Been Hanging around here too long.

ftrmrsw

I just noticed a girl on FB has a new name. She got engaged this summer and last I heard they were planning for a long engagement and were going to get married in 2014.

Well today I notice she now has her FI's last name. I did a little digging and apparently they announced they got married during a "tie-the-knot" ceremony and are still going ahead with their "planned wedding" in 2014.

WTF.... I think I've been hanging around here a little too long, becuase I'm appalled. 

I overheard she's pregnant, so that must be why they rushed to elope, but really? By the time they have their "planned wedding" they will already be married over a year and a half.

s-aries8990

Not hanging around here too long, just getting the hang of it. She will look like a butt face, and by will I mean does.

beardownbchs

So people are trying to justify this by making "getting married" and "tying the knot" different? SMH...

misssunshine17

I think a lot of people get legally married, then have the 'religious' cememony later. Hellooooo, you're living in sin! If they really cared, they'd do the whole she-bang first. 

I think it's because of all the wedding shows that tell us we HAVE to shop at Kleinfelds, we HAVE to spend money we don't have to hold up appearences. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Yeah... my SIL is having a "religious ceremony" next month and then her "wedding" in August. It's because her FI's parents really, really want them to have some kind of religious ceremony, but she's already booked the venue, which is a gorgeous outdoor area. My in-laws are really pissed, because they're paying a good amount of money towards the wedding in August. And she's only been engaged since November! (And my in-laws are Catholic! But they didn't mind that my H and I didn't have a religious ceremony.) Granted, I don't know if the "religious" ceremony is just a sacrament and they will actually be LEGALLY married later or what.

Grozikn

You know I really hadn't considered that to be that big of a deal until I came to this site. I have several friends or know of ppl who have wed on paper and then planned a big ceremony/reception. There are plenty of reasons ppl decide to do that and it's their choice, and thier families/friends who join them. I have more of a problem with ppl who get married, don't tell anyone, and then have a wedding and reception. At least be honest about it.

zantster

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_been-hanging-around-here-too-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:27801bdc-756c-4f14-a72e-a5a71f859fe4Post:73896b94-aed8-4434-8138-180a280325aa">Re: Been Hanging around here too long.</a>:
[QUOTE]You know I really hadn't considered that to be that big of a deal until I came to this site. I have several friends or know of ppl who have wed on paper and then planned a big ceremony/reception. There are plenty of reasons ppl decide to do that and it's their choice, and thier families/friends who join them. I have more of a problem with ppl who get married, don't tell anyone, and then have a wedding and reception. At least be honest about it.
Posted by Grozikn[/QUOTE]

Some people take offense at those who call the second ceremony their "real wedding" as though the civil marriage is not real.  They believe its offensive to people like my aunt and uncle who only did the JOP at the courthouse and celebrate that as the one and only day they got married 25 years ago.  So are they not really married because they didn't have a big blowout?

I heard about this stuff before this board but don't like when people lie about it or schedule it so far afterwards that it seems insincere to call it a reception and can appear like the couple just wants gifts.  If you live in a country that legally separates the religious ceremony from the civil ceremony like France then it makes sense to distinguish "real/civil" from religious.  But the US is not one of those countries so the only motivation has to be wanting a big party with all the fixings and attention on you and if that's the case then be an adult and own up to that by saying that's what you want and don't pretend they're the same event because they're not.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'm having trouble coming up with even one reason for two weddings, let alone "plenty of reasons." You can choose to have a small wedding quickly, or wait and do the large wedding later, while foregoing whatever you want to be married right now for (separate insurance policies, not living together on base, etc). You can have an outdoor, non-Catholic wedding and upset your family or cave and change your ceremony venue. Whatever. But be an adult and make a decision, even if you won't get everything you want.

Sassenach1743

What's really sad is that the "getting what you want" part of the equation isn't congruent with being married by the end of the day! 

Instead the "what I really want" concept is focused on "how big a party do I get?".

loca4pook

Are those your flowers in your picture? Those are gorgous

ftrmrsw

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_been-hanging-around-here-too-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:27801bdc-756c-4f14-a72e-a5a71f859fe4Post:44db8bff-a2b7-4953-9207-41cd8b5f369d">Re: Been Hanging around here too long.</a>:
[QUOTE]Are those your flowers in your picture? Those are gorgous
Posted by loca4pook[/QUOTE]

<div>Are you talking about my post?</div><div>
</div><div>If so, then yes. These are the flowers my florist and I picked for my bouquet and a few months later she posted a photo on her facebook of a bouquet with all the flowers. I love it!</div>