Just because you know doesn't mean you're invited

MichelleL8707

My fiancee was talking to his mom a week or so ago and she was saying how everybody is excited to come. Among those excited are his uncles grown kids that are only related to my fiancee through marriage and they aren't even invited! I have never even heard of them before let alone met them. Now my finacee insists that we have to invite them just because they know about our wedding and their names came up in conversation. I don't want to invite more people than we actually have too. Do we have to invite them just because they know?

alynne1113

No, you do not need to invite them.

crfische

No.

MyUserName1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-because-doesnt-mean-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:251e8f40-45ce-4785-9dec-e774626de06aPost:eb8f8d5e-1086-4597-950f-e2df427b3053">Re: Just because you know doesn't mean you're invited</a>:
[QUOTE]No. But you may want to have your FI suggest to his mom to stop talking about the wedding because you haven't finalized the guest list yet and don't want any hurt feelings if you can't invite everyone.
Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

This all over.

You don't have to invite everyone who knows about your wedding.

If that were the case, the entire E board would have to invite everyone else. And their spouses.

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-because-doesnt-mean-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:251e8f40-45ce-4785-9dec-e774626de06aPost:eb8f8d5e-1086-4597-950f-e2df427b3053">Re: Just because you know doesn't mean you're invited</a>:
[QUOTE]No. But you may want to have your FI suggest to his mom to stop talking about the wedding because you haven't finalized the guest list yet and don't want any hurt feelings if you can't invite everyone.
Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This exactly.</div>

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-because-doesnt-mean-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:251e8f40-45ce-4785-9dec-e774626de06aPost:eb8f8d5e-1086-4597-950f-e2df427b3053">Re: Just because you know doesn't mean you're invited</a>:
[QUOTE]No. But you may want to have your FI suggest to his mom to stop talking about the wedding because you haven't finalized the guest list yet and don't want any hurt feelings if you can't invite everyone.
Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

100% this.

RamonaFlowers

By that logic, you're obligated to invite every single person that knows you're engaged. So no, you don't need to invite these people.

But like PP said, your FI really should say something to his mom about waiting for the guest list to be finalized before she goes talking to her entire family about how excited she is to see them at the wedding.

mollyehren

Only obligated to invite them if your parents are paying for the wedding

volleygurl0306

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-because-doesnt-mean-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:251e8f40-45ce-4785-9dec-e774626de06aPost:81e91624-f342-488d-97a1-81e51b1255cb">Re: Just because you know doesn't mean you're invited</a>:
[QUOTE]Only obligated to invite them if your parents are paying for the wedding
Posted by mollyehren[/QUOTE]

Almost this....you are only obligated to invite if HIS parents are paying.  Just because your parents are paying doesn't mean his side should get to invite everyone they know.  If his parents are paying for everything you have to roll with it.  If it is a split bill or they are paying for nothing, stick to your guns about the number of people you want.  I have this exact same problem but my FI's parents are giving us a set amount of $ and we pay the rest.  So when his mom started telling everyone they'd be invited we said we'd be cutting the guest list (we wanted small anyway) or they'd have to cover the extras.

EDIT:  I should rephrase, we never asked for more money.  We said we appreciate what you gave us but with all the expenses that only covers 40 people so we can't afford to cover 2nd, 3rd cousins, etc. on our own. 

tyleet87

Just say you are having a small, intimate wedding. So no one gets their hopes up.

MichelleL8707

Unfortunately, I can't get him to change his mind now. It didn't help that we seen them on Christmas Eve and they were talking about it. Although I did over hear him saying something about me being in charge but that clearly isn't the case. So as it sits we have about 78 guests. 28% being my side and the other 72% being his including friends. I was really hoping for a smaller wedding but I cannot make him change his mind.