Hi there,
We want to have 2 girls (sisters) be our flowergirls. My grandma nannied them, and in the process, we grew really close to the family. Unfortunately, the mother's dad died unexpectedly (standard surgery gone very wrong), and so the family is now in mouring (the girls don't know about their grandfather's death yet).
We've already asked other children in our wedding party (ring bearer, and a couple junior bm/gm since they were in the in-between age) before the death happened, and these 2 girls know that we've asked their friends and keep doing the sweetest things hoping that they'll get to be flower girls, too. The last time I was taking care of them, they brought me flowers from their garden to have a "flower carrying competition" so they could compete to see who would be the best fg! The ideas these kids get, soooo adorable!
My heart breaks for them because of the circumstances, and I feel like I'm disappointing the girls by not telling them that of course they're in the wedding party! The problem is, with all the other kids, we asked their parent's permission in private first, and I feel like talking to the parents about this at such a sad time isn't appropriate. Yet the girls seem so sad and eager, that I feel bad that they still think I don't want them. I'm not really sure what to do... 2 weeks has passed since the death and the parents are so devasted, and I imagine that they will be for a very long time. Fh suggested that I wait a while longer and just avoid seeing the girls until then (but it's either me that baby sits them at night, if their parents can't pick them up from daycare, or my grandmother who nannies for them during the day on the days that they don't attend daycare (they only go 3 days a week), so avoiding them wouldn't really work.
What would you do in this situation?