Wedding Announcements

sweetjane89

My Fiance and I are having a small wedding so many of our family and friends will not be invited. What are your opinions on sending announcement cards to those who could not be there or weren't invited? Are they o.k. or should a newspaper announcement suffice. I don't think it's enough as were on good terms with most of them, but not close enough to feel they  eed to be there on the big day, which may very well be a destination wedding (intimate nonetheless). I don't want to send the vibe like "ha-ha you weren't invited!"

Avion22

I think it's fine to send an announcement out after a very small wedding/elopment.  These are typically sent out the day after the wedding (or up to a week would be okay, if  it's a DW).   All it has to say is:

Jane Smith and Robert Jones

happily announce that they were married

in a private ceremony

on Saturday the 21st of January

two thousand eleven

Boston, Massachusets

If you're not on good terms with people, then I don't see any point in sending them a wedding announcement.  These are generally people who you would have invited under different circumstances.   

Some people think this is gift-grabby ("Ha-ha, you weren't invited, but please send us a gift anyway!") but as long as there is no "wedding website" and any registries have been taken down, then I don't think it's gift-grabby at all.

FWIW, my first wedding was a private ceremony (parents, siblings, grandparents only, so about 12 people), and we sent out announcements to family members (aunts, uncles, cousins) who weren't invited.  A few close friends also got announcements.   I'm pretty sure nobody was offended, and while we got a few cards from people, nobody sent gifts (we dind't want any, so that was a good thing).   

tenofcups4me

Ditto Avion. I have received announcements from couples who had very small weddings. Dh and I also sent announcements (we had 13 people at our wedding). Personally, I wouldn't send them if your wedding is much larger than that, but for a very small wedding, I think it's a nice way to share with friends and family who you would have invited had you chosen a larger wedding.

sweetjane89

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-announcements-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:27049aa8-6e7e-43e0-a36e-408263f5b4f9Post:f8cf1140-85a2-4f12-8333-f5c8986faed2">Re: Wedding Announcements</a>:
[QUOTE]It's fine to send them out.  Wedding announcements are exactly that....to announce that a marriage has taken place to relatives who won't be in attendance, business acquaintances and friends who will need to know that you're married. <strong>They are NOT, and never have been, a solicitation for a gift.  That's called an invoice.</strong>
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

HAHA yes, I can see your point, so I am glad that it was mentioned to make sure we remove registries before sending these! And on the poeple not "on good terms"...they'll still have to get one I am sure...just some iInteresting family dynamics over here....<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />