Wedding Etiquette Forum

18 by when?

So I know that when you send out invitations, anyone who is 18 or older gets their own invite, even if they still live with their parents, are in high school, etc.

My question is, do you send invites to teens who will be 18 when you SEND the invite, or teens who will be 18 on the day of the wedding?  Like, we'll be sending out invites in February probably, and my cousin will be turning 18 a week and a half before our wedding.  Does he get his own invite?
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Re: 18 by when?

  • It really isn't that big of a deal, just send them an invite. If they're 17, they'll probably think it's cool that they got their own invitation. But you're definitely overthinking it and sending them out in February is pretty early for a May wedding.
  • Send the 17 yo his own invitation.
  • I actually didn't follow that rule.  I had 2 boy cousins who were 18 & 19 but still living with their parents.  I knew neither of them would 1. care if they got their own invite & 2. send in a RSVP, they would expect their parents to add them to the number. 

    If you think your cousin is the same way....don't waste your time sending him one. 
  • I would go with 18 at the time of sending the invitation but if the kid is still in high school, I would just include them on their parent's invitation even if they were 18.  That's just me though.  I agree that you're way overthinking this one.
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  • Ooops - maybe that was a mistake on my part, but the way I did it if you were living at home with her parents and were unmarried or not in a serious relationship included them & family.  So Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Family.  

    As long as they know that they are invited!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_18-by-when?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:2d9301f8-5a27-412c-8cf7-7971fd681507Post:0c2a16b6-7625-4c51-8142-676a02f741ec">Re: 18 by when?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Dude, you're totally overthinking it.  
    Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]
    lol I agree.

    As the pp said, if your cousin is the type of peron who would still rely on their parents to rsvp for him, then save yourself the postage. Go by that and not the actual age, since it's so close, anyway.:)
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  • I think this is a "whatever you feel like" subject.

    I was running short on invites, so my family only got one (even though my sister is 19 and my brother is 23, both living at home).  I have friends who are brother/sister living together out here.  Originally I was just going to invite him, but then I changed my mind, so their invite said "Joe & Jane Smith & guests"

    was it "improper"? probably.  Are they going to think I'm a rude wench and stop being my friend because of it? probably not.

    don't sweat the small stuff - there will be much bigger issues to deal w/ when planning!
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  • Here was my rule: If the 18 year old is an only child or the only child living at home, they get their own.

    If the 18 year old is the oldest of a group of siblings and I'm inviting the family, I sent one invitation to the family.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_18-by-when?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2d9301f8-5a27-412c-8cf7-7971fd681507Post:dfcde1f9-24d1-49d2-9b5f-31d42fe6068d">Re: 18 by when?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would go with 18 at the time of sending the invitation but if the kid is still in high school, I would just include them on their parent's invitation even if they were 18.  That's just me though.  I agree that you're way overthinking this one.
    Posted by danieliza1127[/QUOTE]

    Yup, this.  High school graduate when you mail the invites = gets his own.  Still in school?  On his parents.
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  • I think that if anyone is that young and still living at home, you should send one for the household.
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  • I didn't follow that rule, either.  Too expensive and a waste of paper to send the exact same invitation to the same address twice.
  • If he's away at college, I'd send his own. If he's in high school or college and still living in the same house, I'd put him on his parents' invite.
  • edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_18-by-when?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:2d9301f8-5a27-412c-8cf7-7971fd681507Post:1c0a918e-7782-4a90-b1eb-a4200f8da0d6">Re: 18 by when?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It really isn't that big of a deal, just send them an invite. If they're 17, they'll probably think it's cool that they got their own invitation. But you're definitely overthinking it and sending them out in February is pretty early for a May wedding.
    Posted by Pink7781[/]

    We'd be sending them out at the END of February/beginning of March, just to give ourselves a little buffer, especially since we have out-of-state relatives.  I figured that would probably be good since we're getting married the first week of May.

    But thanks for the advice girls!  He will still be in high school, so I'll just put him on with the family invitation :)

    (And yes, I'm a serial overthinker.  It's a blessing and (mostly) a curse)
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