Shower, I also think it is incredibly tacky to have a baby shower for any baby after the first one... but people do that all the time, I just don't attend haha.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-for-a-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24dbd186-a0b8-45f0-aeb5-c54c4d8c527aPost:640cfcf2-abbb-4155-bbf5-9d68d4a1079f">Re: Bridal Shower for a Renewal??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal Shower for a Renewal?? : No.  Sorry, try again.  FTR, I have no problem with baby showers when there is a huge gap between kids.  My cousin had a very unexpected pregnancy last year where her older two were in middle school, so we had a shower for her.  She had long since given away her baby things.  However, that's not what OP asked.  No bridal shower. 
    Posted by EaglesBride2012[/QUOTE]


    I was just telling the OP what I would personally do if I were in her situation and had the idea.  That's fine if it doesn't work for everyone.  I'm coming to grips with the fact that I guess I have very relaxed friends and family (most of them.....I can also pick out most of the exceptions as well), so I guess these things aren't a big deal to me. Which is why "testing out the waters" with the idea would be ok in my books.  I mean, 95% of the time I don't get an actual physical invite to a shower, just a phone call.......but everyone on here talks about invites...
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  • Don't do it. If you wanted to take her out to dinner and invite her friends as a congratulatory dinner, I see no problem in that. But hosting a gift-giving shower for someone who is already married is absurd in my opinion. Showers are for brides, not wives. Just because she's having a vow renewal doesn't make it any different. She chose to elope; therefore, she gave up  the right to pre-wedding parties like showers or a bachelorette.

    And FWIW, I don't see the baby shower comparison AT ALL. Totally different scenario.


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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-for-a-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:24dbd186-a0b8-45f0-aeb5-c54c4d8c527aPost:360acb65-f8d1-49ea-b140-832e7fc6828c">Re: Bridal Shower for a Renewal??</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal Shower for a Renewal?? : I was just telling the OP what I would personally do if I were in her situation and had the idea.  That's fine if it doesn't work for everyone.  I'm coming to grips with the fact that I guess<strong> I have very relaxed friends and family</strong> (most of them.....I can also pick out most of the exceptions as well), so I guess these things aren't a big deal to me. Which is why "testing out the waters" with the idea would be ok in my books.  I mean, 95% of the time I don't get an actual physical invite to a shower, just a phone call.......but everyone on here talks about invites...
    Posted by vantica[/QUOTE]

    <div>Having relaxed friends and family is not an excuse to be rude.</div><div>
    </div><div>A "bridal" shower for someone who isn't a bride is going to come off gift grabby, no matter what.  It doesn't matter if you are relaxed or not.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Doing things like showers is going to make it seem like she's trying to have a wedding redo instead of having a vow renewal.  </div>
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