Open Letter Wednesday

AmoroAgain

Dear Douchebag,

You were on my flight Monday from Chicago to Munich.  I get that you paid for your seat and everything that goes with it, but sometimes, you shouldn't recline your seat ALL THE WAY back.  Especially, when the people behind you are in the last seats in the entire plane.  Ya know why?  We can't recline too far.  It was completely douchey of you to pretend to not speak english when I asked you to move your seat up a bit while I was trying to eat.  Course, when I mentioned that I had heard you speaking perfectly good English while we were stuck on the tarmac during a thunderstorm, you pretended even harder.  Thanks to the stewardess who came by and forcibly put your seat up.   That was pretty funny.  Then, I screwed with you while you were sleeping.  I couldn't sleep so well because your seat was pushed far enough back as to make me feel claustrophobic. 

While you were asleep (across the other empty seat, WHILE your seat remained pushed back) I reached over and moved it up for you, then dripped water in your ear (though, that was accidental), I may also have hidden your headphones and moved your seat position every chance I got.  It made me feel better for your douchiness.

With regards,
Amoro

ZRex

Good for you for calling him out on faking.  Slate just did a huge thing on air travel courtesy, and one of the major issues was that people should ASK before reclining.

kkchisholm

Dear internship-
You suck, I hate you, and I can't wait for June 8th.

Sincerely,
Kristen

laurenclaire1386

Oh Amoro, I lurve you and your airplane shenanigans.

Dear FI's job,
Remember that time you told FI that he would be on the road a maximum of three consecutive weeks? Yeah, he's on week five away from home now. I know you have a backlog, and you say once you're caught up the schedule will get easier. Hire some more people. Do something. I don't care what you do but give me my fiance back goddammit.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letter-wednesday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:29a49f3c-4014-4823-8f9e-f9329aa8e2efPost:926d4137-1ff5-41ba-b8d2-bac7752ba84c">Re: Open Letter Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Good for you for calling him out on faking.  Slate just did a huge thing on air travel courtesy, and one of the major issues was that people should ASK before reclining.
Posted by ZRex[/QUOTE]

H is annoyed with me for getting mad.  He finally, when I got up to the use the bathroom (which I did with much jostling and shoving of his chair), moved over to my seat and wouldn't let me screw with him anymore. :(  As he says, he paid for that seat and everything that goes with it, but for me, there's something to be said for being polite about it.  I don't care if people ask first, but just because you CAN recline all the way, doesn't mean you SHOULD or that you should keep it that way the entirety of the flight.

MissLeahM

Dear work,

I feel slightly responsible for the mix up.. Although I'm pretty sure I had nothing to do with it. But sorry anyway.

Me

Nebb

Dear x-friend whos wedding I dropped out of,
Considering it took you TWO MONTHS to respond to me dropping out, I have NO sense of urgency to reply back to you. If you cared as much as you say you cared, it wouldnt have taken you TWO MONTHS to say what you said, you would have taken a week, tops. The fact that you took your sweet time to reply to me was totally disrespectful, so I wouldnt suggest holding your breath waiting for a response from me, because it aint coming any time soon.

Furthermore, no amount of discussion could have changed the fact that im UNEMPLOYED and travelling 4 hours for a shower, b-party, AND wedding, ontop of hair & makeup, accomodations and travel expenses cost money I do not have. Im not pretending to be poor, I really actually am. Thanks though.

Cordially,
Me

pumpkinpumpkin

Dear Beautiful Spring Weather,
I love you. Please stay. That's all.
Love J.

FutureMrsTR

Dear Amoro,

You're awesome.  I feel the same way about airplane etiquette.

~ TR

Dear Mini Dealership,

If you could fix FI's car for as little as possible that would be great.  Or maybe you could give him a job?  Either way, please be gentle with my bank account.

~ TR

maggyruth

Dear idiot at work,

You printed things correctly last week.  What on earth makes you think that we changed the process in the past 2 days?  Seriously, you are an idiot.

P

AmoroAgain

Nebb, please tell me she didn't actually think you're pretending to be poor.  Cause if she is, she's a total bitchface.

Brie2010

Dear last 15 people who have called me,

Calling me and explaining your special snowflake circumstances will not cause me to pull a decision on your file out of my ass.  Having your dad call me will just make me roll my eyes, because OMG it's grad school.  Cut the damn cord.

Love,
Brie

ohwhynot

Dear Community of Widows in Sun City, AZ:

Please help take care of my Mom.  We are all far away from her and we are worried.  Only you know just what she is going through, so please welcome her as one of your own and help her live her new life.  Thank you. 

Dear Son:

Please don't be anxious about Human Growth & Development class.  Everyone else will feel just as embarassed as you do.  It's important to know this stuff and you can handle it.  Love, Mom.

Nebb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letter-wednesday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:29a49f3c-4014-4823-8f9e-f9329aa8e2efPost:1d577985-347b-434d-9e71-b543afa02906">Re: Open Letter Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Nebb, please tell me she didn't actually think you're pretending to be poor.  Cause if she is, she's a total bitchface.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]
Im not sure but it seems that way. She claims she has tried every way possible to lessen the financial burden on her BP (she is making the dresses) and that we could have figured something out if we discussed it instead of my dropping out, but even if the dress is free I would have to do without food and toiletries for two months to accomodate the other stuff. I dont think that makes sense to her.

btrflykate1230

Dear Sweet Young Son,

You're really cute. I get it. It's not so cute when you wipe your peanut butter hands all over my laptop screen, even with a big grin on your face. Next time, please do this to dad's laptop.

Love,
Mom

andyandhillary

Dear Work Shoes,

You used to get along so well with my feet, what is your deal?  They are sad because you are mean.  Quit it or I'm done with you.

Hill

louisvillebride21

Dear work,
Thanks for putting me in the awful basement to archive 13 years worth of newspapers. I really love dust and creepy things dead in the file cabinet. This awful aversion I have to sunlight really works down here. No really, thanks.

Fuuck you,
LVB.

Dear person who tried to organize these papers,
You're a fucking idiot, aren't you?

Die.

lizstill13

Dear Amoro,

I don't know you, but I like your style. Thanks for teaching DB a lesson, even if he didn't get it.

-Liz

Dear Post Office,

Thank you for delivering our invitations 8 weeks after we mailed them out. You made me hand stamp them, even though we paid extra for it, so really I should have been paid to do it. Thank you for losing at least 1 invitation and 3 reply cards. I probably should have hand-delivered them 5 states away since you seem incapable of doing it yourself. You wonder why everybody hates you and you're probably going to go out business even though you have a monopoly on the system.

Your angry postal customer,

Liz

smokeybailey

Dear CEO,

Hi!  Remember me?  We talked not too long ago about a wage increase and you have been avoiding me ever since.  You do know that when I get my check on the 15th, I will see how much I received.  If that amount is not commensurate with the type, quality and amount of work that I have been putting in for The Company, I am out like a scout on a new route.  You can't ride me for 60 hours a week and then just put me away wet.  Bad, bad, CEO. 

Best,
Smokey

PS-dear coworkers with children: your life is NOT more valuable than mine.  Just because I don't have a "five year old waiting for me" does not mean that I do not have a LIFE waiting for me at home.  Fuuck you for thinking that just because I am childless that I don't have sh!t to do. 

[Deleted User]

Dear DJ,
I hate your fucking guts.
Love,
CEW

sarabellam

Dear dog,
I love you and all thatshit, but the $418 I had to shell out today at the vet to fix your leg? I REALLY could have used that on something else.

Dear crack in the foundation, please let me find you so I can fix you and I don't have to hire a contractor to rip out the stairs to find you. I want to cover you wiith some lovely ceramic tile rather than the carpet that looks like it belongs in a golf club in the 1980's.

Dear lovely spring weather, thank you for being so wonderful and warm. Could you stay that way a couple of more days so all of the pollen comes and goes quickly? Kthnxbye.

Dear Spring Break. Slow down, you move too fast.

Night_Sprite

Dear Nebb,

Your friend is a douche.  I think she is lame.  You should come love in Iowa and be my friend instead.

Dear Dryer,

Why do you have a squeak in your barrel?  Why does it have to be high pitched?  Why can't it be quieter?  Why am I more inclined to listen to squeaking than get a new dryer? Ugh.

Dear Project,

Stop being so hard.  Fall into place.  You make my life difficult and I dislike it.

Love, 

Night

Marrin713

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-letter-wednesday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:29a49f3c-4014-4823-8f9e-f9329aa8e2efPost:1dea3ed4-cd57-4e47-a768-c6d365b0d0fc">Re: Open Letter Wednesday</a>:
[QUOTE]Dear Community of Widows in Sun City, AZ: Please help take care of my Mom.  We are all far away from her and we are worried.  Only you know just what she is going through, so please welcome her as one of your own and help her live her new life.  Thank you.[/QUOTE]

Thank you for this.

L-Bride

Dear Appetite and lack of self-control,

Where did you come from? I have always had such amazing self-control with food until recently. I'm getting married in 5 months and would appreciate not looking smushy in my pictures. AND NO I will not reach into the garbage to salvage the other half of the snickers bar you ate for breakfast!

Cutthecrapmmmmkay??

agk0125

Dear Invited Wedding Guests,
I really can't believe less than half of sent your RSVP back. You've got to be kidding me. There are only 60 of you total which means you're all family or super close friends, so it makes it even suckier that you can't take a minute and let me know if you're coming. It was really hard to get the list so small, so every time one of you acts like a douche it actually really hurts me. ESPECIALLY those of you who clearly didn't even look at the invitation and have no fucking idea what's going on and then ask me ridiculous questions like "do I actually have to tell you if I'm coming to the welcome dinner AND the wedding." Yes. You do.

And an extra bonus fucck you to the member of my wedding party who constantly tells me he's broke and makes me feel bad about the $300 he'll end up spending to attend the wedding but then sends out two emails in one week seeing who wants to go to some really expensive concerts with him. Oh, sorry, I can't because I'm actually broke because I'm paying for the big party you're complaining about attending.

Really can't stand any of you right now,
-A

oh, and cat, your poop fucking stinks.

Vent over.

AlexiaANDRobert

Dear co-workers -

Our office hours are 8-5.  I've repeatedly asked you to leave me alone until 8. I come in early, to get MY shiit done.  Not yours.  Leave all requests for 8 AM.

Along the same lines, just because I'm eating at my desk doesn't mean I'm not at lunch.  DON'T ask me for shiit when there is food in front of me.  I am not going to stop eating because you need something.  If I were out of the office you'd be SOL, pretend I'm out of the office.

Regards,
Alexia


Dear Easter -

Thank you for Cadbury eggs.  Really.  THANK YOU!

Thank you,
Alexia

Love is Bald

Dear Allergies/Head Cold/ WHATEVER YOU ARE:

You KNOW I am leaving on vacation in 3 days.  Why do you do this to me? WHY?!  I feel like complete utter crapola.  Please, leave my body.  Do something more productive with your time than making me feel horrible.  I am so stuffed and drugged up that I cannot even think straight.  I wish I had something more clever to write... bu t a good GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BODY should do.

Thanks.

mags0607

Dear UPS office manager-

I have never met you, but I hate you. No one calls me sweetie without my permission, and just because you have a bajillion customers does not mean you can be a dickfaace to this one.

It is not my fault I live in an apartment and that you will not leave my package, even when I sign the back of the slip. Its not my fault your driver messed up the notices, and didn't put the first one on my door. It IS your fault that you sent my package back before you were rightfully supposed to.

 I get that you "don't have a time machine to get my package back" but if I was standing in front of you and not on the phone, you would have physically had to restrain me from jumping over the counter. Please learn to talk to people if you are the customer service manager.

Thank you, I hope you have a craptastic day.

Love, Mags

rhodesign

Dear gut:
I have come to terms with your existence. I really have. But after the comment my co-worker made about how skinny I was once upon a time after seeing an old photo of me--I'm more determined than ever to make you disappear. Please go quickly and quietly, and don't be sad--I'm sure it's just a matter of time before we're reunited again.

cac847

Dear Kelly Clarkson,

Your ass is huge. I fully support your celebritites-shouldn't-look-like-twigs mentality, but you look unhealthy and its sad because you were jacked the first time I saw you in concert. And I'm tired of FI making fun of aforementioned ass every time he hears one of your songs.

Love,
Chris

saxy414

Celles, that is awesome!  It's great to hear stories like that.

Dear Ohio weather,

You suck.  80s and sunny yesterday and 50s and rainy tomorrow?  Yep, that's all I have to say.  You suck.


Dear school districts all over the area,

I promise I'm good at what I do.  Please hire me.  I will put on disgustingly adorable elementary music programs, and give parents lots of opportunities to ooh and ahh over their kids.  Please give me a job.

Sincerely,
Saxy.