Wedding Etiquette Forum

Should we pay family members' band for reception music?

Hello! My fiancee's uncle is in a band, and we would like them to play at the wedding reception. They offered to "set aside the date" and the uncle planned to attend the wedding whether the band played or not.

Should we offer compensation? How much (I'm guessing an hour of music, four band members)? A gift instead?

Thanks for your ideas!

Raven

Re: Should we pay family members' band for reception music?

  • ilovemilkduds is completely right! my step father is in a band and when family asks them to play they ask him what is rate is and either its way cheap or he just says dont worry about it but assuming its free isnt really fair
  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited May 2011
    Based on your wording, it sounds like you approached them about playing. Yes, they absolutely should be paid their going rate as a vendor.  THink about it from the other guys' points of view - why should they give up pay for doing their job just because one of them is related to the bride/groom?
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • Yep. Don't assume it's free labor. They are performing a service for you. And just because one member is a relative, he still has to pay the other members of the band.
    image
    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
  • I'm not sure why you think it's would be free in the first place?   I always assume I have to pay for something.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-pay-family-members-band-reception-music?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2cdb28a7-b718-4d3d-b1ad-baa32b2e426ePost:03edf34d-e4c3-49ed-9e46-6792724bc0f5">Re: Should we pay family members' band for reception music?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not sure why you think it's would be free in the first place?   I always assume I have to pay for something.
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    This was my first thought as well.  Why would you not expect to pay?
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-pay-family-members-band-reception-music?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2cdb28a7-b718-4d3d-b1ad-baa32b2e426ePost:03edf34d-e4c3-49ed-9e46-6792724bc0f5">Re: Should we pay family members' band for reception music?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not sure why you think it's would be free in the first place?   I always assume I have to pay for something.
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    Yup.  The only way I could see thinking it would be free is if the family member said "Hey, if you wanted us to, our band will play for you for free for your wedding gift."

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • ravenaveryravenavery member
    10 Comments
    edited May 2011
    Fiancee's mom suggested they play, and the uncle contacted us -- I wasn't initially interested in approaching them. But, this is all still great advice and relevant, and I agree that the other guys wouldn't be at our wedding and it's most appopriate to pay. 

    Thanks for the advice on wording, MilkDuds! :)
  • im thinking be courteous and ask the price more than likely they will say its free and then at least you offered!
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