Wedding Etiquette Forum

The drama never ends, please help (long)

So, Fi and I decided to get married at City Hall NYC then rent out a private room in a restaurant to have a lunch reception.  We will be inviting no more than 30 people.  

Here's the problem:  You cannot make appointments at City, it's first come first serve.  We estimate that we will have to wait between 1-1.5 hours from the moment we arrive to City Hall to when we enter the chapel.  MY mom and sister (MOH) think it's too long to have our guests waiting.  I mentioned doing some kind of activity packet as a favor so our guests could have something to help pass the time.  Also, we're hiring a photographer, so we'll be taking photos during that time too.  Still, my mom and MOH think it's a bad idea and we should scrap City Hall.

FI's only request has been that we go to City Hall.  I really want to do it so that he is happy.  Still, I don't want our guests to be inconvenienced.  

So, I was thinking what if my FI and I arrived at say 10:30 am and asked our guests to arrive at 11:00.  This would cut down on the waiting time for them.  Is that silly?  Then we could schedule the lunch at about 12:30.  The gap in between the ceremony and reception would be used to take photos in the area, including the Brooklyn Bridge (if there is time).  

I know I still have a lot of time to go, but if I'm going to have to come up with a new idea, I need to know ASAP.  

I really appreciate any ideas or suggestions.  I'm truly at a loss.  

Re: The drama never ends, please help (long)

  • So, Fi and I decided to get married at City Hall NYC then rent out a private room in a restaurant to have a lunch reception.  We will be inviting no more than 30 people.  

    Here's the problem:  You cannot make appointments at City, it's first come first serve.  We estimate that we will have to wait between 1-1.5 hours from the moment we arrive to City Hall to when we enter the chapel.  MY mom and sister (MOH) think it's too long to have our guests waiting.  I mentioned doing some kind of activity packet as a favor so our guests could have something to help pass the time.  Also, we're hiring a photographer, so we'll be taking photos during that time too.  Still, my mom and MOH think it's a bad idea and we should scrap City Hall.

    FI's only request has been that we go to City Hall.  I really want to do it so that he is happy.  Still, I don't want our guests to be inconvenienced.  

    So, I was thinking what if my FI and I arrived at say 10:30 am and asked our guests to arrive at 11:00.  This would cut down on the waiting time for them.  Is that silly?  Then we could schedule the lunch at about 12:30.  The gap in between the ceremony and reception would be used to take photos in the area, including the Brooklyn Bridge (if there is time).  

    I know I still have a lot of time to go, but if I'm going to have to come up with a new idea, I need to know ASAP.  

    I really appreciate any ideas or suggestions.  I'm truly at a loss.  

  • My suggestion is to ask Julez. 
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  • edited December 2009
    She said that it took her about an hour from when she arrived to when she entered the chapel.  That's where I got the estimate from.  I added an extra 30 minutes because it will be the summer, which might mean more people are getting married.  
  • From my own experience, I don't think anyone we had with us minded hanging out for how ever long it took us to get in the chapel (which was about an hour).  They all just hung out and talked with us and each other.

    Any way you can get your mom and MOH to calm down about this.  IMO it's really not that big of a deal to have everyone waiting with you.  PLENTY of other people do it everyday there.  And you never know how long it's going to take.  Our wait time was much quicker than we anticipated. 

    Just in case you guys do decide to go early, be sure to have your witness there with you.  You all three have to be together with IDs to check in at City Hall and get your number. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama-never-ends-please-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:256caac1-4688-444b-a32e-403419305171Post:d79ff722-df08-4a40-b8c7-689aa589d8e4">Re: The drama never ends, please help (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]From my own experience, I don't think anyone we had with us minded hanging out for how ever long it took us to get in the chapel (which was about an hour).  They all just hung out and talked with us and each other. Any way you can get your mom and MOH to calm down about this.  IMO it's really not that big of a deal to have everyone waiting with you.  PLENTY of other people do it everyday there.  And you never know how long it's going to take.  Our wait time was much quicker than we anticipated.  Just in case you guys do decide to go early, be sure to have your witness there with you.  You all three have to be together with IDs to check in at City Hall and get your number. 
    Posted by julezlee[/QUOTE]
    I really appreciate this advice.  I basically said to my mom and MOH that they probably wouldn't mind too much.  It's really only going to be family and who can't chat for a while?  I personally think that they both just hate the idea of City Hall and really want me to do something else.  
  • That sucks.  My dad was totally opposed to City Hall as well and actually offered to pay for us to have it "anywhere other than City Hall."  Hopefully, you can make it clear to them that this is what you and your FI want to do and you want their support and they'll give it.  I really talked up the renovation to my parents, sent them photos and the NY Times article from when it was unveiled.  I don't think it was anywhere near their ideal setting for my wedding but I made it very clear how excited we were and they got the point that they needed to STFU. 

    All of your guests will be totally fine hanging out for an hour.  Especially since you guys are going to lunch afterwards.  Everyone will probably enjoy the time to talk with you and share in the excitement.  That's how our guests were and that's how it looked like every other guest at City Hall felt.

    GL! 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama-never-ends-please-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:256caac1-4688-444b-a32e-403419305171Post:3a83821e-e1ee-485d-98d9-4453f9339fd3">Re: The drama never ends, please help (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]That sucks.  My dad was totally opposed to City Hall as well and actually offered to pay for us to have it "anywhere other than City Hall."  Hopefully, you can make it clear to them that this is what you and your FI want to do and you want their support and they'll give it.  I really talked up the renovation to my parents, sent them photos and the NY Times article from when it was unveiled.  I don't think it was anywhere near their ideal setting for my wedding but I made it very clear how excited we were and they got the point that they needed to STFU.  All of your guests will be totally fine hanging out for an hour.  Especially since you guys are going to lunch afterwards.  Everyone will probably enjoy the time to talk with you and share in the excitement.  That's how our guests were and that's how it looked like every other guest at City Hall felt. GL! 
    Posted by julezlee[/QUOTE]<div>Thanks a million.  I did mention that they renovated City Hall and it looks great.  I may show them pictures later.  Hopefully they'll come around. </div><div>
    </div><div> I know that it's hard to tell since I post on TK often, but IRL I'm actually reluctant to talk about wedding planning too much.  We do have a lot of time and right now, FI and I are in the early planning/money saving stage.  I figured that these things would come up later.  It just seems that every time I see them, the wedding and planning questions come up.  I'm so frustrated.  

    </div>
  • Is there any way you can feed/entertain your guests during the wait?  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama-never-ends-please-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:256caac1-4688-444b-a32e-403419305171Post:65be133a-bf98-4fbd-a383-173a8d9eb9fb">Re: The drama never ends, please help (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is there any way you can feed/entertain your guests during the wait?  
    Posted by ExpatPumpkin[/QUOTE]
    I don't think that we would be allowed to bring in food.  I did have an idea to make up bags with activities to do, like word searches, sudoku, and include a magazine like the New York Magazine or something.  
  • I don't think you need to provide them with crosswords, etc.  Those are really activities for people killing time on their own...  I'm sure they'll be happy to visit with each other.  But if you could offer refreshments in the meanwhile, that would be nice.  You're probably not allowed to though, right?  Julez would know :)
  • I honestly don't know about whether or not refreshments are allowed.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_drama-never-ends-please-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:256caac1-4688-444b-a32e-403419305171Post:81fc094e-fc57-4804-b2b7-b013326310b1">Re: The drama never ends, please help (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think you need to provide them with crosswords, etc.  Those are really activities for people killing time on their own...  I'm sure they'll be happy to visit with each other.  But if you could offer refreshments in the meanwhile, that would be nice.  You're probably not allowed to though, right?  Julez would know :)
    Posted by ExpatPumpkin[/QUOTE]
    I can double check, but I'm pretty sure you can't bring in food and drinks, most city building don't allow it (other than for workers).
  • The only thing I'd suggest is to let people know that they'll be doing some standing and walking around.  I would want to know that in advance so I could wear the right shoes.
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