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Bridal Shower

ChristianeFChristianeF member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I am getting married on an island just a small ceremony.  About 30 people were invited.  Some of my family members cannot make the ceremony and want to throw me a big bridal shower.  They want me to invite everyone I know.  I think it is rude to invite guests to a shower that are not invited to the ceremony.  Any insight on this topic would be really helpful!

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Re: Bridal Shower

  • texagjtexagj
    100 Comments
    Yup your right. Its rude to invite guests to your shower unless they are invited to the ceremony as well.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    You're right.

    Just say, "Thank you so much for the offer but I just can't go to a shower if people invited won't be invited to the wedding"

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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    You are correct, so you should decline the shower.
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  • Galaxy8227Galaxy8227
    2500 Comments

    Agree with PP's.  Explain to the family that you'll need to decline the shower. 

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  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments

    Tell they you only want to invite those coming to the wedding. If they disagree, then decline the shower.

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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:293f2341-0de9-4550-947d-b36fd336abfePost:07c18138-209c-48fb-9238-b1ff921132ef">Re: Bridal Shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]Destination weddings are exception, plus these girls know they won't be there, and are just being GREAT friends-- you're fine.
    Posted by srkropf[/QUOTE]

    No they aren't.  Some people will say that if you have an AHR following a DW then perhaps you can make an exception and invite those people to the shower but thst still leaves a bad taste in the mouths of many.  You should read up on your etiquette before you say things that are incorrect.
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  • MISSCOURTNEY20MISSCOURTNEY20 member
    1000 Comments

    Since the people who want to throw the shower, were invited to the wedding, and can't make it, I think you are fine. People these days, understand the reasoning behind very small weddings. COST! If they are understanding to your reason as to why you are having a small ceremony and still want to "shower you", why not let them?

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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Misscourtney, I don't think the OP has any issue with who wants to throw the shower.  The issue is with the guest list.
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  • ChristianeFChristianeF member
    First Comment

    Thanks everyone!!  I do feel absolutely rude.  I think I will shave the list down.

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