Another? about bridal shower invites.....

jakstr0808

Ok, I know this topic has been beat to death but......

I can't decide if I should invite my and my fiance's oot aunts.  Especially because some of our other aunts (their sisters) are local and therefore invited.

They're definitely close enough (relationship wise) to be invited, but one lives accross the country and the other 3 are 5, 8, and 10hr drives away.  So i feel like they won't come if they are invited, but I don't want them to think they have to send a gift either.  I just don't want them to feel left out, but like everyone else, don't want to seem gift-grabby either.

What do I do?

danieliza1127

Ask your Moms for their opinion.  She'll likely know if these Aunts are the types to get upset if they aren't invited or to understand that it's just because they live so far away.

MissLeahM

I would send an invite anyway. We did with FI's aunt who lives a few hours away. It was more of a courtesy invite rather than expecting her to come.

quotequeen

I ditto asking your moms what they think.

GreenPepperBurger

If you're close to them, then I would definitely send an invite. Even if they won't make it, I'm sure they will send you a gift (regardless of what your intentions are) and they'll know that you want them to be there.

MISSCOURTNEY20

Send the invite. What can it hurt?

arv266

To be courteous I am sending an invite to all my aunts, knowing that only 1 of the 4 will be able to attend.  I know that even though they cannot attend, the idea that they were not invited, would be hurtful. 

Mrs_AF

We invitedseveral OOT family members, and didn't expect them to be able to come but they were so excited to be invited that they bought tickets and flew out. It really made them happy to know we wanted them there. I would send them.

chuygrl77

For the bridal shower I'd send it but follow up with a phone call.  If you're close it shouldn't be an awkward call, just let them know you wanted to make sure they aren't left out of any celebrations leading up to the big day but can understand if they can't make it.

We are inviting some of our WP to our engagment party who live halfway across the country.  We know we want them there and they prob won't be able to make it but don't want them to feel left out either.  They'll make the wedding for sure but pre-wedding events are still being extended to them because they are special.

I also agree, ask your moms.  They may have better insight if someone would get offended. 

Julz629

I'd invite them because you might be surprised if one of them is willing to make a long weekend trip for the shower and to see family.

Personally, I am inviting three of my out-of-town aunts but that is also because they are helping out with the shower.  My sister (MOH) is doing most of the planning, but the aunts have helped out in various ways -- one sent the invites, one ordered the favors, and the other one is helping financially.  So it only seemed fitting.

Besides that though, I extended the invite to a few out-of-town friends who may consider be around that weekend since their families are in the area.  However, I followed it up with an email that said, "I just wanted to extend the invite in case you were planning to be in town that weekend.  If you can't make it, I obviously understand and don't feel obligated in any way.  But I would love to see you if you're around."

jnic0319

Send an invite anyway, if it's too far they won't come.  They are adults let them make that decision.

danieliza1127

Those of you that are saying to just invite them, what can it hurt - You're right but it's more about looking like you just want a gift out of them because you know they aren't going to come from that far just for a shower.  So that's what you want to avoid.  If they're the type to be excited just to be invited, yes invite them.  If they're the type to be judgy and think you just invited them to get a gift out of them, don't do it.