Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
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Ceremony Readings!!

I am at a loss for the readings. Do we need to have some? I was baptized and raised episcopalian and my FI was raised catholic. He stopped going to church around 12 years old and does not believe in god or the bible. I go to church every now and then and do believe in god and that there is something after this life but have never read the bible (but decided tonight I will probably do it). I am clueless about readings and if we even need to have them and if we do then what am I looking for in one? Do we have one or two? who do we ask to read them? help!

Re: Ceremony Readings!!

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    readings are totally optional. Since my fiance and I have different beliefs we are opting for a non-religious ceremony with non-religious readings. just google something like "love poems for weddings" that kind of thing. and if it seems religious, skip to the next one. If you feel you want just a quick intro vows, kiss, and go ceremony then feel free to skip any readings all together!A good idea to decide if you need readings or not is to ask your officiant how long his stuff will be and ask your photographer how much time he needs to get all his ceremony shots. My photog needs 15-20 mins to move around to all his spots. (He already has experience at my venue)
    PhotobucketAnniversary Holiday
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    My FI and I don't go to church either, but we knew if we got married in one, we'd have to go along with what the minister said.  I am doing 3 readings which were picked from a list she gave us.  And like someone else said, they are mostly filler and to satisfy my minister..... We are United, so the ceremony would be super quick without them.We are having friends and family read the following:John 13:34-351 Corinthians 13:4 - 8a (this one is from the bible but very common, and doesnt sound too religious.)Matthew 19:4-6I also found a reading that i really liked not in the bible and the minister will read this as a 'meditation'.it is called "On Love" by Thomas A KempisSo this way we both got our way.  But you don't have to do as many as that, or any at all.  I think you should speak with the person marrying you.
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    I was recently a BM in a wedding of two non-religious friends.  They had 1 reading which was a poem about love that they both liked and 1 "reading" was a letter from one of the groom's family members who was unable to be at the wedding.  It was beautiful and so personal.  Do what means something to you an FI.
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    If I had the chance I would love to have this reading.  I saw it once and fell in love with it.  Since I'm getting married in a Catholic church, I don't beleive we can use anything non-religous.  But if I could this would be it.  In a letter written by Mark Twain to Olivia Langdon Clemens on their wedding day:[This] will be the mightiest day in the history of our lives, the holiest, and the most generous toward us both--for it makes two fractional lives a whole; it gives two purposeless lives a work, and doubles the strength of each whereby to perform it; it gives two questioning natures a reason for living, and something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, a new mystery to life; and it will give a new revelation to love, a new depth to sorrow, a new impulse to worship. On this day the scales will fall from our eyes and we shall look upon a new world
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    dnajmidnajmi member
    First Comment
    You dont have to do readings.  I am having two readings because I wanted the people doing the readings to be a part of the wedding also.  We are doing two poems.  It does not have to be anything from the bible.  We are also doing "On love" By Thomas Kempis!Here is a great website with some readings u can use:http://www.todays-weddings.com/planning/readings.html
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    I would say that even though readings and such are not a requirement by any means, definitely have something. All of the above suggestions are great. I went to a wedding that didn't have any readings; just the vows and "I do's". The ceremony was only about 5-10min long. As a guest, I thought it seemed a bit ridiculous to have a ceremony which was that short. I would definitely gather some meaningful poems/lyrics/readings OR ask someone/people close to you to create something. I am having one of our mutual friends write a poem, my sister will sing a song, and we will have a reading of one of our favorite Led Zeppelin songs about love ("Thank You" is the name of the song). Make your ceremony personal and special by adding a mix of things you have picked out or created! Don't let it just be a 5 minute stale situation like my friend's wedding was! :) Good Luck!!   
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    lceva, why is it ridiculous to have a ceremony last 5 minutes?  That's my plan.  Vows & then done.  Let's eat, drink, & dance.  As a guest, I love short ceremonies.  So no, readings are not required.  If you do have them, ask a family member or close friend.  At my sister's wedding they had the groom's 2 sisters read. 
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    Ok, sorry for being a little off topic, but I'm fairly new to the Knot and trying to figure out all the abbreviations.  I think I've got most of them, but what's DD and DH?Oh, and you don't need readings.  It's whatever you want to do!
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    I wouldn't be so hasty to say that readings are totally optional. Definitely check with your officiant. You said you were raised Episcopalian. I'm also Episcopalian, and my priest insists on doing weddings right from the Book of Common Prayer. Readings are part of the liturgy.
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    CurucuCurucu member
    First Comment
    Readings are by far not required.  If chosen well, they make a nice addition.We're using Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "How Do I Love Thee?"...sure, its not original, but its lovely, and most people know enough of it to perk interest.As far as sacred, "Love is patient, love is kind...." I Corinthians 13:4, is pretty much the staple scripture. Ask anyone you like to read them.  Your hairdresser can do it if you're close.  Anyone you can't fit into the bridal party that you would like to include is a good choice too.  Maybe if there are older children (too old for flower girls and ring bearers) that would be a good option too.  Be careful if giving a reading to children that they can handle the piece they are asked to read.Have one or two.  I think more than that is just dragging the ceremony out.  Try to pick something that is meaningful to the two of you if you can.  It doesn't have to be about love and marriage, it can just be a favorite piece.  Maybe someone is a budding (or avid) poet?  Allow them to compose and share a piece for your ceremony.Lots of options out there for this time - I'm sure you will find that which reflects you the most.
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    DD=Dear Daughter DH=Dear Hubby
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    Thanks!
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    My fiance and I are NOT religious, probably anti-religious.  But I did not want to have the shortest ceremony on earth (nor for my ultra-religious sister to choose some typical Christian passage) so I have chosen to incorporate my fiance's ethnicity into the ceremony, and finding a poem or short story written by a Polish author, that my sister can read in English and then one of his groomsmen to read in Polish.  So it will be the same thing read twice, but at least all of the guests will understand either version, and we will be able to include the bridal party into the ceremony and add bulk.
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    You don't ahve to have a reading if you don't want to. We did as part of the hand fasting we added to our ceremony. & you can have anyone do it. My father in law did ours as well as the hand fasting as the pastor didn't feel comfortable with it. If you want something that isn't religeous...here's what we had...It's a Celtic Blessing: Always forget the tings that made you sadBut never forget the things that made you glad.Always remember to forget the friends that proved untureBut never forget to remember those that have stuck by you.Always remember to forget the troubles that passed awayBut never forget to remember the blessings that come each day.
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    Linaq5Linaq5 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    We are doing a little bit of everything. We hare having a friend do a reading that i found here on the knot, then our minister ( who is my FI cousin) will be doing a reading from the Bible and then instead of doing an unity candle we are doimg an Irish Hand blessing that his cousin will read. You def don't need to to have any readings or anything if you don't want but if you do want something look on the Knot...they hat lots of poems and passages from books that where not religious but where perfect for weddings!!
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    My roommate is using "Union" by Robert Fulghum! I think it is PERFECT...I wish my roommate & I weren't inviting a lot of the same guests, and I would totally copy her! ha!
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