Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

Shower dilemma

Hi girls, 

So... the lady hosting my bridal shower is an old family friend who has three daughters, all of whose weddings I attended as a teenager/college student. I am only close with her youngest daughter who is my age, and although I had contemplated inviting her middle daughter as well (who I know and like but who I haven't seen or spoken to in 6 years), I ended up deciding to take her off the guest list and shower list while making list cutbacks.  

I just spoke with her mother today, and she said that even though the middle daughter wasn't on my shower list, she invited her anyway. Eek!! Now I feel really bad for not having invited the middle daughter! I just sent out my save-the-dates last week, so she'll know by now that she wasn't originally on the guest list... what should I do??
"He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at."

Re: Shower dilemma

  • Options
    I find it a little odd that you already have a shower planned and just sent out STDs.  If you can add her to the guest list I think you should even though it wasn't really your error.  STDs aren't required and often aren't sent to everyone on the invitation list.
    image
  • Options
    We've already sent out STDs because I'm getting married in the UK to a British guy (so it's basically a destination wedding for all of my American family and friends). Friends from my hometown wanted to throw me a shower before I move to London this summer, even though the wedding isn't till November. 

    At any rate, I'm now planning to add her--it won't be too much trouble, just don't want her to feel like she was an afterthought!
    "He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at."
  • Options
    Your bio says that your wedding is 6 months off.  Way too early for showers.

    STDs aren't required anyhow
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_shower-dilemma-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2c53c6e5-db4b-4fe6-84b3-03075e178304Post:82ec5e58-ac9e-496b-9c58-4360071e4c5d">Re: Shower dilemma</a>:
    [QUOTE]We've already sent out STDs because I'm getting married in the UK to a British guy (so it's basically a destination wedding for all of my American family and friends). Friends from my hometown wanted to throw me a shower before I move to London this summer, even though the wedding isn't till November.  At any rate, I'm now planning to add her--it won't be too much trouble, just don't want her to feel like she was an afterthought!
    Posted by cac7777[/QUOTE]
    You can always claim that you just noticed her STD was left in your car when you went to the post office. Probably better then saying it was lost in the mail if her mom and sister got theirs.
    image
    Anniversary
  • Options
    So what about the 3rd sister (the oldest)? Did you forget about her? Did her own mother forget about her too?
    image
  • Options
    I sent my STDs out over a span of about 3 weeks because my mom kept adding names to the list, so if you send one out now it won't be a big deal.  Unless, of course, her mom already told her she wasn't invited, then it'd be awkward.  I'm also curious about the third sister?  
  • Options
    Yeah, the 3rd sister is a lot older than I am--we never interacted and were never close. I think i was 13 when she got married, and then she moved across the country. No worries there. 

    Thanks for the thoughts, though--an STD is in the mail to #2!


    "He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at."
  • Options
    People can throw you a shower when they want to throw you a shower; ignore the people saying it's too early, it sounds like the people throwing it have good reasoning, and you're obviously not throwing it yourself so it's not like you're doing anything wrong. just make sure you send thank you notes right away and don't use the gifts until after the wedding and you're all good.

    you're fine sending the STD a little late, mail comes late for some people, things get missed... i wouldn't even bother explaining why it's late unless someone asks you directly (which, they shouldn't). have fun!!!
    Rocking the Dress with my Bestie
    image
    Vacation
    Married Bio
    Day Zero / Blog
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards