WWED? (apartment stuff)

MattsPenguin

MIdge, I've had that problem with heat, too.  I complained that my apartment in Chicago was too cold (this was January), and then it was never cold again.  I kept a window open most of the time.

Bay, I've got an extra bedroom!  You'd have to commute from Boston, though.  I'm so sorry for how this has been playing out.  You are so strong to recognize the issues and make a change.

Habs2Hart

Bay.  HUGE massive hugs.  Please don't feel like you aren't allowed to be upset.  Things will get better, but you are more than allowed to be upset. 

ErinG93

I think you should go for it. I would hate to see you miss a chance for an apartment with great potential, especially with MIA landlord at the other possibility. You've said that the rental market is really fast, so jump while you can. I think your peace of mind will make up for potential noise problems.

crash2729

I would move in. The parking sounds like a PITA, but it sounds much better than the way you're living now. FWIW, h and I had our apartment on the busiest street in town. I didn't like it, all the traffic made it hard to hear movies and such. But if it was live with H while we were going through separation or live in that apt, I'd chose the apartment. I haven't been around much lately so I missed that you and H weren't doing well. hugs it'll work out for you.

adamar15

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwed-apartment-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:28762cf6-5104-46b1-9e78-1123e5c48b87Post:de8a2c4d-0e6b-44bd-85d2-b2335f167390">Re: WWED? (apartment stuff)</a>:
[QUOTE]Gold for everyone!
Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

You're welcome.

angelstar975

Bay, I would think it would be more strange if you weren't getting upset at all... even though your H is being a douche, from what I understand, he was a good guy once (or at least acted like one) and you loved each other. You aren't supposed to be okay right now. You're not being childish to wish this wasn't happening. I think you're actually being pretty strong about it. As sad as you are, you're functioning, you're being productive with your apartment search and with your school work, and honestly that's more than I think I could say for myself in that situation.

RupertPenny

I'd take it. I swear nothing is worse than a shitty, tense living situation. I have done that and my anxiety was through the roof. I'm surprised I didn't give myself a heart attack. 

I've also taken some less than awesome apartments because I couldn't find anything "perfect" in my price range and it always works out. I swear you will feel so much better once you give this guy the deposit and don't have to worry about it anymore. I wouldn't wait until Friday either, I'd do it ASAP. 

baystateapple

Thanks everyone.

Midge -- The landlord assured me that even though the heat is paid for, I have a private thermostat and complete control over how hot it gets.

I think I'm going to bank on taking the place, but keep looking for the next few days.  It's not the end of the world if I take it; generally it's a very nice apartment, it's just in a busier area than I wanted (It's very safe though, it's one street down from the university so campus police patrol all day and night), and the parking isn't completely ideal, but it's feasible.

StephBeanWed61502

Bay, I'm sorry you're dealing with a sh!tty situation.  That said, I'm also on team "take the 3-bedroom apartment."  The parking situation is not ideal, but the price-to-space ratio sounds awesome, and I feel like space is pretty key when you have pets (FI and I are in a two-bedroom right now, and I literally could not imagine where we'd fit another body, even if it was a small, furry one).

Oh, and if by some miracle unresponsive-dude calls you back, just say no.  You're trying to to do something that benefits him and he's not answering his calls - imagine how he'll be when you're trying to get him to do something for you.

ETA - Apologies for being about 100 posts late with this - I got distracted mid-type.  Bay, it sounds like you've got it figured out. 

baystateapple

Anna -- the only reason we're waiting til Friday is because I'm completely booked with work or school during the landlord's working hours.  He is going to be in the area on Friday so he said he'd drop by my office.

July2012bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwed-apartment-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28762cf6-5104-46b1-9e78-1123e5c48b87Post:c2266f63-d490-4374-be42-b76ca2e49ed6">Re: WWED? (apartment stuff)</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks everyone. Midge -- The landlord assured me that even though the heat is paid for, I have a private thermostat and complete control over how hot it gets. I think I'm going to bank on taking the place, but keep looking for the next few days.  It's not the end of the world if I take it; generally it's a very nice apartment, it's just in a busier area than I wanted (It's very safe though, it's one street down from the university so campus police patrol all day and night), and the parking isn't completely ideal, but it's feasible.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]
This is probably exactly what I would do.<div>
</div><div>Bay, I hope that whatever happens with the apartment, it brings some peace into your life.  You deserve some tranquility.</div>

polichik

Hugs, Bay. I'd look until Thuraday but plan on taking the apartment. I think it's going to be tough to find a perfect apartment, and what matters is that you get the hell put of there and have your own space. We live in a street facing apartment, and a white noise machine has made it totally doable. You'll have a whole year to heal and scout out te absolute perfect place for the future. I say to go for it. And on a lighter side note, I'm incredibly jealous that you'll be paying 760 a month for a 3 bedroom.

ski2play

Bay, PP are correct, give yourself a break.  I experienced (about 4 years ago) the HUGE relieve that comes with having your own space after living in a tension filled environment.  You will get used to the noise, trust me on this one.  And it looks like you have parking covered.  With the apartment being over top of an attorney's office, you will not have to worry about being quiet at night because no one will be there.   You, yourself, have said how quickly the rental market moves in your area.  Take this one for a year, it is near your work, I assume near your school too.   You have so many big changes coming up, by not changing neighborhoods totally you will have some familiarity.  GWIM?

RupertPenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwed-apartment-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28762cf6-5104-46b1-9e78-1123e5c48b87Post:802153f6-f3b7-47c7-b477-f7edd040bc06">Re: WWED? (apartment stuff)</a>:
[QUOTE]Anna -- the only reason we're waiting til Friday is because I'm completely booked with work or school during the landlord's working hours.  He is going to be in the area on Friday so he said he'd drop by my office.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That makes sense. I'm also used to the crazy rental market here where pretty much if you don't send an application in within the first hour the ad is up you miss out on a place. </div><div>
</div><div>OK, that is an exaggeration but not really that big of one. It's crazy. 

</div>

button6004

I wont be adding much to this, but I just wanted to say that I am really impressed with how together you are despite what is happening.  It really speaks to your character, and you should be proud of yourself for being strong- but it is okay to be upset and let it out.

I would take the 3 bedroom- it sounds like it is super close to work (which is convenient) and you will get used to the noise.  We used to live right off of a major highway in the DC area, and it wasnt until we moved to the most quiet building ever that I realized how noisy it was.  And you'll always have the option to find a roommate if you decide you are too lonely or need the extra rent help.

I hope you do whatever you think is best for you, though.

sarabellam

Massive hugs, Bay. I know for me, some days it was 2 steps forward 1 step back; some days it was 5 steps back, and some days it was all forward. It WILL get better, just not as quickly as you might like. If you need a shoulder, feel free to PM or page me.

baystateapple

I really think my nitpicking is more that I'm freaked out SO MUCH about moving out, living on my own, really putting the kibosh on my marriage (even though it's already fallen apart, and not by my choice).  I probably could have had a perfect place and still would be feeling this way.

Poli -- I love that it's technically NOT a 3-bedroom (a bedroom needs a closet to qualify, and two of those rooms do not have closets).  All the space and none of the extra pricing!  The other thing that's cool is that it has a huge, glassed-in, heated porch, sort of like a sunroom, off the master bedroom.  THAT was a really nice perk. 

See?  I'm already starting to feel better about all of this.  You ladies rock.

ski2play

love Bay.  No you rock!

midgetthemighty

Bay, that's awesome you'd have your own thermostat. Glad he pointed that out. *massive hugs to you* You need to make the best decision for your happiness. I hope it works out very soon!

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwed-apartment-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:28762cf6-5104-46b1-9e78-1123e5c48b87Post:9a45f156-0170-4b10-9cff-c4a3abae03e6">Re: WWED? (apartment stuff)</a>:
[QUOTE]I really think my nitpicking is more that I'm freaked out SO MUCH about moving out, living on my own, really putting the kibosh on my marriage (even though it's already fallen apart, and not by my choice).  I probably could have had a perfect place and still would be feeling this way. Poli -- I love that it's technically NOT a 3-bedroom (a bedroom needs a closet to qualify, and two of those rooms do not have closets).  All the space and none of the extra pricing!  The other thing that's cool is that it has a huge, glassed-in, heated porch, sort of like a sunroom, off the master bedroom.  THAT was a really nice perk.  See?  I'm already starting to feel better about all of this.  You ladies rock.
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

Nitpicking is completely understandable and justified - this situation blows, especially because it's not of your doing.  That said, if you could make a clone of that apartment and send it my way (preferably with the same price-tag) I'd kiss you.  It sounds gorgeous.

baystateapple

Rachers -- I would LOVE to hold a GTG at my place! 

Steph, it is really pretty.  I'm just being a nitpicker

polichik

Bay, the fact that you're able to identify why you're feeling this way is awesome. Of course taking any big steps toward a seperation is going to be scary. Just know that you don't have to do it alone. You're a brave, strong woman, and it's ok to have a hard time sometimes. And yeah, that porch kicks ass. It'll take some time to get used to the idea, but it sounds like a great place for you.

pokepoke27

Bay - I'm late to the party and I know that I'm still new, but I do want to tell you that I think you're awesome. I don't think I could be anywhere near as together are you are in your situation. Just know that I'm sending good happy vibes your way

crash2729

In Response to Re:WWED? apartment stuff:[QUOTE]Bay think of all the extra room you'll have for a TK GTG! :P Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]
I like the way ranchy thinks. :

Also, the sunroom sounds awesome!
It really sounds like a great deal!

mari0225

It sounds great, I would love the sunroom! I think if it gets you out of the situation you are in now then go for it. I am so sorry you are having to go through this!

angelstar975

Off topic, but Mari, you're getting sooo close!!! Are you excited? Is everything finished and ready to go? Is FI's grandmom still being a biitch?

mari0225

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwed-apartment-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28762cf6-5104-46b1-9e78-1123e5c48b87Post:6a3e888d-61e1-4792-ba12-a900e64953e6">Re: WWED? (apartment stuff)</a>:
[QUOTE]Off topic, but Mari, you're getting sooo close!!! Are you excited? Is everything finished and ready to go? Is FI's grandmom still being a biitch?
Posted by angelstar975[/QUOTE]

I am excited and nervous and cannot wait for the big day to just get here already! Haha! Yep we got started early so everything is finished!!!

Ugh yeah she is, she's ignoring FI again.

mandysmear

i like noisy neighbourhoods!  silence is scary for me.  so i am no help.

may25bride2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwed-apartment-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28762cf6-5104-46b1-9e78-1123e5c48b87Post:bd2ff37e-2ed5-4918-a2eb-c258a6ac68af">WWED? (apartment stuff)</a>:
[QUOTE]  The cons to this place, as I've said before, is that it's in a noisier part of town, above a law office, and there's<strong> no parking between 8 AM and 5 PM Monday-Friday.</strong> I have until Friday to decide if I want it, and on Friday he's coming to see me at work to get my deposit to hold the apartment (deposit would be $950).
Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]


This is a deal breaker for me. You should be able to park at your apartment whenever you want. I've never ever heard of that in my life (given I do live in a smaller town, but even in Atlanta, where I lived for awhile, I've never heard of that). I'd stay put until you find something else. Good luck!

may25bride2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wwed-apartment-stuff?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28762cf6-5104-46b1-9e78-1123e5c48b87Post:ccc85a03-91e3-478e-80ee-3b9b48f1d421">Re: WWED? (apartment stuff)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WWED? (apartment stuff) : You're a little late and I get the feeling you didn't read the rest of the thread.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I did read the rest of the thread, actually. There is parking at the church right next to the apartment. It would still be a deal breaker for me. 

</div>