Bachelorette Party

arendiva

I've never actually been to a bachelorette party. I assume everyone pays for themselves right? The only reason I'm asking is because in a number of other threads you hear the phrase "the host pays" and I just want to be clear if this applies to bachelorette parties aswell. With the amount of drinking that people do at bachelorette parties I imagine that would get really expensive if one person had to buy everyones drinks. Thanks in advance.

OwningAHome1981

Usually everyone pays for themselves... but a bachelorette party is not an obligation so if a girl doesn't have the money, then she doesn't have to come. 

Peledreamsofrain

There arn't any hard and fast rules, to be honest.  If the hostess can pay for it all, she can go that route (honestly though, I don't know anyone who has that much money to throw around).

Most bachelorette parties, because they are attended by the non-rich, have everyone paying their own way.  I've been to a few, and never has anyone been nasty enough to pitch a fit because she has to drink on her own dime.  The MOH does usually pick up the bride's tab though.

s-aries8990

At the ones I've been to either the bill gets split by all but the brid or everyone takes turns buying the bride a round

Meegles4

Agree with Stage. If it's hosted at someone's home, they'll typically take on purchasing decor, food, etc. The ones I've been to are usually a combo of a home and bars and at the bars we all just pay our own way and buy drinks for the bride on our own.

In some cases, I've seen invitations where the host outlines the cost of the event. For example, if they're renting a limo or hotel room and they want everyone to pitch in (except the bride), the invitation might say something like "limo cost will be about $20/person". I tend to avoid going to those parties unless it's a really close friend.

[Deleted User]

Everyone is chipping in for mine. But we're doing a nice quiet evening at my sister (MOH ) home. It's a girls night in & everyone is brining a snack & a bottle or two of wine to share so we can do a wine tasting event. It's nice relaxed & quiet, affordable evening with friends which is what I wanted.

hwoychowski

I have both hosted one and now having mine in two weeks. Both were/are hosted dinners at someone house (paid for by host) then an outing part. While out, there was no set $$ amount. Just if you had beer all night it was a cheapy one, if you had martini's and shots, you were footing a larger bill. This helps to accomodate all people's finanacial abilities. At the one I hosted people took turns buying shots or drinks for the bride, but it was never like "Now its your turn..." It was more go with the flow. I am assuming from what my MOH told me, that is what mine is like as well.

EADenver

I think there are great answers here. It totally depends on the type of party you want to have and what your friends want to throw for you! 

I will say, I have a pet peeve of brides choosing destination trips or really pricey bachelorette parties and expecting people to come. As a bridesmaid you can't be expected to pay for plane tickets, drinks, hotel, transportation etc and then do it all again a few weeks later for the wedding. 

That said, my one piece of advice is that if you want something more extravagant AND you expect all your bridesmaids/friends to come, be more willing to foot a larger chunk of the bill (ie- everyone buys their own ticket and you cover the hotel or something like that). 

However, if you're going big and it's optional, then make sure they know that. :-)

MyNameIsNot

In my experience, etiquette rules are generally pretty lax for b-parties.  If it's at someone's home, the hosts will usually pay for everything and guests may choose to bring snacks or drinks to share.  If it's an outing, the hosts usually pick up the "overhead" costs, like limo, main hotel room, and decor, but the guests pick up their own restaurant/bar tab.  Every b-party I've been to involved a couple of friends co-hosting, so it didn't have to be super expensive.

Some people do other things, but it's been my experience that when the hosts send an invoice invitation: "$30 per guest for limo and to cover the bride" that people start to feel a little put off.  It's not correct etiquette, but at least with guests paying their own way, they can control what they spend.  When all the guests are expected to help host, some may choose not to go because they don't want to throw in $20 on a limo or a stripper.  

I've actually been to a b-party where we got an "invoice invitation" for a party bus.  Quite a few of the girls were put out that they were expected to chip in $30 for an unnecessary expense, and decided to walk/cab instead.  It caused a bit of a riff between the bride's two groups of friends.