Help shutting down rude people?

GeauxTigers17

My cousin got engaged a few months after me and set a wedding date 3 weeks before mine. My entire family is all in the same smallish town so it's not like any traveling is involved, and none of the family will have to choose between weddings, so no big deal, right?

For some reason, people keep feeling the need to comment. They usually say something like "ohmygosh, I heard Jill is getting married 3 weeks before you! Are you so pissed?"

My normal reaction is something like "not at all, I'm thrilled for her!" But that usually invites more prodding or comments about how it's crazy that she "just couldn't stand it" that I was getting married (I'm younger.) <roll eyes.>

Any idea on how to be polite but get it across that these gossipy women need to STFU? Obviously, my cousin did NOT get engaged just because I did (plus, she told me they had talked about an August date when I called to tell her I was engaged, but then the chapel wasn't available so they chose November), but I am having trouble shutting these people down without feeling the need to explain her life. Which is soooo not my place to do. 

opalsky007

Look, it sounds like you're doing just fine, so just keep on being as sweet as sugar about it. Saying "I don't care, STFU" just says "I do care, and I don't want to talk about it."

hlq2011

Just keep doing what you're doing.  "I'm really excited that cousin and I get to plan our weddings together.  It's really nice to have another bride around."  And then change the subject.

GeauxTigers17

Oh sorry opalsky, I would NEVER actually say something like that! I was just trying to get across the idea that I was hoping for something that would indicate that it wasn't open for discussion. 

I guess I'm just feeling a bit defensive of her. 

Meg1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shutting-down-rude-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2a7b450f-459c-4d6e-9865-0d05e06686c1Post:7cb9208d-1f25-477a-ac97-31232f22cb60">Re: Help shutting down rude people?</a>:
[QUOTE]Just keep doing what you're doing.  "I'm really excited that cousin and I get to plan our weddings together.  It's really nice to have another bride around."  And then change the subject.
Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

This was definitely my thought.

zitiqueen

"I'm really not so petty that I would let such a thing as somebody else's wedding date bother me."

Yeah, it's a little snotty...

lisarose7

"What an interesting question.  Why do you ask?  And have you tried this wonderful bean dip?"

jessicabessica

It sounds more like a jab at your cousin than at you.  I think something like, "Isn't it wonderful that our family has so many upcoming celebrations" is a good response--act oblivious to the age issue and don't engage them on it (not that it sounds like you are, so keep up the good work).  

RebeccaB88

I think these people are looking for something to gossip about.  They just want a juicy story.  Don't give it to them.  I think you're doing just fine. 

HandBanana

I agree with the PP about saying it is so nice to have another bride around.

My FI younger brother found a girl got engaged and married her in the year were engaged and are planning a huge wedding in two years.  I can really relate.  I don't care but the more people prod the more you want to say "STOP TRYING TO START STUFF!"