cash bar

Anthriel22

I agree that the cash bar is fine.  I am in the same circumstance where my venue will not shut down the bar after my cocktail reception.  I think people will have fun regardless of whether or not they get a bunch of free booze.  I also want to point out that having a cash bar does not "require" people to pay.  They can drink what is offered to them instead.  I will have wine on the tables which hopefully will suffice!

coco_chanell

I agree with Amoro "it is what it is". I'd say go with what you can afford becuase those who matter won't mind, and those who mind won't matter. It's YOUR day!

cwcottage

If you are not having alcohol served but guests can get drinks at the venues bar then it's not really a "cash bar". A cash bar is where YOU have drinks available and guests have to pay. Having the venue bar open is just an option for the guests.

We are doing something similar. We are having the venue provide beer and wine at about $2 a drink. Cocktails would have been $5 a drink. The venue will have their pub downstairs open during the evening so if guests are so inclined they can mosey on down and get a drink.

cwcottage

Hey, they can even play pool, darts or whatever and order food if they want to as well lol

SarahSmile23

i'm really happy that when i first started posting here people told me not to have a cash bar. i was considering it to save money, but it felt so good to be a polite, gracious hostess and provide for my guests. i had to pick up some extra hours at work, but we made it happen.

as a guest, i'm happy to have access to alcohol. i'd prefer a cash bar to no bar. but as a hostess, i'm glad i provided the alcohol. it's worth it.

Lenore2010

It is really a mute point for you because the bar is open and the bar is cash and you are committed to your venue and you can't afford to host alcohol period.

I am not a fan of the cash bar, and I would definitely never plan to have one but I see them frequently and I never felt horribly put out by them. Actually, what gets me more are those dinner hour, appetizer only weddings. 

The frightening cost of weddings is leading people to do some odd things.

srkropf

Have all the people you love, have the cash bar, have a great time-- and ignore anyone who thinks they should complain about anything to the bride at her own wedding.

SarahSmile23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:3798bb74-1f07-49b7-a670-a7467e81b117">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]It is really a mute point for you because the bar is open and the bar is cash and you are committed to your venue and you can't afford to host alcohol period. I am not a fan of the cash bar, and I would definitely never plan to have one but I see them frequently and I never felt horribly put out by them. Actually, what gets me more are those dinner hour, appetizer only weddings.  <strong>The frightening cost of weddings is leading people to do some odd things.</strong>
Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]

like save until they can afford it? there's a novel thought!

goheels05

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:10be4d58-4dba-4132-b820-f21e6c997e40">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: cash bar : like save until they can afford it? there's a novel thought!
Posted by SarahSmile23[/QUOTE]

Ha! 

If I'm reading this correctly, there isn't really a question, you are just stating what you are doing.

The response you are getting is that some people are offended and some people aren't, but from an etiquette standpoint, the proper thing to do is host the bar or don't have alcohol.  If those options were not possible with one of the venues we considered, we would have crossed it off the list, even if it was the cheapest.

And as a guest, I wouldn't care if the B&G had to cut me so that they could be polite to the guests they could afford to invite.  If I'm someone who got cut, chances are we weren't super close to begin with.  If that meant I only get to go to 2 weddings this summer instead of 5, cool.  That's 3 fewer gifts, tanks of gas, money to the pet sitter, and possibly new dresses.

SarahSmile23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_cash-bar-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:25840bbd-77ef-431e-863e-261f98e27ec4Post:fee8ac7f-075f-42df-9ce1-d0144b643b3f">Re: cash bar</a>:
[QUOTE]if you're limited on money and can only afford what you really need/want, then why waste your money for other people to get drunk, especially if it takes away people you want to have there but would have to sacrifice having attend.  I don't understand peoples need to have alcohol in general!?! So if they need/want it, let them fork the tab.
Posted by SoccerCFB02[/QUOTE]

yeah! and dinner too! if they are hungry, let them fork the tab!

angruz

I totally agree!!  You are asking people to come from not just out of town but other parts of the world for your wedding so they are paying travel expenses, buy you a gift and shower gifts.  The LEAST you can do is provide alcohol.  

Maybe do less flowers if you don't want to cut people.