Guest & plus 1 question

nbr14

I'm looking for advice on the best way to deal with this without offending anyone; 2 of my younger cousins have asked if they can bring a plus one to our wedding (both approx. 16, neither have been dating these guys for longer than a month or 2). We're at our max in terms of budget for guest list, and while I know under 18s aren't required to be given a guest or a plus one, it would be nice to do so if able. We have 2 friends of ours who were invited with their partners but have both recently broken up. I was toying with the idea of using these 2 'no' rsvps to let the cousins bring their dates. My concern is, if the friends happen to get back together with their partners before the RSVP deadline and want to bring them to the wedding, I would of course have to say yes as they were given an invite; but we don't have it in the budget to have both the partners and the guests my cousins want to bring. Should I just tell the cousins 'no I'm sorry it's not in our budget' and leave it at that? Or could I make a decision right before I have to give our venue a final count or would that be too rude? 

Thanks!

jemmini6

They are 16, chances are, they probably won't even be dating these people by the time your wedding comes around.  Don't give them a +1.

specialk84

I would not give them a +1.

Annas2013

I wouldn't give them a plus one.  Especially since they weren't in the relationship when invitations went out.  It's better to be safe than sorry in this situation in case one or both of your friends get back with their SO.

Maggie0829

I say no to the +1.  If they were adults (18+) I would tell you that you should but since they are not adults then not allowing them a +1 is perfectly fine.

Just tell them that you are sorry but you cannot accomodate a guest for them.  If they don't like it I guess they won't come.

UKgal321

I agree with PP don't give them a plus one.  They are only sixteen and it won't matter to them in the long run anyway.

futuremrsbruno

I'm having a similar issue with guests responding with a plus 1 when it wasn't on their invitation. I think it's very rude to ask, and/or assume you can bring someone to the wedding. I wouldn't allow them to invite someone. Especially at that age, unless they've been with the person for a significant amount of time. I've been to enough weddings where there was some sort of drama that went down between a teenage guest and their plus one. It's just not a good idea.

It baffles me that people are okay with this. We have had a couple family friends reply this way as well as FI's cousin, who is also a GM. We discussed the idea of the BP bringing dates last summer and decided that unless they are married or have a boyfriend or girlfriend, then no. Our family and friends in the BP who are single tend to show up everywhere with the new arm candy of the week. I just didn't want to have people there that we didn't know, and who didn't know anyone else. I also put myself in their shoes and thought if I was invited as a guest of a GM and I knew no one I wouldn't want to go. I'd be by myself from the time I arrived at the church until after the dinner and toasts. That's a good few hours. It's very uncomfortable.

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guest-plus-1-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2bb80645-1757-488b-966c-48138dd39394Post:3618cbb8-6911-4798-9a9a-5a2205f4b2ae">Re: Guest & plus 1 question</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having a similar issue with guests responding with a plus 1 when it wasn't on their invitation. I think it's very rude to ask, and/or assume you can bring someone to the wedding. I wouldn't allow them to invite someone. Especially at that age, unless they've been with the person for a significant amount of time. I've been to enough weddings where there was some sort of drama that went down between a teenage guest and their plus one. It's just not a good idea. It baffles me that people are okay with this. We have had a couple family friends reply this way as well as FI's cousin, who is also a GM. We discussed the idea of the BP bringing dates last summer and decided that unless they are married or have a boyfriend or girlfriend, then no. Our family and friends in the BP who are single tend to show up everywhere with the new arm candy of the week. I just didn't want to have people there that we didn't know, and who didn't know anyone else. <strong>I also put myself in their shoes and thought if I was invited as a guest of a GM and I knew no one I wouldn't want to go. I'd be by myself from the time I arrived at the church until after the dinner and toasts.</strong> That's a good few hours. It's very uncomfortable.
Posted by futuremrsbruno[/QUOTE]

not if the B&G were gracious hosts who allowed the wedding party to sit with their dates/SOs.