Wedding Etiquette Forum

Toasting Glass Dilemma! ADVICE PLEASE!!!

Okay, so my fiance and I registered for beauuuutiful Vera Wang toasting flutes to use at our wedding, which match the crystal wine glasses we have registered for. We both loved these when we saw them and that's why we registered for them. 

His mom apparently wasn't aware that we registered for them back in October/November and early this year she bought us what she says are beautiful toasting flutes. Problem: they are not my style in the slightest, in fact, if someone had asked me what I thought of them before I owned a pair, I would say they are the tackiest glasses you could have gotten me, but of course now I feel horrible saying that. 

Anyway, so I still was secretly holding out for the nice glasses, hoping that SHE would buy them and then we'd have no worries. But today, MY mom decided to buy them as well as our cake cutting set since our wedding is in a month and no one has bought them yet. 

So here's my dilemma: I feel horrible telling his mom that we don't want to use her's, (she keeps saying she wants to "have a part in the wedding", which I don't get because we are including her more than usual), especially since she has a lot of health problems right now...But I don't want MY mom to feel bad that she just bought us an expensive gift that we can't use even though those are the ones I truly want to use and to have in all of the pictures...

What would you do??? Do you think she would take offense to us using the first glasses at the rehearsal dinner and then the expensive ones at the wedding? Please help!
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Re: Toasting Glass Dilemma! ADVICE PLEASE!!!

  • Use her glasses at the rehearsal and the others at the wedding. I think this is one thing that no one would really notice anyways.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_toasting-glass-dilemma-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28ec5786-3040-47e3-b60b-406d808d9e79Post:00f9abed-e083-485b-a7e0-630d1bc41383">Re: Toasting Glass Dilemma! ADVICE PLEASE!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Use her glasses at the rehearsal and the others at the wedding. I think this is one thing that no one would really notice anyways.
    Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.</div>
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  • If she takes offense that is her issue. I agree that you should use them at the RD and thank her for her thoughtfulness. Then use the ones you really wanted during the wedding reception.

    image
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_toasting-glass-dilemma-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28ec5786-3040-47e3-b60b-406d808d9e79Post:00f9abed-e083-485b-a7e0-630d1bc41383">Re: Toasting Glass Dilemma! ADVICE PLEASE!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Use her glasses at the rehearsal and the others at the wedding. I think this is one thing that no one would really notice anyways.
    Posted by ahhhitsshannyn[/QUOTE]


    This.
    Just make sure that if your photographer takes a shot of the flutes at the wedding, you don't put that pic in your FMIL's photobook. 

    I have a similar issue...my FMIL, as our engagement gift, bought us (what I consider) the most hideous toasting flutes ever. But I smiled and said thank you. I am secretly hoping that they do not survive the trip to our DW.
    image


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_toasting-glass-dilemma-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28ec5786-3040-47e3-b60b-406d808d9e79Post:1c564fb7-a69e-4bfc-9e1d-0fb7ec8a68cc">Re: Toasting Glass Dilemma! ADVICE PLEASE!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am secretly hoping that they do not survive the trip to our DW.
    Posted by mgem8[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Not to thread-jack, but maybe they could meet an accident?  I know a guy.  </div>
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  • I personally would feel so pressured to use the glasses that my FMIL had bought. I know how much it would mean to her for us to use them during the reception. But I think it is entirely up to you which ones you use. If you do decide to use hers for the rehearsal dinner, it might not hurt to explain to her the circumstances of the set your mother bought, and how you want to use both, just for different events? 
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  • FSIL had a similar problem with a cake knife.  She "forgot" to bring the one her mother bought her, and her MIL happened to have the heirloom set already engraved.  What a coincidence.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_toasting-glass-dilemma-advice-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28ec5786-3040-47e3-b60b-406d808d9e79Post:166872ab-9071-42c7-8111-dbda71eaf265">Re: Toasting Glass Dilemma! ADVICE PLEASE!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Toasting Glass Dilemma! ADVICE PLEASE!!! : Not to thread-jack, but maybe they could meet an accident?  I know a guy.  
    Posted by CrzyCatLady[/QUOTE]

    <div>Bahhaaha!</div>
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  • FI and I also registered for some beautiful Vera Wang toasting flutes, kinda funny.  I have been told that FI's grandmother has bought some other ones and has gotten them engraved along with a cake cutting set, and she plans to give them to us at the shower in a couple weeks.  I was originally kind of annoyed, because we had specifically picked out the ones we wanted that match the rest of the crystal we registered for.  It seems like a waste since we will only use them for one day and then use the other ones for any other special occasion, but I know it will mean a lot to her to see us using them at the wedding. 

    I think it would be a good compromise to use the cake cutting set your mom got you and the toasting flutes that your FMIL gave you at the wedding.  If you don't think she will mind, you can use the not-so-tasteful ones at the rehearsal dinner instead like other PPs have suggested, but try to get a couple pictures of you two using them for her.
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