Bachelorette party the night before?

Lylad

My sister has very kindly offered to throw me a bachlorette party, and she'd like to know which date would be better - the Friday night before the (Saturday) wedding, or the weekend before.  While it seems unideal to go out drinking the night before the wedding, several of my out-of-town friends would only be able to attend if it were the night before.

I'm leaning towards the night before, because I'd rather have these friends there, and I could simply not drink too much.  I'm including a poll to see what others would do.

Also, having the party the night before means changing the rehearsal dinner.  Is there anything wrong with having the rehearsal dinner a week before the wedding, that I'm unaware of?

Thanks for your input!

Lylad

(Sorry, typo in the poll. *present, not preset.)

FutureMrsTR

Well, the rehearsal dinner is to feed the people who were at your rehearsal.  Are you planning on having the rehearsal a week early?  That seems odd.

Lylad

Right, the rehearsal dinner would accompany the rehearsal.  I know it's not normal to have it a week before instead of the night before, but what would the negative consequences be?  Not implying there aren't any, just don't know what they are.

Moneypenny424

Yeah, how are you having the rehearsal a week beforehand?  That seems really odd.  I mean, a couple days before is one thing, but a week seems off.

I was in bed by 11pm the night before the wedding.  I wanted to be well rested and look great the next day.  No way would I have had my bachelorette party the night before.

danieliza1127

I would not have the RD a whole week early just to accommodate the bachelorette party.

What about going out with the girls after the RD?  That's what we did for my best friend and it worked out just fine.

soontobehimes

I would definitely not have the rehearsal and RD a week before the wedding. I can see why you would want all of your friends to be there, but it doesn't seem too realistic.
Personally, I got *intoxicated* and wanted it that way at my bachelorette party.. I didn't want to call it early  for any reason. I'd do it the week before.

Lylad

Yea, unfortunately the rehearsal and the accompanying dinner can't be just a couple days before (well, I guess it could...) because my sister (MOH) lives out of state for grad school, and can't come up during the week.

Bachelorette party after RD would be a possibility, although MOH has to take the train up after her finals that Friday, and won't get in until 8ish.  Rehearsal, RD, and bachelorette party seems a little much to start all that late.

So far it looks like most people would do it the week before, sans-some friends.  Hm.

MattsPenguin

Totally agree with Himes.  I don't trust myself to stay sober enough to be fully functional the next day.  Especially since it's one of the most important days of your life, you want to feel (and look) your best. 

Do it the week before, and then hang out with you friends after the RD.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I can understand that you want more of your friends to be there - I just wouldn't want to risk being tired and/or hungover on my wedding day.

NIKIKRUISE

Even if YOU don't get completly wasted...what about all your friends ( and bridal party) who will be out with you? Do you think they will stay sober like you? That's not like any bachelorette party I've ever been to. I don't think you would want your bridal party and good friends  to all be hung over for you wedding day! (and pictures!)

I would definetly not do it the night before the wedding....

noodle_oo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-party-night-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:257a0b78-1bd6-405b-afb6-db59c6cad5ebPost:26ce0015-fd8a-4aad-9b46-8f58830503d2">Re: Bachelorette party the night before?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would not have the RD a whole week early just to accommodate the bachelorette party. What about going out with the girls after the RD?  That's what we did for my best friend and it worked out just fine.
Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

I feel like moving the RD a week earlier to accomodate the BP seems a little selfish and like you have your priorities backwards.  I would do the BP with the girls that can make it the weekend before.  Then have the RD Friday night and maybe go out for a low key thing with the rest of the girls that night.  Then get to bed early so I wouldn't be exhausted for the wedding!

Having the RD a week earlier is just weird.  At the RD, that's when family get all excited for the wedding.  I think it is fine to do it like Wed or Thur before the wedding, but a whole week earlier seems so odd.  Especially when people find out you moved it for the BP, they will judge your priorities.

Knittibell

Mine was the night before, but it was really laid back, and small. Why not go out for drinks with the girls after the RD?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-party-night-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:257a0b78-1bd6-405b-afb6-db59c6cad5ebPost:204de79a-46bc-4f2b-a17c-f95f3d1da700">Re: Bachelorette party the night before?</a>:
[QUOTE]Right, the rehearsal dinner would accompany the rehearsal.  I know it's not normal to have it a week before instead of the night before, but what would the negative consequences be?  Not implying there aren't any, just don't know what they are.
Posted by Lylad[/QUOTE]

Well, the OOT BMs/friends would have to come in for the RD anyway, right?

IMO, you are inconveniencing a heck of a lot more people by having an RD a week early. You're pretty much asking people to set aside 2 weekends for your wedding. An RD, to me, is more important (and bigger) than a bachelorette.

Lylad

Well, the rehearsal dinner hasn't even been planned yet.  It will be a pretty low-key thing, and neither of our families will be there.  In fact, both of our parents will probably be entertaining out-of-town family, and told us that they don't need to be there. 

So, since nothing's been planned, I don't think 'selfish' is the word I'd use to describe scheduling the rehearsal a week early.  Weird, perhaps.

But, thanks for all the feedback!  It looks like nobody thinks the night before is a good idea, so I'll bring this up with my sister.  It's true that I can just hang out with the out-of-town friends without a big party going on.

Lylad

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bachelorette-party-night-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:257a0b78-1bd6-405b-afb6-db59c6cad5ebPost:f1bf5cb5-9d57-486c-a0f9-33d8ba9dd330">Re: Bachelorette party the night before?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachelorette party the night before? : Well, the OOT BMs/friends would have to come in for the RD anyway, right? IMO, you are inconveniencing a heck of a lot more people by having an RD a week early. You're pretty much asking people to set aside 2 weekends for your wedding. An RD, to me, is more important (and bigger) than a bachelorette.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Actually, only one bridesmaid is out of town (my sister), and she'd be coming in both weekends regardless.  So, only one person would be inconvenienced by this (one of the groomsmen).  But that is a good point, and a good reason for keeping the RD the night before.

[Deleted User]

I didn't have a bach party, but knowing my friends, I wouldn't have had one the night before. I don't drink, but they certainly do and would be hungover the next day. Better safe than sorry on that one.

As for the RD, it doesn't make sense to have it a week before. RDs are typically closer to the wedding, either the night before or maybe a day earlier. It doesn't matter if your entire party can't make it.

polichik

Can you do the b-party the night before the rehearsal dinner, as in two nights before the wedding? That's what I'm doing, and it works out so that the OOT bridesmaids can attend but doesn't keep me up late the night before the wedding.

I don't know about you, but even if I have a few drinks one night, I look like crap the next day. So not going to happen the night before my wedding!

Lylad

poli - actually, we wanted to do it two nights before, but then my sister/MOH found out that she has finals the next day (Friday), which is why we are considering the other days.  Otherwise, that would be ideal.

Simply Fated

Definitely the week before. The night before, I would rather get a good nights sleep.

srkropf

wow-- bacherlorette party the night before the wedding-- WORST IDEA EVER-- IMO. Go with the weekend before

Theresa626

Do not change the rehearsal dinner. that would suck for everyone else.  Also, b party the night before is a terrible terrible idea.  you need sleep and also you should feel free to drink at your b party.  

pooh8402

weekend before! I didn't even want to move the day after my bachelorette party, much less get pretty and then get married in the hot sun. besides, I think the RD takes priority.

if everyone can't make it to the bachelorette party, so what?

swim1011

I only skimmed the first couple of answers, but please don't do it the night before.  At a wedding my DH was in a couple summers ago, they did the bachelor party the night before, bc that's when everyone was in town.  The groom came to our hotel room in the morning for his tux, and probably threw up 3 times in the half hour he was there.  Not attractive.  I do not recommend going this route if you can avoid it. 

Meg1979

I always think of America's Funniest Home Videos when I think of bacherlorette parties the night before.  You know, where the bride or the groom keels over because the night before was too fun?  I would steer clear of that and go with a week early.