People adding extra guests to RSVP cards

panda10

My FI and I invited the max amount of people (our fault) and we tried by shaving parties down buy just inviting Mr. and Mrs. and no and family if they have adult children. (We thought this was fair and people would understand)
Well I'm getting my RSVP cards back and people are adding people to their cards that aren't invited. One couple added their 2 adult children, 3 other families added their adult child (20-23 years old) AND also wrote a spot for their boyfriends. (Neither one of the girls have been dating them for very long).

Obviously we're going to accommodate these people, and in the great scheme of things it's not a huge deal, but I just wonder where people get the idea they can add in people, especially these 3 boyfriends we've never met!
Has anyone else had this problem or is it just me?

Thanks!

quotequeen

A lot of people have this problem, and you don't have to accommodate them.  You call them up and say "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, but the invitation was only for X and Y.  We hope you will still be able to make it."

JennandJoel2010

Why would you accommodate them? You invited Mr. and Mrs. Smith, not their entire family plus some.  I agree with the PP, call and let them know they cannot come. What if you start to received more RSVPs like this one, and realize you've outgrown your reception since you invited the max amount to begin with?

landra310s

I would not accomodate these people.  Just like the others have said, call them and say sorry for the misunderstanding but only X and Y are invited.  I'm sure I'll be running into this problem soon enough, and I definitely won't be accomodating any extra's, weddings cost too much as it is! 

KEP_031509

Some of our guests added people to their rsvp cards. It kinda irritated me but it ended up only being two extra people so I let it go.

I would definitely speak up in your situation though.

danieliza1127

You don't have to accommodate them at all.  This happens all the time.  You or your FI just need to call the people and nicely explain that the invite was intended for them only and you can' t accommodate extra guests.

ohwhynot

Funny enough, this hasn't happened to us yet.  I'm fully prepared to make the phone calls if it does - I honestly don't know how people can think that's okay. 

psichick

i'm waiting to start making these calls. invitations went out tuesday so we should start getting them back soon. i'm so dreading it. 

[Deleted User]

Why are you going to accomodate them? Call them and say the invitation was only for X and X, not the extra people they added on. If your venue can only hold a certain number of people then you are compeltely justified in that.

It's interesting that so many people have this issue. We didn't come across this at all. The closest we came was when 2 moms left during the reception to go pick up their kids (2 girls around 3 or so) and came back. But it was towards the end so it didn't really matter. Plus I didn't even notice until they were leaving.

No, I take it back. One couple brought their little boy, about 2, when they'd told us he would be with a sitter. But he was really good, and when DH and I were doing our first dance he stood on the sidelines and swayed with the music. It was really cute.

loop0406

if you just invited 2 people and that was clearly stated on the rsvp card, you should not have to accomodate any of their extra guests...

rbtrumpet

When FI and I first started dating (about 2 months after we started dating), I was told I could not add him as a guest on a RSVP because only I had been invited (the couple did not know him at the time).

I thought that was a little rude, but got over it, went to their wedding had lots of fun, and FI and I are both now friends with this couple.

You have EVERY right to tell people that they cannot add extra guests to the RSVPs - especially adult children and their boyfriends!  IMHO

Pirata13

I wouldn't accommodate these people at all.  Call them and tell them that you're sorry, but you have limited space and the invite was only for X & Y.  If any of these people converse with other guests in the same situation, they may say "just add them on--we did and they are letting them come". 

I can't believe people do this. We have *knock on wood* not had this experience yet with any of ours.  And I am hoping we don't.  But it's only the first week we are getting them so who knows.

But I vote stick to your guns and tell them no.

zobogo

i'm really concerned with this happening as well when i send out my invites & i'm preparing to have to make those calls (but really dreading it).  we are at absolute max capacity as it is so we have no leeway for those extra add-ons.

AF318

I wouldn't accommodate them. You blatently invited only the Mr. & Mrs. they should respect that. If you wanted to invite the whole family you would have written and family. My cousin had responded to our wedding and wrote + Guest so I poiltely told him that unfortuantely due to the size of the guest list we were unable to accommodate a guest also. He was fine with that. If they really want to be there they'll be there and if they have a problem with it then that stinks for them! Remember its YOUR WEDDING!

AF318

oh and we're having an adult reception and some people are trying to give us the feel bad for us and let us bring our daughter route... you just have to stick to your guns or it will get out of control! If they can't come, they can't come!

sjnsjnsjn

People have done that to us, and we told them 'no, sorry, no room for your added guests'...

Kristin789

I have never heard of this in real like, just in TKWorld, so I don't think it's common at all. 

And the pp's are right:  these are not demands.  If your parents' names are on the top line of your invitation, then your parents are hosting the event and extending the invitation to the guests.  Have your mom call these people - she's the host of the event.  It's been my experience that people think they can manipulate a young person, but when someone their own age calls, they back off.

aragx6

Does everyone think that "___ seats have been reserved for you" or something similar on the RSVP helps to prevent this? I hope to have to make as few of these awkward calls as possible!