How do I find a middle ground when dealing with an enormous family?
My family is large on both my mother's and my father's side, and it comes to over 60 people (already assuming no children under 12). My fiance's family comes to around 30 people. I don't want my guest list to be much more than 100 people (if even!), so at this rate, we would be able to include very few of our close friends if my whole family was included.
My biggest problem is that I'm not close with a lot of my extended family, partly because there is a great variation in age among my cousins (in fact when I was making the guest list, I had to check notes for the names of some of my first cousins). However, there are a few sets of aunts, uncles, and their children (who are near my age) that I am close with, and want at my wedding.
The only solution that I can see is to have a small(er) wedding (maybe around 60 people), in which the guest list is limited to close family and friends. However, my fiance's family is small enough that he doesn't want to leave anyone out. Is it acceptable to drastically limit the members of my family invited, and yet invite his entire family, considering the dramatic difference in size?
Also, I don't want to get trapped into cutting friends that I truly want at my wedding just because I have to invite cousins that I barely know. And if I choose not to invite a lot of my family on the basis of having a 'small wedding,' I feel like I will have to serverly limit my friends as well (or else it would ring false), and leave out some people that are very important to me.
How do I cut the family I barely know without creating drama and offense, and still include the friends that are important to me?
Does anyone have any suggestions/solutions? I'm happy to answer more detailed questions about this situation - just didn't want to make this post into a novel!