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Etiquette for toasts

scpalmtree06scpalmtree06 member
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Long story short: FI and I are planning a small wedding (35-50 guests), no wedding party at all, sit-down dinner no dancing reception.  Traditionally members of the WP give toasts, but since we don't have a WP we don't have anyone "automatically" lined up to do that.  Are we allowed to ask someone directly to please be prepared to give a toast, or is that a breach of etiquette?  I kinda feel like a toast is like a shower...if someone offers to give one, great, but if not, that's just how the cookie crumbles.

FWIW, we'd ask either my brother and/or FI's sister to give a toast.
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Re: Etiquette for toasts

  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I kinda think a toast is the same way. Will your parents be there? Sometimes the father of the bride gives a toast. Or whomever wants to give one. Maybe just casually drop by word of mouth that if anyone plans on giving a toast they should let you know and you can plan them for a specific time.
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  • LauraT25LauraT25
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    FI and I don't have a wedding party, either, and we were planning on addressing the guests instead of having toasts because I didn't want anyone to feel forced into giving toasts.  We figured that if someone wanted to give one, they could toast after our little welcome/thank you speech.  However, FI's best friend and his brothers brought it up, and since they volunteered they'll be giving toasts.  I would see if anyone mentions it to you, and if not you can casually ask if they were thinking about it.
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We had a wedding like yours - small (we only had 25 there), ceremony+meal, no dancing, no wedding party.

    My father is dead and my mother didn't want to do a toast to welcome everyone because FI and I chose to be greeting people at the door as they arrived, until 15 minutes prior to the ceremony when I went to get my dress on.

    So I asked my BFF to do the Apache Blessing as the champagne toast.  We moved two lines to the end to make it more like a toast.  It was very nice.

    Oh, and since we had no wedding party, we asked each of our moms to sign the wedding certificate.  They really liked it.  You could consider that...
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