Bridal shower.... after a wedding... that I wasn't invited to...

StPaul0102

Hi ladies! 

I have been reading this board for a while and I just needed to come on here and vent for a moment. A friend of mine got engaged in October and then informed us all (via Instagram) that she got married in a shot gun wedding in November. A few weeks later, she let her friends know that she's also pregnant. While not the path I thought she was going to take, I'm happy if she's happy. But then last week I received an invitation in the mail and assumed it was for a baby shower for her. I was wrong. It was an inviation to a BRIDAL shower. It had some cute saying about how they were so excited and in love that they got married quickly and now want to back track and a note about where they were registered. 

Now, like I said, I am completely happy for her if she is happy and I really would have loved  to celebrate the wedding with her but she didn't invite us to the wedding and it took place 3 months ago. It seems so odd to "shower" her with "bridal" gifts at this point, right? Especially since I'm sure there will be a baby shower coming up any day now, too.  What would you do? 

vanityink

Ugh, awful. I'd personally say "sorry, I'm busy that day. Congrats on your marriage"

Jen4948

Wow, that really takes a lot of nerve...

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridal shower.... after a wedding... that I wasn't invited to... : yup.
Posted by TXKristan[/QUOTE]

This is what I'd do too.

Sierra524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-after-a-wedding-that-i-wasnt-invited-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2abe2bac-1b50-4bcf-9981-5d60d3bb57d3Post:951b77b7-6360-47c3-a391-83bdbd8f2be6">Re: Bridal shower.... after a wedding... that I wasn't invited to...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ugh, awful. I'd personally say "sorry, I'm busy that day. Congrats on your marriage"
Posted by jessicadall[/QUOTE]

This exactly. Shes only doing it because she wants gifts.

Pookieson

EW.  I did have a baby shower after my darling daughter showed up 3 months early.  This....is just....ewwwww. I'd decline.  I hope someone tells her how bad this looks

antibride2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-after-a-wedding-that-i-wasnt-invited-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2abe2bac-1b50-4bcf-9981-5d60d3bb57d3Post:d15355ad-cc16-448d-90a0-6996dd2852f9">Bridal shower.... after a wedding... that I wasn't invited to...</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi ladies!  I have been reading this board for a while and I just needed to come on here and vent for a moment. A friend of mine got engaged in October and then informed us all (via Instagram) that she got married in a shot gun wedding in November. A few weeks later, she let her friends know that she's also pregnant. While not the path I thought she was going to take, I'm happy if she's happy. But then last week I received an invitation in the mail and assumed it was for a baby shower for her. I was wrong. It was an inviation to a BRIDAL shower. It had some cute saying about how they were so excited and in love that they got married quickly and now want to back track and a note about where they were registered.  Now, like I said, I am completely happy for her if she is happy and I really would have loved  to celebrate the wedding with her but she didn't invite us to the wedding and it took place 3 months ago. It seems so odd to "shower" her with "bridal" gifts at this point, right? Especially since I'm sure there will be a baby shower coming up any day now, too.  What would you do? 
Posted by StPaul0102[/QUOTE]

Ditto.  I would also probably talk to her if she is a good friend and advise her how incredibly inappropriate and rude this is.  Maybe she thought this is OK, and it is so totally not.

Lored

Wow. Just when you think you've heard everything.... This just screams Buy me stuff, Buy me stuff!

StPaul0102

Thanks, everyone!

I think I just needed an little extra push to feel justified in not attending. My other friend who was invited declined the day she got the invite but she's a lot ballsier than me. We're both preparing ourselves for a PPD-type renewal invite that we'll inevitably be recieving in the fall. 

Oh, and I totally agree that a baby shower after the fact is a completely different thing all together. Babies are unpredictable little things. Weddings are only as unpredictable as the people throwing them want them to be. 

Thanks, again! 

mattycam

I agree with PP..pass on this one

Lored

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-after-a-wedding-that-i-wasnt-invited-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2abe2bac-1b50-4bcf-9981-5d60d3bb57d3Post:21d5a273-9222-4b2b-b7d8-e1423fa79f0f">Re:Bridal shower.... after a wedding... that I wasn't invited to...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd decline and send an etiquette book all wrapped up to be opened at the shower. But I'm a biiiitch like that.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]



This. Is. Awesome.

misshart00

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-shower-after-a-wedding-that-i-wasnt-invited-to?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2abe2bac-1b50-4bcf-9981-5d60d3bb57d3Post:f2646ebc-efd0-47ec-b9db-e0238f98d6fc">Re: Bridal shower.... after a wedding... that I wasn't invited to...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ewww. Although I have to problem with showers after the birth, so long as it soon after and not like a year or something. My grandma was a superstitious lady and I think she insisted on no baby showers until after the arrival of said baby.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]



I've never heard that. What's the superstition? That they'll lose the baby?

jaenella

I had a friend as well who insisted on no baby stuff entering the house before the baby was born - she explained it as an old Jewish tradition! Apparently it's so that you don't draw bad luck to the baby by drawing attention to them before they are born.