Wedding Etiquette Forum

Ceremony yes wedding no

My boyfriend wants to have a ceremony but not a reception. I'm ok wtih that kind of but I want to do something after the ceremony with the guests, any ideas?

Re: Ceremony yes wedding no

  • Sure, if you keep it small, go out to lunch or a nice dinner with 10-20 of your closest family/friends.  Or go back to your house for a BBQ.
  • Going out to a nice dinner afterward?  Pretty much anything right after the ceremony is going to be considered a "reception" unless you go out  bowling or something... What is it about receptions that he doesnt like/doesnt want? I'd have more ideas if I knew what he was trying to stay away from.
  • Maybe just keep it really small, and then have everyone out to dinner after.  You would pay for dinner of course, but it would keep the hoopla to a minimum.
  • You could do cake and punch at the church right afterwards so you can mingle with the guests and they can leave after they socialize for a bit.
  • If you invite guests you have to receive them.  But the reception can take pretty much any form you want, as long as you have refreshments that are appropriate to the time of day, and paid for by you.
    Married 10/2/10
  • If you want to do something with your guests after the ceremony, doesn't that mean you are having a reception? What is the problem with having a reception?
  • What is it about a reception that he doesn't want?  If it's that he doesn't want to spend any money on it, then you'll need to skip having a WP or inviting guests to the ceremony, too.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • The best thing is to find out what he doesn't like about the reception to see if there is a compromise.  There are so many ways to celebrate a marriage that are not the "traditional" reception.
  • We are doing the same thing, ceremony, no reception. We are having a small (30 people, all immediate family) ceremony, with no bridal party. We are actually holding our beach ceremony during a "joint-family vacation" so no one is out of any expense because we have all planned this vaca already.

    We plan on doing some kind of dinner afterward, just something small, not "reception" type.

    Where are you getting married? If it's a house/beach/court house or somewhere very simple, plain and intimate, I think you could get away without having a reception.

    We are also not getting gifts, specifically asking everyone to not give us anything (it's immediate family, so we can do this)  It's their presence we want for our ceremony, so I don't feel like I "owe" them a reception, but I'd like to go out to eat after, and possibly pay for it.

    Something similar to what I am doing, may work perfectly for you to not have a reception, but I'm curious as to why FI doesn't want one.
  • Thank you for your advise. Well he believes that instead of spending that money on other people we should spend it on our honeymoon. But i still want to cut a cake n do a toast but I dont know where I'll be able to do that, because I know a church doesnt have that. Ceremony will be around 100 people after probably about 75 but I dont know where we could take them. Any ideas? Thank you
  • Do you know of any chrch that allows you to do that in Miami, I thought they wouldnt have that. Thank you
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ceremony-yes-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:28f03bd3-5a4b-4f84-b071-6b27d405155aPost:abe2004b-d148-47d9-bdea-a8a989a1b6a9">Re: Ceremony yes wedding no</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you for your advise. <strong>Well he believes that instead of spending that money on other people we should spend it on our honeymoon.</strong> But i still want to cut a cake n do a toast but I dont know where I'll be able to do that, because I know a church doesnt have that. Ceremony will be around 100 people after probably about 75 but I dont know where we could take them. Any ideas? Thank you
    Posted by Lisi89[/QUOTE]

    If you're asking people to come see you get married (and most likely get you a gift), you need to thank them in some way, which is what a reception is for. If your boyfriend doesn't want to "spend money on other people," you need to have a private ceremony. It's rude to not "receive" your guests in some way (even if it's just cake and punch) at a reception.

    So, have a private ceremony, or if you really want 100 people at your ceremony, you need to have some kind of a reception, which can be done very affordably.
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